<p>“But every once in a while, she’ll do something that lets me know there’s a beating heart inside. For example, she knew that H had been out of town since last Saturday and she called tonight and said, “Mom, are you feeling lonely at home without Dad?” For most other parents, that would be no big deal. But for those of us with children who seldom display empathy, a call like that is a real gift”</p>
<p>Yes. That kind of gift can last for years, if necessary. Most people would say, so what’s the big deal? But I’ll bet many people on this thread know exactly what you’re talking about. "</p>
<p>Jumping in to say that I totally get this. I am an INTJ, and part of being an INTJ is that you just … spend a lot of time in your own head, naturally. So if a kid is busy at college, he may just forget to ask, “So how are you, mom? How’s grandmom? How’s the family? What’s new?” Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love mom, grandmom, etc. It’s just part of how they are wired. </p>
<p>I have one child who is ISTJ and one who is ISFJ or P (not sure) and the T vs F differences are simply there. One will ask how we are and it’s more “checking off the box”; the other genuinely thinks about it. It’s ok, though. People are different.</p>