When does a thread ever entirely stick to the topic at hand? Though her post is completely relevant to the topic. This thread is completely related to societal rules and norms.
I don’t think this thread is going to get any further than other threads about girls bringing it all on themselves. We line up on our sides, there are “likes” on both sides.
So lemme tell this. Sarah Ferguson has been quoted saying her own critical upbringing left such crushing insecurities that she’d never bring up appearance standards with her girls. No idea what she did do, but I’m not a fan, to say the least, of how the young ladies do appear in public. And that’s covered up.
That “what the heck are they thinking?” reaction covers lots of ground. No?
@BunsenBurner you also forgot to note that I left off the period at the the end of the sentence. Does it make you feel better to point out that I failed to appropriately proofread my post. =D>
I think there are an awful lot of people who apparently don’t have enough going on in their lives if they are spending that much time passing judgements on other people’s clothing choices. I just returned from school clothes shopping with my teen daughters. I couldn’t tell you what one person in the mall was wearing. I have no idea whether people were showing underwear or bra straps or butt cheeks or cleavage. I saw some cute parents and kids, grandparents with grandkids… but I couldn’t tell you what anyone was wearing. I did have a great time with my girls and my husband as we tried on clothes and worked at finding the best deals.
I guess I’m confused @laegg. I fully understand that judging people by superficial factors outside their control (height, ethnicity etc) is wrong, but why do you find it offensive to judge people based upon their actions in dressing? Presumably those who wear white nationalist slogans on their t shirts or political statements for or against Trump or guns or pot or abortion or whatever are making statements that will be judged. All of us are choosing by our actions to express ourselves in what we say, write and wear, every day. It seems reasonable to assess accordingly.
@mom2twogirls , if you didn’t notice what anyone was wearing, it was probably because no one was presenting with a startling look. I think that if you had seen a guy walking by in a speedo you would have noticed it, LOL. Whereas at the beach you wouldn’t have particularly noticed it, unless he was posing. 
So, does anyone remember the discussion of bikini carwashes? :O)
@roycroftmom I guess because the slogan on the t-shirt {objectively} conveys a specific message. A skirt length is subjective. What is too short, ankle, mid calf, mid knee, mid thigh, butt check and who is the arbiter of too short?
I would say a skirt that shows your butt cheek is too short. Suspecting that most people would agree. Nobody needs to be the arbiter, but people certainly have the right to form their own opinions.
I notice a Speedo at the beach, lol. And just hope it’s a guy who looks good.
No, it always seems to be the 80 year old guy with the massive beer gut. I don’t know why, but it is. The older guys seem to be pretty comfortable in their own skins. We were on a beach not too long ago, and that 80 year old guy had taken off his Speedo. He was really comfortable with himself, as it wasn’t a nude beach.
And it’s very telling there’s very little mention of the need to have a stern lecture or parental sanctions for adolescent/teen boys who effectively are spreading malicious gossip.
Ironic considering such conduct would have incurred serious punishments from the Catholic elementary schools I attended*, prompt peers/older boys to rough up and toss the offending male gossiper into the nearest trashcan/dumpster with full approval of most fathers in the neighborhood, and with some fathers/brothers of the girl/young woman being talked about…those comments would be taken as fighting words…
I.e. Mouth washed out with soap and water*, in-school detention after school, or if repeated, expulsion with extreme prejudice and no refunds for the parent.
** This was still the practice when I attended in the '80s…and other classmates got to see it happen as an implicit warning to not follow the example of the wayward classmate.
FYI: Speaking as an urbanite and someone who knows professional musicians in multiple genres, one major reason why misogynistic themes have become prevalent in popularized rap music is precisely because most of the popular rap music industry mostly caters to the suburban tastes based on popular centuries old stereotypes about African-Americans and sexuality because that’s where they’ve made the lion’s share of their money. If one examined rap culture before that or many underground subcultures…it was just one of many themes covered and not necessarily a major defining one. ever, when the mainstream record labels(The major 5 record labels own all the subsidiary labels from which popular rap and other genres are propagated) found there was a substantial market for misogynistic and violent rap lyrics from suburbia…that’s what they invested in because that’s where they felt they will receive the most returns financially.
