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<p>Perhaps you are right, and perhaps that will affect the scoring of the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” event that follows, but it would be an empty victory by then.</p>
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<p>Why do you even propose parents should be involved in their childrens’ sex lives at all? Someone’s sex life is their private business.</p>
<p>OP here…A lot of good thoughts here. Some thing I hadn’t thought about, or hadn’t discussed and will now talk to D about.<br>
For the most part I’ve said the same as many of you… do what you already know is right, make me the bad guy…anything you need say you aren’t allowed to do is TRUE, as you are not allowed to do things that you aren’t comfortable doing.<br>
Right now, no getting in the car with a boy (There is only one friend that we have let her ride with so far). No being alone with a boy (has to be groups and/or in public).
Curfew and some things are situational. We will come pick you up, anytime, anyplace, for any reason.
I let her know that, she has never given us cause to distrust her by being secretive or dishonest, and that will benefit her, but should that change…well, that would be bad. ;-)</p>
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Parents are involved in their children’s lives and rightfully so.</p>
<p>Their sex lives? Really?</p>
<p>Something you seem to either not understand or not care about is that peoples’ lives are theirs, not their parents. People control who they include in their lives and to what extent. Parent’s don’t like the idea of their kids having sex, no matter how old they are (even if you believe no sex before marriage, you don’t want to actually think about it).</p>
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Why is sex an exception?</p>
<p>Why are parents involved in their kids lives at all? Well, 1) because they’re curious because they love them, and 2) to ensure their kids’ well being. Having sex is actually good for you, health-wise and psychologically, and as long as it’s not damaging (ex. promiscuity because of low self esteem, putting yourself in dangerous environments, etc), why should parents be involved?</p>
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Ok! I shouldn’t be concerned if my 15 year old son wants to have sex every other day with random girls. It’s his sex life. It’s his business. </p>
<p>MyNameIsCorey, I think you’re forgetting that these a teenagers, not adults. It’s not their life that they’re in full control of. It’s their parents to some extent. And under that jurisdiction is sex. So if a parent feels that sex is not what their child needs in their life in the given moment an they have legitimate reasons and evidence to come to that conclusion, the kid better respect it. </p>
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If a child is willing to cut their parents out of their lives because they won’t let them have sex, then by all means, they have the free will to do so. </p>
<p>But that means give me the car keys, give me you laptop, give me your TV, give me your IPod AND iPad, give me your iPhone, give me all the luxuries I’ve given to you. Those luxuries are for a respectful, well-behaving kid.</p>
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Which is completely subjective, and considering that people can have perfectly healthy lives without sex, I don’t think restrictions are so unreasonable as you’re making them out to be, even though you may disagree with them.</p>
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And, what’s even worse, it means throw all that love and effort that your parents gave you right back at them by cutting them out. Just for sex.</p>
<p>Parents are allowed to give rules to their under age children. Whether the rules are reasonable or not is another debate.</p>
<p>I do think people should be involved in their sex lives, as you put it. Way too many schools don’t teach comprehensive sex ed and the stuff you learn from the media is over-glamorized. Parents SHOULD be teaching their kids the reality of sex- what can come with it and how to prevent it. Yes, that is being involved in your kid’s sex life. Do I think a parent should say “no sex”? No because I think that’s mostly unrealistic and can prevent the child from coming to a parent if something DOES happen for fear that they’ll get punished (not realizing immediately that the consequences of an unintended pregnancy that is left too long or an untreated STI is FAR worse than anything your parents will likely throw at you.)</p>
<p>I found out last night that my dad has known about my stash of condoms since I was 15 (I was telling him about this thread). I asked why he never said anything and he said it was because he was proud more than anything. It meant that something had clicked in my head as I was smart enough not to trust the man to remember to bring protection lol</p>
<p>@stressed- So what if someone’s 30, independent and unmarried, and wants to have sex, but the parents don’t ‘allow it’? Should this person remain celibate?</p>
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TBH, I’m having trouble imagining this situation. Either this hypothetical person has never had sex before due to their parents’ say so, in which case I don’t really see the conflict, or they’ve already had sex before anyways.</p>
<p>You didn’t answer the question. What if a person who’s 30 decides they’re finally ready to have sex, but they know their parents strongly disapprove- should they not do it?</p>
<p>We’re talking about children, not grown adults.</p>
<p>A 30 year old is a grown adult. They make their own decisions. If they are 100% ready and willing to have sex then they should be open to justifying their actions to their parents who most likely will express their discontent.</p>
<p>I’m sorry Niquii77, I didn’t address your post before.</p>
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<p>So you’re saying if parents have evidence that sex is not the thing for their kid at the moment, they have the right to enforce such a rule- fine. But what if their is no evidence- what if they have a totally put together, healthy, smart 16 year old who’s been dating his girlfriend for a year and there’s no reason for why this kid shouldn’t have sex? Should the parents still be able to prevent their son?</p>
<p>Also, I’m just curious to figure out what stressedout’s opinion is.</p>
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<p>Since when was a 30 year old a minor?
They aren’t talking about 30 year olds, they are talking about minors.</p>
<p>@barrk123- In some countries, 15 year olds are adults, in other countries 21 year olds are. If parents are only allowed to make decisions like sex for their children if the children are minors, do you think their influence changes by geography?</p>
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Yes, they should be able to prevent their son from having sex.</p>
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<p>Why? (10 char)</p>
<p>If that’s their belief, they have the right to prevent their kid from having sex. </p>
<p>Personally, I don’t see why a 16 year old needs to have sex. They’ll be tempted, but there’s something called self-control. If it was my kid, I’d tell them they can’t have sex. Save yourself for marriage or at least a committed relationship. A one year relationship for a 16 year old is not committed relationship. </p>
<p>Other parents can let their kids have sex all they want, but not my kids. Nope.</p>