<p>I have pointed out to my son on a number of occasions that his socks don’t match. His response is usually to roll his eyes and tell me that he can’t imagine why anyone would possibly care about that. Perhaps it’s just as well that he’s not interested in women.</p>
<p>At least at the age of 20 he seems finally to have gotten out of the habit of walking around with his shoelaces tied so insecurely that they come undone every ten minutes. </p>
<p>And he does seem to care about what he’s wearing a lot more than he used to.</p>
<p>But he’s apparently adamant about the sock issue.</p>
<p>*At least at the age of 20 he seems finally to have gotten out of the habit of walking around with his shoelaces tied so insecurely that they come undone every ten minutes. *</p>
<p>I dont know how I do it- but even when I tie double knots I step on my other foot in a way that it unties my shoelaces. I also don’t wear socks that match, but usually it doesn’t matter. I try and get lots of sports socks for example that are identical- ( but they come out of the wash looking different) , but except for tights or boot socks when it is cold, I don’t wear socks often. H doesn’t notice.</p>
<p>I agree though that in general men are more visual- but about the " total" package + they can get distracted . ;)</p>
<p>For instance- I had a boyfriend - who was always after me to do my nails.
I didn’t * like* “done”, nails. I couldn’t seem to keep polish on & while I * tried* to keep my hands clean and my nails filed- I often bit my nails + I was always working with them.</p>
<p>My H barely notices my hands or at least he doesn’t say anything( I don’t bite my nails anymore ), and I still don’t like nail polish.</p>
<p>It’s true that with online dating good writing skills are a must. Thinking back, my husband didn’t even write me a single love letter before we were married. I’m not sure he would have been able to pull together a profile that attracted me.</p>
<p>“It’s true that with online dating good writing skills are a must.”</p>
<p>They’re nice, but they’re not a must. What is a must is (1) good pictures and (2) either good writing skills or enough awareness that you don’t have good writing skills to seek help.</p>
<p>I don’t respond to people with spelling mistakes in their profiles. I’m perfectly happy to date one of the many smart people who can’t spell. But smart people who can’t spell know that they can’t do it, and that it matters, so they use spell check and ask a good speller to proofread. If you’re unaware that you can’t spell, or if you think that spelling is irrelevant, then we’re not a match.</p>
<p>I don’t think good writing skills are always necessary. Back in that other lifetime, in that New York Magazine ad in 1986 (there were no photos with the ads then; I have no idea what they do now), all I basically had to do was say that I was a single, 31-year old Jewish lawyer with degrees from Yale and Harvard, and despite mentioning that I was short (but neither fat nor bald), I probably got about 75-100 letters in response. For a period of several months, I was simultaneously dating four of the people who’d written to me (it was quite stressful, actually – I didn’t have that much experience dating one person, let alone four!), and then I fell in love with one of them, who became my former spouse. </p>
<p>Of course, if I’d been able to stay what I once was, I probably could have gotten remarried a number of times over in the last ten years since my ex and I separated. But I couldn’t and didn’t, and knew perfectly well that by taking the path I did I was going from being someone who could be viewed as a possible match by lots of people, to someone in a category that’s considered entirely beyond the pale by 999 out of 1000 people, whether male or female – assuming, of course, that I disclosed my history. It would be tempting not to, but I suppose I probably would, at least if I saw someone more than once or twice. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about explaining to someone why I can’t have children, an issue some of my much younger friends face.</p>
<p>In any event, doing what I did was far more important than whatever I gave up. Much better to be myself, even by myself, than to be with someone as someone I’m not. That would be the “deception,” not being who I am now. (I know I should just ignore what that person said, but I wasn’t expecting it and was sort of floored by it. I’m sensitive to that kind of personal attack; what can I say?)</p>
<p>I don’t think that anyone here is young enough to do that.</p>
<p>Firefox has built-in spell-checking. Maybe Chrome, Safari and Internet Explorer do too. The browser highlights words that maybe a problem so that you have to knowingly ignore your highlighted errors (potentially) in addition to making them.</p>
<p>Microsoft Word has a grammar-checker too. I’d love that feature in web browsers too.</p>
<p>Does anyone else thinnk pictures online often look little like the person? People with bad teeth never smile in them! Those with a spare tire don’t show it and animation is everything.</p>
