The point was women, although occasionally men too (ex. guy with a six pack and his shirt off), will dress a certain way with the goal of getting attention, looks from others. At this point, maybe this thread has run its course.
We all agree about the reality of first impressions, and social signifiers. I know people judge harshly, but I am still surprised that CC parents would call people sleazes, whores and prostitutes because of a shortish skirt. It’s not the judging or 1st impression, it’s the horrible labels, simply for a skirt and bralette or short shorts.
I hope we have also learned that 1st impressions are often wrong. The plumber with the pants can be a great coach, the sleaze with the dress is actually the orthopod in the office that all the nurses and doctors seek out when they need surgery.
The use of words like sleaze and hooker is a social signifier too. My DD’s and their friends have chosen schools without frats and would never attend athletic teams’ parties, especially helmet teams. Those are social signifiers that girls and guys on campus warned them about. They are happy with their NARP friends and meet some very nice athletes outside of parties. They make impressions but don’t assume every individual frat guy or lacrosse player is a rapist. That is the kind of harsh judgments people are making of women based on a skirt.
@CALSmom , thanks, I know that kind of talk goes on with kids but hadn’t heard of THOTs. Makes me sad for the girls and the guys, and don’t you wish their parents would guide them about that kind of behavior? You must have a great relationship with your kids that they feel comfortable talking with you like that. I think that’s so important!
@momofthreeboys , yes, certainly everyone THINKS when they dress, but in post #171 you missed my point. People do think when they dress, but YOU and I don’t know what they are thinking when they dress. You stated you more than once that you knew what others were thinking when they dressed when you see them. You said they thought they looked so sexy as they dressed, but that doesn’t mean that was what they were thinking. The shorts my 9th grade friends and I played soccer in were short, but none of us thought we looked sexy as we walked out the door.
Shorts were short in the late 70’s, early 80’s. Everybody wore them for hanging out, sports, the NBA and casual wear. We weren’t all sleazes. Short shorts are just as ubiquitous today. It’s just what the kids have. They aren’t any sluttier than the NBA players or high school boys of those days.
“My DD’s and their friends have chosen schools without frats and would never attend athletic teams’ parties, especially helmet teams.”
Is this stereotyping or not? 
No this us not about girls and guys who sext. They do. My kids confirm it Is not usual but sure it happens and they all know girls or guys that have but that is a different thread. This thread is about women who dress provocatively and some do. My h just flew through and said of course you notice and my 28 year old said you might not hit them up because that is rude but of course you notice, they want you to notice or they wouldn’t dress that way. Out of the mouth of old guys and young.
Free the nipple!
Well, I guess everyone needs a cause they can stand for. Forget equal pay for equal work, no more nukes, save the whales…free the nipple!
I need a t-shirt with that slogan. 
Whether or not I say anything, I do notice what people I encounter are wearing as I expect they notice what I am wearing. To say that none of us ever notices clothing that folks wear seems a bit much. Mostly, if the clothing fits into the venue (beach attire on the beach and dressy attire at dressy functions, etc.), the attire is mostly unmemorable and not something I focus upon. If the clothing is especially pleasing to the eye (or displeasing), I note that as well. I admit I do notice when the attire seems especially tight or revealing on males or females, especially if it makes me uncomfortable. If that makes me a prude or “judger,” fine, but I think it is reasonable to assume that it will likely draw the attention of others as well.
It is naïve to assume that folks will NOT judge people by appearances, as this is done all the time all over the world. Perhaps it should NOT be done, but in the world I live in, it IS done. I have raised my kids to live in the world as I know it, not an idealized world where NO judgments are ever made on how people are dressed because they live in this world, warts and all.
When our kids were young, we would discuss clothing styles and what we each thought of different styles and had pretty good agreement on what we thought was tasteful vs in poor taste. Now that my kids are over 21 and buying most things on their own, I generally am not asked about their clothing tastes so don’t offer opinions about them. I am happy that generally I like their taste in attire (what they wear and when) and they like mine.
If I really was concerned that they dressed in a manner I considered scantily attired or otherwise inappropriate, I would try to figure out a way for us to discuss it in a manner where they could talk about why they chose to dress in that manner and I would voice any reservations I had, all in a respectful manner (otherwise I’d just bite my tongue).
Wait, people are sharing disgusting things some boys say, in order to call out what girls wear? SMH.
