<p>With 170K a year, and I’m not one to act like I think this is a lot of money to some people, you should be able to at least afford the state U. If D has stellar stats, CA has great state U’s.</p>
<p>carry on.</p>
<p>Do we have your daughter’s stats? Mom2CK is on the thread and she knows about some places that do a lot of different things for scholarships. Same with Cpt.</p>
<p>There is a whole thread on the financial aid forum for guaranteed merit scholarships. Perhaps someone will link it here. There are plenty of parents on the parents forum and financial aid forum who can address merit aid…and need based aid (sorry…this family will likely NOT qualify…certainly not for D1 freshman or sophomore year when she is the only one in college…and ,maybe not her junior year when D2 attends college!). For need based aid at those very generous schools, mom’s income AND assets will be considered as well. We don’t know if either parent has remarried, but if they have…that will count on Profile schools. </p>
<p>I’d be looking for schools,with guaranteed merit aid if finances are tight with this income. There should be options…if the stats are there!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Legally, you’re correct. </p>
<p>However, there’s a good case to be made that others can draw legitimate unflattering conclusions about the character of those who make idle promises and/or make a habit of flaking out on commitments…especially towards younger relatives like children/grandchildren.</p>
<p>Your daughter should consider FAFSA only schools that have generous merit scholarships. Worst case scenario is that she’d get into an expensive school counting on GP’s to pay, and then they withdraw support and she’d have to transfer after a year or two… Very few colleges provide merit scholarships to transfer students, which could mean having to drop out altogether. Better to go to a school she can afford without help.</p>
<p>Many, many, very intelligent kids go to lesser tier schools and are perfectly happy and go on to successful careers. My kids, for example.</p>
<p>Yes, Thumper, too, and Kelsmom, and Dodgersmom, and a few others just off the top of my head. If money is an issue, the sooner you get off of this shaky grandparent ground and onto solid ground, the sooner you can make a workable plan.</p>
<p>If D1 asks why, just say that you don’t have any money in the bank from them, or an account, and so… you can’t do a thing with words.</p>
<p>Cobrat, it wasn’t a promise or a commitment. </p>
<p>Anyway, I don’t really want to hear about how the GPs are “such poor character” when you tell us stories of your own relatives who only paid for exceedingly high grades / only selected universities, or required the giftee to then feel obliged for years to come. Ain’t nothin’ high character about those situations, either.</p>
<p>I really don’t see why someone who has 170K take home should be having this as a huge issue, anyway.</p>
<p>And, I promise, I’m not one to run around acting like that is oodles of cash. But it is enough to pay for college, especially with merit or instate.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>For chrissake, they SUED him for repayment of a gift! Their own D apparently is not in contact with them, and they financed her divorce proceedings. Wouldn’t you be just a tad emotional???</p>
<p>Now, maybe the OP is a psychopath and his ex is equally appalling, and the GPs are poor, put-upon good people who are dealing with manipulative, lying scum. But somehow I doubt it.</p>
<p>Consolation…you are right. All the more reason to avoid being tied to them for college costs! I’m fact, given the story, I would avoid them like the plague. It’s not like they have brought joy to the OP or his kids.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Major difference was they made their terms clear from each of our childhoods onwards and if those terms were fulfilled, the relatives followed through. </p>
<p>They made a promise with terms beforehand and kept it when those terms were fulfilled. They didn’t flake or otherwise capriciously change their mind at the last minute. </p>
<p>While one may not agree with their terms, at least they’re upfront and forthright about them and in keeping their promises.</p>
<p>As for their terms, while I agree that the standards are set too high, at least they’re consistent in desiring to provide the support on the basis of demonstrated academic merit and seriousness of purpose in going to college. Latter is to ensure they’re not going to college for the wrong reasons(i.e. Partying, getting rich, going by default).</p>
<p>There’s something wrong with going to college to enhance your income?</p>
<p>cobrat, you have some really weird and judgmental relatives, imo. I mean, honestly, who cares if a kid goes to school to get rich or by default?</p>