<p>I’ve also had several men tell me I was unusual in having pitures that actually look like me. Seems so silly to have pics that don’t look like you–not sure why people would rather be rejected after a meeting than just passed over online.</p>
<p>Yes, apparently women with picture that look like them are rare. I get that a lot too. However, most the men I dated either looked exactly like their picture, or much better. I’m thinking they just don’t know how to chose pictures. (Which brings us full circle to the “don’t know how to dress” thing.) And I’m not sure the protocol for picking ages, as I just put in my real age, and that tends to confuse the guys also. There must be some sort of algorithm for putting in an age. Something like if real age is X, put in .92X. Meanwhile, I keep getting emails from “younger” guys that end up being slightly older than me.</p>
<p>Animation? What do you mean? Do people make their pictures move? Or is it like Disney animation? Does this mean you also have to have super-duper computer skills, in addition to writing or marketing skills, in order to date in the 21st century? </p>
<p>Do any of you have kids who use online services? If so, what age are they? I don’t think my twentysomethings would be caught dead looking for dates that way at this point in their lives. In fact, when a younger guy had a crush on my daughter’s fiftysomething aunt from an online matchmaking service and said aunt asked if she could pass him along to DD, it was practically a life crisis for my daughter. She wanted to know in what universe it was okay for her middle-aged aunt to suggest she take her online rejects as if DD will not be able to otherwise land a guy.</p>
<p>UCD, I’m a firm believer in dating younger men, women live longer:) Start choosing the 10 years younger ones to get one 5 years younger! I’ve actually only met one guy who lied about age to my knowledge. I get a lot of emails from guys asking if I’m into younger men. They are too young, I’m already a mom…</p>
<p>Regarding the women being the decorators-when I met my H, he was 35 and his decor included an Ohio license plate as wall art, and sheets hung from the curtain rod above his patio door. Well, not really hung–they were draped over the rod. That was the extent of decorating. Now, he gets mad if I don’t ask him before doing something in the house–new curtains, bedspread, etc. Please…I think he already proved his ineptness :)</p>
<p>Dressing–every day for 16 years he asks me, “Does this match?” Well…he wears Dockers every day, 80% of which are khaki color, the rest gray or olive. Sweaters 10 months of the year–90% of which are blue, no pattern, no stripe. How could he possibly not match? It’s like dressing a 3 year old in Garanimals!!</p>
<p>He does have no regard for whether a sock is turned inside out. “No one notices.” Well, I bet every women in the office notices. It looks pretty lazy to me. He’s 6’1" and thin; everything looks good on him. If only he could “get” the socks…</p>
<p>Hmm, Garanimals for adults… I think you are onto something, sryrstress!</p>
<p>I am divorced for a few years now, and have contemplated online dating. But honestly… I am so darned busy, I am not sure where I would fit dating in at the moment. Maybe once D2 is off at college in a couple of years. I did meet an attractive and apparently single guy a few weeks ago. He was the psychologist we hired to do some testing for D2. I suppose there is some ethical issue with dating parents of “patients”, though, even though he only saw her for a few hours.</p>
<p>mimk6, Plenty of younger people (20s and 30s) use online dating, just not the online services you’d use. I get Time Out New York and this week’s issues is all dating ads for people in their 20s. Maybe it’s more of a city phenomenon? Sometimes I look at them (the photos), just for fun to imagine if I could date any of them, but there aren’t many that would make me want to make the leap. Redroses, what do you look for in an online ad? Looks? A particular smile? Or is it the bio?</p>
<p>“Does anyone else thinnk pictures online often look little like the person? People with bad teeth never smile in them! Those with a spare tire don’t show it and animation is everything.”</p>
<p>Look for someone with multiple pictures taken in different settings. One picture is not OK. It’s much harder to maintain a fake or outdated look across a variety of pictures.</p>
<p>Mousegray, while I’ll admit looks, in the end looks do play a roll, they play less of one than they would have in my youth. I’m looking for an intellectual peer, someone with an interesting job I’ll want to hear about evenings, someone who shares some of my passions and sounds like a solid citizen.</p>
<p>Whoa. This thread attracted the weirdest ad - some dating service. There is a picture of a very malnourished-looking female in ripped jeans covering her naked breasts with her arms next to this thread. :eek:</p>
, but except for tights or boot socks when it is cold, I don’t wear socks often. H doesn’t notice.</p>
), and I still don’t like nail polish.</p>