<p>cptofthehouse: You’re probably right. </p>
<p>It’s just beyond my understanding!</p>
<p>Well, latetoschool, I find your suggestion that we are envious extremely presumptuous and offensive. Like kluge, I could but wouldn’t. Enough said on that subject.</p>
<p>Latetoschool–to me, it is a values question. I do think that this kind of conspicuous consumption is a statement of values I don’t hold, don’t condone, and think are damaging to society as a whole.</p>
<p>Just like-not to beat a dying horse–many also think the values demonstrated by what the Duke Lacrosse players have demonstrably done (not the case itself) also are values I don’t hold, don’t condone, and think are damaging to society as a whole.</p>
<p>I’m puzzled why you are so sure that those who disapprove would secretly like to be able to hold the same kinds of events, or why you are thrilled that some people are able to (as you keep saying). It sounds like you are the one who is envious, but for the life of me, I just can’t imagine why. What about this kind of life is attractive? (I’m not trying to be facetious; i really don’t get it.)</p>
<p>Thank you, garland. You said it better than I. </p>
<p>I also don’t get your point, lts, re the Duke lax mess being “relevant” because our kids are in college or could be in college, but the Leslie extravaganza is “irrelevant” why? Our kids are or were in high school or could be in high school. So why aren’t the two equally relevant and open to our review of what it says about values, some elements of society, etc.</p>
<p>latetoschool,</p>
<p>As to “that crowd” and “these types” do I need to spell it out? They are the pretentious, self-indulgent ones who feel the need to rub your face in it.</p>
<p>I can deal with the first 2 items, but do I need to see it in 36 point headlines on the front page of the section that is at the front of 1/2 of my Sunday paper?</p>
<p>Jealous? Hardly! Why would I want to set my daughter up to be wondering if the people like me for who I am or they type of party my mom throws? Why would I want to be so insecure that I need spend stupid dollars and draw media attention for my daughter’s birthday party?</p>
<p>And if you didn’t figure it out from my earlier post, I do spend my money so that hopefully my daughter will be educated enough to earn a good living, but have her grounded enough hopefully to understand the value of money.</p>
<p>Garland, it’s not even slightly attractive, or interesting - to me. My idea of a good time is to curl up with a good book, and, if I want to get really wild and crazy? I’ll have a plate of double-stuffed oreos and a glass of the 1% milk to go with the good book, and, I’ll turn off all the phones. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t throw such a party, even if I had the resources: I do not view it as an apprpriate use of time OR money, and, in any case, my child has the goofy luck of being born just days after Christmas, so, she’s been receiving very low key sort of birthday acknowledgement for years, as we’re all too tired to pull off one more celebration. She has never expressed any compliant or sense of deprivation though so I think we’re probably good. </p>
<p>The problem I have with this is that people should have the right to earn or generate as much money as they wish or can, within legal means, and they should have the right to spend it or use it as they wish. I do not see how this damages society in any way, and in fact, I find it invigorating and encouraging. It’s a sign that at least one family is doing well, and, if there’s one family, there must be more. The party itself is not attractive; what is attractive - or at least non-offensive - is the evidence of high earnings, the expression of freedom of choice, and, in general, the right to do what one wishes with one’s resources, as long as no laws are broken. </p>
<p>I’m not trying to be facetious or argumentative either, I just really, seriously, don’t get why this bothers anyone else. I don’t see where this family intruded on the rights of anyone else; in fact, they appeared to have served up a good time to some 80 persons, plus pumped some cash into the economy. And unless I missed something or perhaps it hasn’t been reported yet, they didn’t steal the funds to finance the party, they didn’t stiff any vendors to the party, they didn’t serve alcohol or drugs, and no laws were broken. I, too, really just don’t get it.</p>
<p>As to issues of charity, again, unless there’s a news report out there somewhere I missed, this family may very well give time and/or money to charity in equal measure. Maybe they don’t, maybe they’re horrible people who mistakenly believe they’re entitled to enjoy the proceeds from their own labor in any legal manner they wish (gasp!!!), but, we don’t really know, do we?</p>
<p>Goaliedad, I’m not trying to be dense, but, how exactly did this family attempt to rub anyone’s face in it? Did they call up your house? Knock on your door? Hold the party in the street in front of your residence? Send a note saying “sorry, you’re not invited, but we’re going to have a great time”? </p>
<p>Isn’t your argument more with your newspaper’s managing editor’s, and, if so, is your value system on such fragile ground that whatever shows up in headlines is going to degrade it? </p>
<p>Should people move to pass local ordinances that legislate that anyone who wants to throw a party for their child must first have the venue, menu, entertainment, gifts, and total budget approved by the entire community before commencing?</p>
<p>lealdragon, Thanks. Don’t let this turn you off from making money. You’ll know what to do with your money!</p>
<p>lts, if this is not interesting to you, why are you here? </p>
<p>Of course, these people have the right to earn, inherit or borrow as much money as they are able. And they have the right to spend it as they wish. And we have the right to find it interesting (which is why we are here; still can’t figure out why you are) and to comment on what it says about our society (some elements thereof) and how we judge it.</p>
<p>Do we have the “right” to judge? Depends on what you mean by judge. What I mean is that I draw conclusions about people from their behavior and their choices - not how they are born, not what they look like - but what they do. I have formed some judgements about these types of shindigs, as has everyone else on this thread. You included.</p>
<p>LTS, it’s curious that you are encouraged to see that there are, indeed, wealthy families around–like that is in question. Since it’s been well documented that, overall, wealth has been steadily flowing upward in our society, with much greater disparity between rich and poor, I’m not at all encouraged to see more evidence of it, but i’m also not surprised.</p>
<p>What I don’t get, and again, not being facetious, is why you think people being materially wealthy is a good thing.</p>