Thanks for that post, @cobrat. I’m catching up and came to say the same thing. It is appalling that our society is quicker to judge a bra strap as skanky than be irritated that young men talk that way. It speaks to the misogynistic and sexist culture that so many subscribe to - even other women.
It’s ironic that @cobrat is using Catholic schools as an example, which have very strict dress codes for both boys and girls and ban the clothing under discussion.
There’s a gulf of a difference between parents signing up minors to attend institutions with strict dress codes and passing judgment on adults for clothing choices in public settings without such restrictions and boys/teens spreading malicious gossip.
And it’s more ironic IMO that you missed the point that those Catholic Schools practiced some even-handedness by strongly discouraging malicious gossip or the use of what they’d consider profanity by boys who would be so inclined by their own inclinations or worse, by effective parental encouragement by the absence of any parental sanctioning for such behavior.
And it’s not restricted to the religious schools or parents.
Hey @lookingforward @cobrat and @doschicos
in regards to my post #167 I was only trying to impart some knowledge. I read your responses and I’m taking away from them that we all as a collective group are supposed to express rage and somehow become SJWs because of teen locker room talk? If you want to pick that battle of policing thought and speech of male teenage athletes go right ahead. But that’s a boulder you’ll be rolling up Mt Whitney IMO. I never said I condone that type of speech nor did I say my boys use that word. They merely shared in our driving talks about what goes on at the high school. Was I supposed to report it? So do I report the girl who texted a naked pic of herself to a bunch of athletes at their HS? Where do you draw the line? Again, these were conversations I have had with my kids during our commute time. And for the record, and so you won’t think I’m some mysoginistic mother, my H and I do raise our sons to be respectful of everyone. They don’t live in a bubble though so they do hear and know about things at high school and in college I wish they didn’t.
We don’t live in a perfect world and for all of you attack opposing viewpoints just goes to show how messed up and divisive our world is. It’s OKAY to have differing opinions. The OP, @MIMomma, expressed real concern for her daughter and perception of her because of her chosen outfits. She asked for thoughts and opinions to help process this dilemma she’s facing, not for this thread to devolve into other posters picking on each other and their opinions.
As you can see,@CalSmom, it is not okay to give differing opinions on certain subjects. People will attack the individual, not argue their point.
“we all as a collective group are supposed to express rage and somehow become SJWs because of teen locker room talk?”
Nothing SJW about it (like how you had to use a term I’m sure is derogatory in your view). Let’s call it “Christian” values if it makes you feel better. But, yes, it shouldn’t be acceptable. I’m not naive to the fact it does take place and my son and I do have discussions about such things in society. My husband and I have raised both our daughter and son to be feminists.
As far as the OP’s initial post, I think that has been addressed multiple times with multiple viewpoints. I think @cobrat said it best back on the first page in post #8:
"Once someone is past the age of majority(18), unless they’re attending a family function/workplace event where it could reflect negatively on you professionally, you’re asked, or are potentially paying for the item of clothing in question…best to keep one’s opinions to oneself.
Picking one’s battles and all that."
“As you can see,@CalSmom, it is not okay to give differing opinions on certain subjects. People will attack the individual, not argue their point.”
Actually, no one called out @CALSmom. We were discussing the fact that males seem to get carte blanche for their abhorrent, sexist talk while females get chastised for a bra strap showing. It was a topic she brought up but not something she personally said. There’s a difference. Nothing personal about that.
In the not too distant past, such parental and sometimes school-based policing of “teen locker talk” was considered the bare minimum parenting/educational requirement to socialize boys/teens to fulfill the minimum requirements of the gentleman ideal among the upper/middle-classes and those aspiring to such status.
Boys/male teens who openly talked in such a matter would have been considered ill-bred and products of bad parenting/socialization back then.
Far from your implication that this is a recent phenomenon.
Now they’re elected to high office. 
“…express rage and somehow become SJWs because of teen locker room talk?”
CALSimon, I happen to have my own reasons for some suspicions about some SJWs, kinda cringe you think that’s what we meant. As well as some of the gaslighting.
I said I’d have a serious chat with my girls. What is right about guys calling women “hos?” Who wants to take that one on? Explain why it’s ok. Try not to use, “boys will be boys.” Try not to make it into some lighthearted joking.