<p>My kids’ friends who weren’t Jewish all wanted to come to the service- and they were all invited to everything. They were curious and so were their parents. My kids attended their friends’ First Communions and Confirmations. It really comes down to friends sharing these special milestones with each other. </p>
<p>The range of observance of any religion is really broad. Some people would not be comfortable with pork or no kippas, for others, that is their choice. Families celebrate in all kinds of ways. </p>
<p>If the guests keep a certain level of Kosher, they would probably not eat any of the meat since even beef and chicken has to be prepared according to Kosher laws. Some guests might be vegan/vegetarian too. As long as they have non meat choices and are OK with that, then they can choose what they want. </p>
<p>“Ahh, the story of the bbq. Yes, we broke every rule of kosher. This was what my son wanted…and this was what he got. We also had a complete vegetarian buffet as well.”
:)</p>
<p>"My MIL had ham steak off the bone on the menu at my rehearsal dinner. My family is all like Bevhills so several were thrilled there was another choice besides chicken.</p>
<p>We also served melon wrapped with prosciutto for first course at the reception."</p>
<p>I think people should serve whatever they want. I am surprised by how many Jews are serving pork. I don’t like pork. :)</p>
<p>I don’t like that people are not rsvping. I am going to be curious to see if anybody showed up to the wedding reception without reservations. Anybody else have people show up without reserving a place? </p>
<p>All of my sons’ friends, whether Jewish or not, were invited to their bar mitzvah services as well as the reception. We provided a bus to get them from temple to the reception so parents didn’t need to pick them up and drive them from temple to reception. That was common amongst their Jewish peers.</p>
<p>LOL, jym. I kinda figured you meant lox and that it was an auto correct flub.</p>
<p>“I don’t like that people are not rsvping. I am going to be curious to see if anybody showed up to the wedding reception without reservations. Anybody else have people show up without reserving a place?”</p>
<p>Not a wedding or bar/bat mitzvah but my sister and BIL 4 kids threw a big party for their 60th birthday and sent online invites. Apparently some people don’t understand that when it asks how many are attending you are supposed to put in the exact number, not just ‘1’. The count was 48 but 85 showed up. Fortunately there was just enough food so no one went hungry but I was surprised when I went for seconds and there were none. One kid’s H is a marvelous chef (it’s his profession) and I was really looking forward to more. I had no idea until after the party about more people coming then was expected. </p>
<p>My wedding invitations did not even include RSVP cards. One was expected to write a personal note accepting or declining. My MIL was very nervous that their side would not understand what to do. Someone must have explained because they all rsvp’d and no one came without having done so. </p>
<p>Mds and dil had BBQ. The man came the night before to start it. Brisket and pork. Our guests raved about it. We were very pleased, it was soooooo good. Good times.</p>
<p>Now I want steak! Or bbq ribs. Unfortunately, tonight we are hosting some friends who would only eat chicken or salmon, so cedar-planked salmon is what’s for dinner.</p>
<p>Can’t wait to hear the complete report from ellebud! :)</p>
<p>Poetgrl, I am with you. I was nor. and raised Catholic (16 years of Catholic school!) But am married to a (secular) Jewish man. I have 6 younger siblings all still very Catholic. At every wedding I was uncomfortable at communion time as I was not married “in the church” so clearly not in a state of grace! I felt every single pair of eyes looking at me (not true, I know!) when I (and hubby) did not line up to receive. Very awkward, at a ceremony that should be joyous.</p>
<p>Thanks to this thread, I’m going to make St Louis BBQ ribs for Labor day and corns on the cob. Gluten free tiramisu is going to be one of the desserts. My kids said I do my best work on the grill! :D</p>
<p>For our weddings and other events with over 100 guests, we always figure we will have to call those who didn’t RSVP, since there are generally a significant number. We had one guest that we invited 2 and they said 14 were coming! The rest generally accepted the number that was invited, less or declined to come. We always expect to have to call “stragglers,” but try not to be stragglers ourselves. I consider it very rude.</p>
<p>It was a distant relative on H’s side, so his family said, “OK,” and graciously let them come. I think they all chipped in and bought a $50 gift between all of them! It was pretty rude, we thought and they were only invited because my MIL & FIL were trying to be polite. We have not had uninvited stragglers come but once we had 2 people who had responded they were NOT attending come to the reception. We found seats for them and pretended that they had been expected but it was a surprise.</p>
<p>Yes, I believe most of us who have served food (and beverages) pay per person and are not happy when we are surprised by rudesbys who decided to add more people to the RSVP than were invited. I guess we were relieved that at least they put the information on the RSVP instead of just showing up.</p>
<p>Even ruder are those who say they are coming and then don’t show. We went to a reception where many, many of the tables were only partly filled and they were paying for full tables–Chinese 7 course banquets! It made me sad to see so much waste! </p>
<p>The reason we call folks when we have large gatherings is that we ARE paying $40-100+ per person and want to have a confirmed count, even though we understand if at the last minute someone gets ill or somehow is unable to attend. At least we are able to get a fairly firm headcount.</p>