<p>I don’t even think those are “high” standards, just idiosyncratic and esoteric and, frankly, irrelevant to most students’ lives. </p>
<p>I’m not one who is generally bothered by your cousin stories, but don’t you think this is just strange and wildly out of touch with most students’ lives?</p>
<p>poetgrl - you are a much better person than some of us.</p>
<p>Oh, I don’t know. You guys all seem pretty ‘better’ to me.</p>
<p>
Entering the same data I used earlier (250k income with high taxes and little assets), the Stanford net price calc gives a reduced tuition for all years – 43k parental contribution with 1 daughter that “will be enrolled in college”, 25k with 2, and 17k with 3.</p>
<p>As other have said, Stanford is highly selective, and one certainly can not assume that they’ll be accepted. Nevertheless, it is not the only school that may fulfill a daughter’s dream and gives large tuition discounts when parents are truly struggling financially.</p>
<p>Data…yes, you are right on those numbers. But I want to say…in my opinion someone with an after tax income of $170,000 should be able to mange their money to send their kids to college. Just my opinion as one who had 1/3 of that income and somehow paid almost full freight for bottom kids to go to undergrad school at expensive private colleges (think $50k per year each).</p>
<p>In my opinion, the OP should manage college finances on his own…without the grandparents contribution. As noted, if they do pony up, he can put an equal amount of money in a 529 to be used by the other two kiddos.</p>
<p>But…from what the OP has written, any money will likely come with strings attached. AND the OP has also reported a lot of bad baggage already between the grandparents and him. </p>
<p>Don’t count other people’s money…and don’t count ON other peoples money. There should be plenty of options with good merit possibilities for someone who has the stats to be a competitive applicant for Stanford or any of the other VERY generous schools.</p>
<p>And as mentioned earlier…mom’s financials WILL be required when applying for need based aid.</p>
<p>
True, but working in a law firm, I’ve seen some very, very large amounts of money going to divorces, custody issues, and other legal matters. It’s not a stretch to think that a lot of savings could be wiped out that way.</p>
<p>Ok…this person says…the grandparents helped finance the former wife’s part of the divorce, forced him into bankruptcy, and sued him for repayment of the downpayment for the house. WHY would he want to get involved in another financial transaction with them? Sorry…but I would scrub floors nights to finance college myself under these circumstances.</p>
<p>
You and me both. Being paranoid, I would worry that they would let D pick a school and then pull the rug out from under her in a year or so. Yes, paranoid, but easily settled by not dealing with them.</p>
<p>*Quote:</p>
<h1>But I want to say…in my opinion someone with an after tax income of $170,000 should be able to mange their money to send their kids to college.</h1>
<p>True, but working in a law firm, I’ve seen some very, very large amounts of money going to divorces, custody issues, and other legal matters. It’s not a stretch to think that a lot of savings could be wiped out that way.
*</p>
<p>True…but even with NO savings, a single parent with that income should be able to afford a CSU, which this dad claims would be difficult. Keep in mind that this income is for ONE adult and 3 teens. One adult is cheaper than two adults in the family. Adults are expensive. this single dad isn’t having to pay for daycare. He may be indulging his teen Ds and that may need to be adjusted. The girls may have their own cars, extensive wardrobes, generous allowances. The family may have pricey cell phones/plans, expensive cable packages, and be wasteful with water/electric use. Many of these things can be cutback. The girls can work/babysit to fund their own optional expenses. </p>
<p>I may be way off base, but the mom is the child of wealthy parents. She may have set a horrible example for these girls, thinking that many luxury items are necessities. My own MIL was like this. Her dad was an affluent senator and she was raised in the lap of luxury. She raised her kids to think that luxury items and wasteful ways are “normal.” Economizing is completing foreign to them. </p>
<p>If these girls have been indulged, then everyone needs to put their “big person pants” on and have a discussion about how “cutting back” will help fund college. </p>
<p>I don’t think the grands should be depended on for college. Anything could annoy them and then they may cut D1 off with no notice. Plus, I don’t like indulging a situation where favoritism is being displayed. </p>
<p>I do wonder why the grands seem to dislike the younger Ds. That seems weird to me. They’re from the same family.</p>