Yes, very stressful.
Totally right on the cleaning, Very Happy. I bought my current house partially because I like entertaining, and needed to have space for Thanksgiving for 14 or so. The new house won’t be as great, but I still can expand the dining room table for a distance. But…that cleaning does me in at times. I have needed for years to hire someone for cleaning, and do on occasion. I don’t always want to deal with the person who does the cleaning however, so postpone having her over.
Because of that cleaning, combined with some sheer laziness, I have not done a lot of entertaining for a few years aside from my two yearly parties. But had occasion to have brunch over here recently, which is rather easy. Strata, home baked coffee cake, cut up fruit, oj, and pan fried potatoes and vegetables of some sort. And…it is a shorter meal than dinner, which is not always bad…
My go to dinner dishes for company include jambalaya, chili (making two or three types with toppings tends to please) Thai curry, and squash lasagna. The other thing that makes it easy is living in a community of ex hippies, where we all tend to be casual and unassuming. Regardless, I have good things and put them out for guests, just because I like a pretty table.
I’ll be honest in that I don’t like dealing with picky eaters. They are much less likely to be invited>>>>>>>>
I agree but they are dear friends.
musicamusica, I had my mom and two of my sisters here visiting last week, and my sister looked in my cabinets and drawers and asked me to identify several gadgets.
@VaBluebird , have you been “entertained” by the couples you are having over? Are they Martha Stewart types that you feel you have to live up to? THAT would be stressful!
I get panicked about my house being perfect the first time I have someone over. After they have been here once or twice, for some reason I don’t worry about it anymore!
But, besides family, I don’t like entertaining. I like cooking, I love my house, I just DON’T like to have to “entertain”!
I think the key is to cook something you are comfortable with. And I like the idea of serving family style.
I used to get totally stressed out when we’d entertain. Dh is the cook of the family so it wasn’t the cooking; it was the prep of the house, the setting of the table, figuring out the flow and how to serve, etc. Also, what type of drinks (dh and I always drink the same thing so I’m not accustomed to having options) and, while dh cooks, he often doesn’t think of appetizers so, at the last minute, we’d realize we needed to offer our guests something right when they arrived.
Fortunately, over the years, it’s become much, much easier. I have 4-5 ways I like to decorate the table and everything I need, other than the actual flowers, I own now. I always have a variety of candles if I choose to go that route and I also have a few options for table linens and dinnerware. We’ve figured out the best way to serve, where, etc. and now I find it so much more enjoyable.
Trying a few different options and then buying (for me, on sale, Ikea, etc–doesn’t have to cost a whole lot) things so I’d have a few options that I knew would work well was what helped me become a less stressed entertainer.
We don’t have any extra room in our DR for a buffet. We do have a long table so, when we have 6 or fewer, I place a table runner along the width of the empty end of the table and place a pitcher of water and dishes of food there so I’m not constantly running to the kitchen or feeling the need to watch everyone’s plate to offer more since the food is readily accessible.
OP, I hope your dinner party goes well!
Regarding picky eaters…they are usually young people that I kindly refer to as chicken nuggeters.
But I have also dealt with vegetarians , lactose and gluten intolerant so I make a point to make something for everyone. And if they still can’t deal with the menu options, then they had better eat before they arrive 
Most of the major entertaining we do revolves around hosting both Rosh Hashonah and Passover seders. So with that there are obvious traditional meals that are served and items to be prepared or served that are part of the holiday ritual. Usually these gatherings are for 12 - 16 people ranging in age from 3 years to 70 plus. My dining room when can comfortably serve 16, beyond that it gets tricky. DH and I have these holidays down to a science in terms of how we can layout the tables and both of the d’s help a lot especially as younger d is an outstanding baker. More and more people are vegan or vegetarian so now there is more planning involved and there are people that will prepare various side dishes, fruit platter for dessert and so on. We do like to set a nice table in terms of dinnerware and tablecloths/napkins/flowers/placecards, etc. You don’t do it all the time, so when you do, do it right.
Wow, seating for 16! 
One table or more?
I like entertaining but prefer brunch or tea time with heavy appetizers.
My mom is very organized and can organize a dinner for 30 to 50 people without a 2nd thought.
Her home is always clean and when you walk in it looks like the carpets have just been vacuumed.
She has a set of chafing dishes. (the ones where you put the candles underneath)
For her the difficult part is the grocery shopping and hauling all the groceries from the car to the kitchen.
She doesn’t write anything down. All the planning is organized in her head. I wish I was like her but I’m not.
When I get stressed about entertaining I remember how fun it was when we were all young and just getting things together. One year when I was in grad school, a bunch of friends and I decided to have an Easter feast. The problem was, we had all forgotten it was Easter already and the grocery stores were all closed! Somehow, we found enough ingredients in our sparse refrigerators and at the local Wawa to make a sort of quiche. Someone also made black beans, which took forever. It was great fun! The important thing is being with people you are happy to be with and having it be a shared event.
If you have to have a perfect event for a perfect stranger, go to a perfect restaurant!
Yes, I’m kind of stressed about entertaining. We don’t do it very often, and when we do, we tend to ask the same friends and family over. These are people that we’re comfortable with, that we don’t have to scurry around and make sure everything is perfect for. They all seem very noncritical and always have a good time, even complimenting me on the food, so it must be okay. We have a really good house for entertaining, especially in the summer. It’s on the water, we take people out on the boat and sit on the dock or go in the hot tub. However, I really hate cleaning, don’t do a very good job at that, neither of us are too good at decorating, and since I hate shopping, most of our tableware is from Value Village. There is a significant difference between the house we live in, and how badly we have managed to furnish and decorate it, but I try not to think about it, or I’d never have anybody over! I get a lot of premade food from Whole Foods, and make sure there are way too many options, so everyone will find something to like.