Wait, people are sharing disgusting things some boys say, in order to call out what girls wear? SMH.
deleted. double post.
Once again I started my last post a long time ago and only finished it recently, we’re packing up our recent grad to move to her apt., so I was responding to posts fairly far back…
@BunsenBurner, I tried to explain that, but I am incapable of posting without being too wordy. 
I mentioned that the frat parties or parties that athletic teams hold are a social signifier to my DD’s and their friends. Just wanted to provide examples of other social signifiers other than young girls and clothing. They will make an initial judgement to not attend, but that they don’t think all athletes are awful or rapists, of course. I mentioned that to show they make an initial impression without judging them severely. They have a lot of NARP friends :-/ , silly term that I don’t think the non-athletes invented, but they make friends with athletes on an individual basis away from parties.
Wow, never saw SJW and NARP before. There sure are a ton of acronyms. This issue sure engenders a lot of very strong feelings. I am grateful search engines help those of us unfamiliar with these terms parse them out.
Actually, it seems that short shorts are still common for women, but much less common for men (other than for specific athletic activities) compared to a few decades ago. Shorts with 5" or less inseam were common back then for both genders, but now only for women, while shorts for men tend to have 7-12" inseam these days. High school girls and boys seem to wear similar lengths of shorts as older women and men.
NARP that is hilarious…kids and I figured that must be the new acronym for geek. Too funny. You learn something new every day.
Hopefully you read the description on the Urban Dictionary, which is hilarious. Now I realize that I am a NARP, and that some things make more sense, knowing, “The SJW’s favorite activity of all is to dogpile”.
NARP? Not a real person?
@raclut, I was similarly perplexed. The first thing that comes up on Google is, " Neuropathy, ataxia, and retinitis pigmentosa". Then National Association of Railroad passengers. But the Urban Dictionary defines NARPs as:
@ucbalumnus , I totally agree! I meant to say that everyone wore the short shorts in the 70’s and early 80’s, and my point was that obviously everyone wasn’t being sleazy, it was just the norm. When I said short shorts were ubiquitous now I was thinking for women in my head and was posting carelessly. I definitely agree that shorts are quite long for men and boys now. My mistake. Funny how the styles change.
@SOSConcern , you reminded me how my DD’s wore shorts under there uniform skirts… I appreciated that little memory!
@momofthreeboys , we thought it was funny too, but I can’t remember the acronym for the athletes! Also, I have to comment on your post #223… You said that your son said 'they want you to notice or they wouldn’t dress that way".
I’m sure he is an awesome young man, but that particular comment really disturbed me. It relates to what I mentioned to you in post 221. Just the absolute assurance that you know what a stranger is thinking… To see it put so bluntly and as though it’s no big deal is frankly alarming. It’s just untrue. We CAN NOT know what a stranger is thinking when they choose an outfit. Like I said, SO many reasons someone put something on. You CAN’T know if they are thinking about a dance audition and it’s too warm to cover the dance shorts with sweats, only going out for a short time, this dress looks so pretty on me, gosh I hope my soccer team wins, this is my confidence dress because my sister got it at the really fancy store in Europe, shoot, I wish the baby didn’t puke on my pants cause all I have clean is this skirt… You get the idea. Just because it isn’t your preference does NOT mean you can read a girl or woman’s mind. You do not know they wore it thinking they look sexy or wanting to look sexy.
@HImom , yes, so much to learn in this thread! I learned SJW, THOT and social signifiers ;)) Also, @ucbalumnus and @roethlisburger taught me how to tag people and quote, although I didn’t tackle quotes yet. Too much in one day, lol. Gotta turn in, we’re helping my DD1 move to NY tomorrow. :x
As far as I know, NARP is a thing originally coined at Middlebury. I haven’t heard it used too much in other places/contexts.
However, knowing that others may judge you by specific aspects of clothing or appearances does not necessarily mean that you should judge others by those same aspects of clothing or appearances.
You may know that some people may disapprove of you wearing shorts that are too short or too long (and what is “too short” or “too long” may vary…), but that does not mean that you should disapprove of someone because of the length of the shorts that s/he is wearing.
told my HS son about this thread. He said there’s NO WAY he’d let his MS sis out of the house wearing those short shorts. If you dont know what he’s talking about, google it. On a middle school girl, it’s wildly inappropriate. And yep, I’m judging those parents who let their young girls out wearing that.