The problem is that many who would consider adoption think it’s easy to adopt a newborn which is what most persons prefer versus a school aged child or teen.
The reality is that newborn adoption situations are uncommon.
And adoption is very expensive.
We were lucky and fortunate to adopt newborns twice.
You wouldn’t believe how many people ask us how we made that happen and how our adoption attorney told us how rare indeed it was.
We are very fortunate. And thankful. 
You were indeed blessed twice!
The “problem” imo is that people are only willing to adopt newborns. So when I say adoption, I include many ages.
(Not trying to turn this into adoption talk but just that there are options to parent without pregnancy)
I believe my girls are educated in fertility and age but hope they DO NOT make dating/relationship decisions largely on that. If they are educated , then I would
Never prompt them to hurry up!
My grandmother always used to tell us girls, “Don’t marry for sex! Don’t marry for babies! Take your time!”
When she was in her 90s and starting to be a bit out of it, she started telling this to my sister again (who was already in perimenopause 
)
My husband and I are from different countries in Europe, and many, many people wait until the 30’s before starting a family - most of my friends did. I was 35 when I had my daughter and 38 when I had my son. I enjoyed a wonderful career consulting and traveling the world before I settled down. I wouldn’t trade it. I was able to fully embrace being a Mum in my late 30’s and believe I was a better mother because I waited. I want both my children to live life, work, travel before having kids. It doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom re fertility in your late 30’s.
Unfortunately, for many it is very difficult to conceive at that age. I have a friend who got pregnant accidentally at 47 years old after a divorce. It happens, but it’s not the norm. Statistically, fertility declines rapidly after the age of 35.
Thank you for all the replies, experiences and related topics. I think college is a wonderful time of growth, independence and learning for sure. I am all for each child following their path. She is completely capable of caring for herself emotionally and financially, but my D just happens to be very sure she wants to marry and have children and felt “duped” by my assurances “oh I am sure you will meet someone in college”…the reality at her school at least, is so few are dating in person, and online (in her location at least) is a meat market of hook up culture.
I was at a themed-topic dinner in college, and one of the questions was about our thoughts/plans RE: kids. I remember saying that it depended on what the extended family situation was like. If we lived near extended family who could watch the kids when they were young (like my sister had with her kids), then we would likely have some kids. If not, the plan was to adopt kids around age 4 or 5 so that they would be able to go to public pre-k/kindergarten. As I had seen what teacher salaries looked like in my home state and the progression for pay raises ($500/year of experience) and run budget simulations, I knew that daycare would be a big financial strain at no matter what age I had kids. Of course, this might relate more to what society needs to do to support women 18-35…
My son has been so bummed that his school has recently become more male centered (yes, he goes to a STEM/Engineering school). One of the plus factors for the school was that the male/female ratio was 55/45 the year he was applying… which was really good for a STEM school. But then they lost a private donor who financed a LOT of scholarships for women, and his class was something like 65/35 and the class after him was more like 70/30. Upshot of this being there just aren’t that many women around. Add to that a guy who was crazy busy with school and sports in HS so he didn’t date then and, well, you get a 20 year old who’d like to be dating but doesn’t have a huge pool and doesn’t have a lot of confidence for where to begin.
That said, I didn’t really date until I met my now DH, when i was 25 (on a blind date set-up, that I didn’t know was a set up, I thought I was just meeting friends and they were bringing other people too). So I’m hopeful he’ll get there at some point. There’s time to find the person to spend your life with, but a little practice with how to be a good partner can always help.
As a female engineering student, I didn’t exactly have guys knocking down the door, ha. I started dating one classmate when I was a college senior. Then DH came along the second semester of grad school and that was that! The first boyfriend got the boot. I will say it’s nice having a spouse in the same profession. It’s great working together. 
We actually did this in high school. It was funny I matched with a guy I had always had a crush on. Never worked out but it was a fun experiment.
My S23 is also studying engineering and male/female ratios were definitely something we considered. He did not want a school that was mostly dudes. So far, he’s had one entanglement but there are so many social opportunities organized by his college for people to meet.
Surprisingly, quite a few of his classmates entered college still in LTR with their high school boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s odd to me because it seems like people are closing themselves off from meeting others with whom they might be more compatible.
The people I dated in high school were nothing like my eventual spouse. People change and bringing a high school relationship into college hinders that evolution.
We wrote a match program in our computer class in high school back in the last 70s. I could see why I got matched with the guy I did!
Me too with my match. But in retrospect perhaps we were too much alike.
All 3 of my recent college grad’s roommates had steady boyfriends throughout most of college. Dating seemed super common at her college. Less so at my son’s.
So true–you know we have a female engineer there–more freshmen than expected seem to be in LTR (though I bet many of those will end by next year), and despite the plethora of guys from a female point of view, not many are making it obvious they might be interested in females. Pretty sure the females may not be making it obvious either. They are all very busy and many seem to have little experience in how to make interest known. There does seem to be plenty of coed socialization and fun in groups so maybe they will figure it out one day! I really do think some is covid-cohort missed social opportunities in HS. Maybe some is cultural shift: kids are so busy with classes/ ECs/weekend travel sports in HS that they do not have downtime to date before college as much they did 25 or even 10 yrs ago.
You don’t know me or my kid, but i think you just hit the nail on the head. In HS he missed his whole junior year and half of sophomore year. He was involved in an intensive sport that took a ton of time all year, and had to work hard to maintain grades. In addition to missing a lot of opportunity time, there was no dating time in HS and he didn’t learn those skills. I honestly think he may not know how to go about dating and letting people know he’s interested in them. Hopefully by doing more activities and meeting more people, he’ll get that figured out at some point…
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