But entertaining more than a few people, even friendly and noncritical people, can be difficult for me. I’d rather just enjoy myself then spend all the time working.
Entertaining got less stressed after years of practice…with one exception. Two years ago, we invited 2 couples over, one of which was new to neighborhood. The DAY before, the wife calls me to say that her H was allergic to spinach (my salad), didn’t eat fish (my salmon entree) and didn’t do dairy (cheese appetizer). Oh yeah, and she didn’t do white food (my risotto and dinner rolls)—which would have meant they would have been eating asparagus and water.
I panicked and changed menu…it all worked out…but they’ve only been asked to come for drinks since then…
I figured out the secret to “no-stress” entertaining 35+ years ago…I married a man who loves to cook and is good at it.
I actually enjoy entertaining, but I guess I don’t think of it as that. It’s just having friends over to eat.
I’ve done a lot more of it since we remodeled our kitchen (after college was paid for). It’s so easy to cook now that everything has its place and there is plenty of space for company to hang out. I’m kind of an inconsistent cook also because I like to try new things. I usually experiment on my Dh and use the winners or tried and true for company.
For me, the secret is not trying to make everything myself. If I’m serving a complex main course, I’ll have simply prepared vegetables and buy a yummy gelato and/or fresh fruit for dessert. I’ll pick up interesting cheeses or a prepared dip for appetizers and good wine. I don’t try to impress with my culinary skills- just have tasty food that works well together and leave everyone feeling satisfied, but not stuffed.
I’ve had a regular housekeeper since my kids were young so I don’t really think about the house when having people over. I just bring in fresh flowers. I would give up a lot of things before giving up having my house cleaned at least every two weeks! I’ve become a minimalist as far as decor, so clutter is rarely an issue. For those of you who don’t entertain because you have to clean your house first…it’s well worth the expense to get someone in for the occasion and save your energy for cooking and enjoying your friends. I have found that our friends seem closer somehow once we’ve had them over for dinner. A restaurant is not as personal or special, imo.
@fallgirl, that was me, too! Husband was the cook with foodie friends who also liked to cook. For about 10 years, we had an open house/ salon EVERY SINGLE Friday night with 6-10 regulars. My ex- would have entertained even more than that if he could. One thing that I found is that people generally like being involved in the kitchen. I have to say every week was really too much for me at the time but I do miss a lot of things about it.
I thought of myself as a regular, experienced entertainer. Then we got divorced and I was on my own. Our regular guests were more his friends than my friends (even though I considered them some of my best friends). It was very sad to think of them continuing the tradition wothout me. 
(Though I don’t know if they actually kept it up because a big part of the draw was our house which was a great, laid back beach house. His cramped condo stuffed with all his stuff is not as much of a draw).
It was really scary to try and entertain on my own but I forced myself to do it. I try to entertain regularly but I most often go for take-out now because I’m not all that confident in my cooking skills by myself.
Sometimes I think it is rather amazing that many of us own such nice houses, yet as the years go by, share them, open them to fewer and fewer people and don’t entertain, preferring to meet people in restaurants, despite having access to easily prepared home meals. This is partially a comment on busy lifestyles, partially a comment on changing values. Maybe those magazines and stores have intimidated too many, as suggested above. When I think of my grandparents, rural folk, they rarely, if ever ate out. My kids and their friends, despite knowing how to cook, eat out all the time.
One friend who is good at gathering folks together gets take out for one of our groups of old friends.We choose from the menu, and then pay for the order at the end of the evening. We all bring wine and other drinks or dessert. Then we can relax in her home, with more conversational freedom and time than in a restaurant.
I was always stressed about entertaining, as my mom was so good at it. I still haven’t hosted a Bookclub as I haven’t decluttered my family room. I’m fine with close friends and family.
In my younger, coupled years, I enjoyed it. My sons dad would call me sometime on Friday, ask if so and so couples could come for dinner. He’d call back to find out where he should pick up the food. On the way home, I’d stop by market for the extras.
I use a few tricks. I make a basic romaine salad, but pick up toppings at Whole Foods.
If I’m making a fruit salad for <8 people, I pick up prepared salad at the market. I cut their big pieces and add berries.
This thread is so timely! I love to entertain and have had a standing New Years Day party for anywhere from 15-50 for about 20 years now. Our house has a perfect floor plan for lots of people and it’s nothing for me to do a holiday dinner for 18, but this year I think I’ve met my match. I am heading for a river cruise with my mom next Tuesday, returning on April 21. The next night I am hosting a sedar for the first night of passover for a group that has now grown to 26. The table plan has now kept me up two nights in a row. My original plan was to flip the dining room and living room and rent round tables. However, the best part of the holiday, for me, is being around one table, no matter how bizarrely shaped. And, I don’t want to carry bowls of matzah ball soup through the house. So, I think I’ve figured a way to make my dining table, which can seat 14 comfortably, and two folding tables, into a U that can seat 26. The food is never a problem, I’ve already made and frozen most of it…tables and chairs, that’s what’s keeping me up at night!
We don’t socialize at all. My husband feels deep down needing friends is a sign of weakness.