I mean I say 
.
Focus on developing yourself, your life blueprint/skills, your relationships with PEOPLE.
If you want to date and find a person wanting to do the same, fine. There is a lot of life lessons in simply friendship among all genders.
18-22 year olds in college are being asked to learn to take care of themselves, gain employable skills, be part of a community, etc. Seems enough on a plate to me.
I wonder how many husbands and wives text each other across the house vs. talking?
I’m a talker and my wife and daughter get mad - I was talking to a waiter the other day about bitcoin after leaving breakfast and they’re like, why must you talk to everyone?
I’m like - people are interesting and it’s nice to look up and at someone in the eyes.
They think talking to people is weird. And yet that’s what I do for a living…
If people can’t talk (to date) - and just text and that’s what my nephew does - his talking is texting and he gets mad if the girl doesn’t respond quickly and is quickly done with her…how is that living.
In many ways technology has wrecked us.
My daughter met her girlfriend right after she transferred schools. Many of her friends are in relationships, too. I haven’t heard much talk of online dating.
When I’ve talked to my son about meeting girls at college, I’ve suggested he talk to people in the dining hall… he was baffled I would suggest such a thing. 
Apparently there is an understanding in the dining hall that everyone eats alone while on their phones. It would apparently be “creepy” to try to spark up a conversation with someone. I’m not sure how to make sense of that.
Any chance your daughter lives near Blacksburg, VA? My son is 2 years out of Purdue, working at an engineering firm in Blacksburg, and is currently unattached (to my knowledge); he’s not a bad kid, if I do say so myself. Maybe we can make this happen. 
I think my son would be baffled by that too! He sees the dining hall as just a place to run in and grab food for consumption as quickly as possible before he rushes off to the next thing…
I asked how he has been meeting girls at college. From what I could gather, it sounds like the main ways have been
My son doesn’t talk to people in class either! He is in a club where he socializes, but says he hasn’t met anyone yet that he has a spark with.
When my daughter was an undergraduate, she was in a sorority and I gather that most of her social interactions were with her sorority sisters and the occasional male friend in group outings; not really much one-on-one dating on her part (although some of her sorority sisters did have steady boyfriends). When she graduated and took a job, she got involved in a dating sense via some dating app based on geographic proximity – Hinge? Bumble? I don’t exactly know; but I guess that it worked, because she is now engaged to someone whom she met on whatever dating app she used.
My one son has never dated - he graduated college last year. I don’t let it concern me. He’s happy.
My younger son met his boyfriend in college beginning of freshman year. They are still together.
Students at my daughter’s college date through Hinge. Many of them have it set so that they will only see potential dates who are students at the same college. I don’t understand it. Why would you turn to a digital corporation, reducing people to a photo/blurb when you could meet people organically in class, the dining hall, the quad, the ice cream shop…?
With dating apps, there’s no chemistry, rapport first. You choose and meet this person in a vacuum, never having seen them interact with friends, professors, or you. It seems like such a waste of time when you could be out in the world meeting real people and getting a sense for who you might want to date. When I was in college a million years ago (90s) we used to introduce people to each other all the time. I met people through my roommates, intramural teammates, my major, even through ex-boyfriends.
I think it’s probably good that it’s no big deal to bring a friend to a sorority dance or “date party,” but if you never take a date, you’re missing a lot of chances for an easy first date with someone who catches your fancy. We used to spend weeks figuring out who we would ask and setting each other up. For my daughter’s sorority, this is simply not done.
One of the worst places to date seems to be a place I always thought would be ideal—NYC. Based on the post-grads we know who live there, people just don’t ask each other out in person, it’s all on dating apps. This is not great because it’s a huge city, and you can waste all your time just trying to figure out how and where to get together. Of course, you know essentially nothing about this person, not even how they treat their co-workers or whether they have a sense of humor. It’s also super easy for people to ghost each other because they aren’t in a community together so there are no consequences for the ghoster.
I’m hoping that young people will eventually rebel against dating apps, especially since (at least in NYC) many of them pay $100 a month for access to “better” profiles. I’m sure there are people who meet other ways, but my kids are telling me dating apps are 95% of it, at least for women at liberal arts schools and in big cities. D21 has a wide circle of lovely friends. Only one met their significant other IRL. The rest of them either don’t date, or date online. I took for granted how easy we had it as far as hitting it off IRL with someone who was a potential boy/girlfriend!
My D had two boyfriends in college. One she met in class/study group. The other, who she is still with, through a club. She did try online dating when she was away on coop (prior to the boyfriends) and had a couple of dates to coffee shops but they never went beyond the first date. Most of her friends are in relationships too. The majority of her friends met in class or in an activity/club.
My sister (in her 50s) had great success on Bumble, had a lot of fun dating different guys, and eventually met the best guy ever. They are now talking about getting married. I am so happy for her! Previous to trying Bumble she was having a lot of trouble meeting suitable guys (and she really did a lot of putting herself out there at classes, events, parties, etc). So I’m glad Bumble exists.
BUT… I am not sure that dating apps are so appropriate for COLLEGE STUDENTS who are constantly around other students at school. I think college students ought to be starting actual conversations and talking to each other in person. This is important for making friendships and academic/business contacts, as well as dating!
I don’t think that’s the norm everywhere.
My daughter (30) was just telling me a story of how one of her friends met his new girlfriend on a NYC subway train. So I guess chance meetings can and do still happen. Many of her friends have used dating apps.
We watched a train meeting after a baseball game last summer! The two young people exchanged contact information and made plans to meet up at Starbucks ; ). They were gabbing away about their schools and ended up knowing someone in common. It was nice to see!
I think when kids take their noses out of their phones and are open to talking to people around them, things can happen ; ).
And one of my D’s red flags when we were touring schools was if everyone was eating in the dining hall alone ; )
My D20 has not had a boyfriend since senior year of high school. Of course, it doesn’t help that she attends an all-women’s college, but she doesn’t seem to have trouble meeting men in her city. She has had tons of first and second dates that go no further. She is pretty particular about what she seeks in a partner and it seems she hasn’t found it yet. She would like to have a relationship, but I don’t see her being willing to compromise on what she wants, at this point anyway.
My D24, on the other hand, is a bit boy crazy.
This is at Berkeley on the stem-y side of campus.
When I was walking UF, I looked inside the dining hall. It was this. I looked in part because my daughter complained about her school - also this. And then at UF right off campus at private eateries - also this.
I think it’s prevalent…kids are taking their studies seriously…but yes, missing out on life.
My kids have never used a dating app. My oldest is getting married in a few months to a woman who walked up to him in a bar and started talking to him, another was introduced to his gf through a mutual friend and daughter met her bf in college through an EC. Most of their friends have met their people the same way.
College is a great time/place to meet someone; doubtful you’ll ever be around that many single people in your age group. DH and I met at work- doubtful that would happen now with so much remote work.
Back in the day I know many people that met on a blind date- doesn’t seem like it is common anymore to set people up.
Maybe it was time of day or things have changed a bit. Dining halls at UF when son was there were a constant chat fest.