Oh, and for any moms who also have younger daughters:
Believe it or not Justice sells bralettes for the middle school set. My 14year old wouldn’t be caught dead shopping there, but happily wears the bralettes I pick up for her there. We even found some for her TINY 13 year old cousin-- it made the cousin’s day to finally find some more adult clothes in her very young size.
I generally didn’t say something unless there was a problem that the daughter didn’t realize, such as the item being more sheer in the light than she expected, or underwear being unintentionally visible.
I work in Times Square and do a lot of people watching while waiting for the bus. I’d rather see a young woman’s clean bra strap, than be able to connect the dots on some women’s cellulite in their stretch pants. But that’s just me. One of my friends yesterday wore to work a very pretty summer outfit with capri pants, however the fabric was so thin and light that it left absolutely nothing to the imagination in the office. I mean really nothing. So I agree with the time and place concept.
I would not comment on my adult D’s clothing choices any more than I would comment on any other adult’s clothing choices. My next door neighbor made a comment about S’s GF’s short dress once, saying that I should tell her not to dress that way. I put an end to that discussion … it’s not my business. I really wish people would focus less on clothing, piercings, tattoos, hair. I work at an art school, and my some of my students are artworks themselves. And I adore them for who they are, not what they look like.
Adults who dress inappropriately for the occasion will either realize it or not, and they will suffer any negative consequences that may arise. That’s part of the learning curve of adulthood.
I do feel differently about children and teens, though. I think discussing appearance with underage children is appropriate. I am not a fan of scanty clothing for children or teens, but my discussions would be limited to my own children.
Ya’ll have touched my hot button…
If you are bothered by or are judging anyone by what they are wearing the problem is you.
Nuff said.
Certainly not when it’s your own child.
I got a good chuckle over the bralette comments. Anyone over a size D chest - including myself and my daughters - cannot wear one. Absolutely no support. I went back to school shopping the other day with both of my daughters and nearly all of the “cute” tops/blouses were off the shoulder or had very small straps. Every sweater and sweatshirt looked like it came from the set of Flashdance. It would be nearly impossible to hide the straps of a supportive bra with any of those tops.
And short-shorts? They are everywhere, and the only alternatives to the short-shorts that we found were Bermuda shorts.
There are very few clothes for young women that are modest but cute these days.
Well, as someone who loved hip huggers and short shorts growing up…I wouldn’t say anything. Just jealous–I don’t look great (or even close) in those styles anymore–wear them while you can. Oh and dresses were SO short–I’m trying to remember how I could even sit down but somehow we managed fairly well. I think today they are even longer than what we wore back then.
And thank goodness bra straps are no longer a big deal–mine drive me crazy–I’m gonna snip the stupid things off–time for a new invention. Oh yeah–a lot of women didn’t even wear bras back then–good old days…
I think back at some of the things I wore without a thought as a teen and just wish I had taken more pictures. 
I do think place makes a difference and having on appropriate clothes for the situation heads off embarrassment. I probably wouldn’t say anything to a older daughter except for church, job, older family type situation.
My girls are young enough that I can still tell them they aren’t going anywhere with me until they change out of “at home only” clothes. My DDs have heard enough already about appearance. I sometimes take a nice co-worker home, through a red-light district. The DDs have gone with me and can see with their own eyes that appearance is being blatantly used to relay a message.
I could never wear them, either, but as a person who was a 32DD at 12, I’m thrilled that my daughters can.
And I think bra straps showing became acceptable when so many colors became available. I don’t see white and beige being shown (not on purpose anyway).
To be honest when my D first showed up wearing this “new” fashion ( it’s been a few years) I was taken aback but when I looked around I realized it WAS the fashion and I needed to suck it up. That’s when I thought back to when I grew up. Personally I was happy to get D out of oversized clothes and parachute pants…
In regards to girls in HS & their clothes: i have overheard my son and his friends talking about girls & what they wear . I really dont want my daughters to be discussed like that!