<p>I’m with Jmmom. Of course, people have the right to spend their money as they choose. And we have the right to think it’s stupid and declasse, and to comment in that vein. </p>
<p>Someone earlier mentioned that they wouldn’t like their sons to be involved with someone with these values, and I agree. For the record, most of my friends are upper income, and I can’t imagine any of them throwing a party remotely along these lines.</p>
<p>latetoschool,</p>
<p>What did they do to rub my face in it? If the mother had not contacted MTV or the newspaper, I’m sure it would have been a party just like any other party that I know nothing about.</p>
<p>And I’m pretty sure the newspaper and MTV don’t have people hanging around all over the place looking for these types of parties to break out.</p>
<p>So the mother was actively trying to get media attention. I assume she knows that other people besides her get the paper and turn on the TV. So SHE was the one making the effort to rub it in my face. Unfortunately, the newspaper chose to be the instrument of her ungracious behavior, for the same reason they give headlines to the nutcakes of the world - it sells.</p>
<p>I accidentally ran across the MTV show she contacted once while channel surfing and watched for a whole 30 seconds before I changed the channel, thinking that this was a big city thing. Unfortunately, for me, I was wrong.</p>
<p>Several of our local papers cover weddings and other social functions to which I was not invited. They also write lengthy articles in the Style section regarding new social trends including over-the-top b’day parties. I am not personally offended nor do I think this is a personal slap in the face. I can read or skip the article, just as I can view a television show, change the channel, or turn it off.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t characterize my reaction exactly as offended, more along the lines of embarassed (that I live in the same ZIP Code with these people of little class), and a bit disgusted by the very adult nature of the juvenile party, and a bit worried that there are other weak minded people in the area who think that this is normal behavior (see what press coverage of Columbine did for school shootings everywhere).</p>
<p>Public coverage of fancy weddings has been a mainstay of journalism forever. But they don’t do lap dances, simulated alcoholic beverage consumption, and other crass stuff at these weddings.</p>
<p>And yes, I can not read the article, not turn on the station, etc. but that doesn’t change the fact that it is one of the more talked about things this week around here, just like the 18-car pileup that everyone slows down to look at. However here, this gawking event was entirely avoidable, with a little self-control by the mother.</p>
<p>Perhaps if the event were within a couple miles of your home, and prominently covered in your Sunday paper about people your teenage daughter goes to school with you would feel differently.</p>
<p>
My feelings, too. I don’t mind – in fact, I love – elaborate weddings. But I’ve never been to a wedding where there was a total lack of decorum. As I said earlier, I don’t care what these people do, but I reserve the right to think it’s bizarre.</p>
<p>I use to think that these reality TV shows were straight out of central casting. I didn’t really think there could actually be people like that! :(</p>
<p>goaliedad- I’m not gonna lie. When I saw the thread title, I envisioned an expensive party at a local “pay to play” sports bar (complete with all of the free video games you can play in 2 hours), dinner on the ho$t, and each child in attendance leaves with a parting gift nicer than the one that they sent. THESE annoy me. The party you described eludes all reason. My DD is rooming with a girl this year who grew up with excess described in your OP. I doubt the girl will be returning next semester…she has already dropped one class, never goes to the other 3, and recently changed her Thanksgiving flight home to the week BEFORE Thanksgiving…but hasn’t told her folks yet. Some things money can’t buy.</p>
<p>My niece’s room mate had her parents express mail her ice cream with dry ice. The postage alone was $60! The child was miserably homesick & crying. Hopefully she’s adjusted since.</p>
<p>For all of you who followed this thread back in 2006, here is an update.</p>
<p>As it appears to have turned out, the sweet 15 party looks to have been funded by embezzlement. See the attached story…</p>
<p>[High-flying</a> party mom Leslie Janous pleads in federal court Knoxville News Sentinel](<a href=“http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/feb/24/high-flying-party-mom-leslie-janous-pleads-federal/]High-flying”>http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/feb/24/high-flying-party-mom-leslie-janous-pleads-federal/)</p>
<p>I am still embarrassed to know that these type of people still give the area I live in a bad name. Now it isn’t just the lifestyle of the rich and shameless, but that of the rich, shameless and crooked…</p>
<p>I just saw an ad on TLC (I think - I can’t remember the name of the show) for a show about kids birthday party extravaganzas…like $30,000 for a kids party. Crazy!!!</p>
<p>If you want a laugh about one of these over the top situations, I have a story for you.</p>
<p>I did not let one of my sons get a driver’s license because he lacked the judgment and responsibility to be a driver. when he was in high school. So it was a shock when I saw him dashing up the hill to his school where I was looking for him, behind the wheel of a brand new shiny Ford Explorerer. He swore I was seeing things; looking so hard for him that I saw his face in the driver’s because he was in the library studying, and how could he drive anyways without a driver’s license? He nearly lost an ear on that one</p>
<p>A few weeks later I was at a mothers club meeting at the school when I heard a woman explaining why getting their daughter a brand new SUV for Christmas was for her safety since she was so responsible and a safe driver, so that they did not want her in someone else’s car that was less trustworthy. </p>
<p>I asked what car the daughter got. A green Ford Explorer, of course. I said that I hoped they had good insurance on it, and she replied that they did, but reiterated how responsible and careful the daughter was.</p>
<p>I introduced myself, and the woman was delighted to meet my son’s mother. He apparently spent a lot of time at this family’s house as the woman regularly found him there when she arrived home from worked, and he was always so polite and so appreciated the food she fed him. I thanked her for her hospitality out loud, and silently thanked her for giving my son use of a brand new, well insured car, her home, her food,…and her daughter.</p>