Of course I dont want my boys to talk or think about girls like they are pieces of meat; yet that’s what they naturally think when they see the cheeks hanging out of the short shorts.
every action has an equal opposite reaction. girls who show every inch of their assets will be talked about.
I suspect, if we were in the same room, we’d mostly agree about what’s appropriate, when and where, and the value of understanding how some will form instant impressions.
What strikes me though, is how, today, some are so quick to declare who’s a skank, how they detest, abhor, or hate these gals. That’s too fast, too judgmental and, like it or not, against what we adult women fought for, since we were OP’s daughter’s age : to be judged on our merits, not boxed bc we’re women.
Some here (sorry if this hits a nerve,) are playing Jim Bob Duggar: it’s something wrong with the female. As a sexual object, first and foremost, she’s tempting men by showing her knees or bare shoulders. She’s flawed, it’s her character. And she’s doomed. (He’s supposedly aghast Jinger now appears in Bermuda shorts or slacks.)
And I have issue with that.
Slut shaming isn’t just about how some blame the woman, she must have triggered the male response, so he’s blame free, even for heinous acts. It’s also how lightning fast these judgments come out. How they reveal inner thinking about women.
The dang mall isn’t an opera house, funeral, debate competition, or job. Some young gals at the mall? They bend you out of shape?
I agree completely that we look better a bit more covered, but she is an adult, so let it go.
Sorry but what the heck is a “bralette” and how does it differ from a bra? A bra is a bra…,.there are sports bras, underwire bras, push-up bras, bandeau bras…how is a bralette different that it can be worn differently than any other bra? If I google it, and hit images I just see a bunch of pictures of bras.
The flashdance thing is funny…i thought it looked like people were wearing tops that were too big in the 80s and I still think that. There was a young woman pumping gas next to me yesterday and her shirt had slid way down one arm and her bra strap was hanging out and I stood their pumping my gas trying to decide if that was intentional or an issue with her clothes LOL. I guess I just think of underwear as well being “under” other things not a fashion forward idea
I had to look up a definition for bralette. They seem to have straps so why are they better? FWIW I never had a problem with the way my daughter chose to dress. I do think little shorts and revealing tops are for the most part an expression of exuberant youth and I am without judgement beyond that.
I guess I am going against the crowd, the short shorts are a no no in my house. When my daughter is at school I have no control over what she wears or buys, but when she comes home, she knows not to put those on around me. Im sorry the hip huggers etc that folks are mentioning were not that short. When I go to the beach, I expect to see a$$ cheeks, I dont expect to see them at the mall. Shorts were not 5" from the waist to the crotch back in the day.
I am so glad “mom” jeans are back in style, that way I dont have to see butt cracks constantly.
My daughters wear trendy clothes, short dresses, etc, but there is a limit.
@momofthreeboys a bralette is a soft-cup bra made of a lace-like material. The bralette strap is usually made of the same lace-like material, unlike a regular bra. The lace material looks pretty when revealed, unlike a regular bra strap.
Out of respect for the uniqueness of parent/child relationships, and every home is different. So I can only offer my own experiences. My parents had no issue correcting me and my siblings on how we dressed. They felt that when you leave their house, you (what you wear, how you act/speak/perform, etc.) was a reflection of them, our family name, and of you as a person. My husband, a preacher’s kid and retired military, was raised with the same standards. We dress conservatively even though we are in great shape. So, yes, we correct our children’s decisions/judgements in all areas of their lives, as necessary, for as long as they live under our roof. But, this isn’t new. We have been consistent since they were little. They hear nothing new now that they are older. They know that they will hear truth from us…not so much from the world around them.
Honestly the short-shorts don’t bother me much, but I cannot stand the current trend of the pockets of destroyed jean shorts sticking through the gaping holes. It looks ridiculous to me.
I’m tired of seeing everyone butts. That is a trend I had hoped would have died long ago.