<p>gloworm, thank you for your wedding story. It was interesting to read!</p>
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<p>I agree when it comes to going into debt, but if someone can afford it … hey, it stimulates the economy to rent a hotel room or banquet hall, serve a nice dinner, hire a band, calligrapher, florist, and the like. I have a girlfriend who is a florist in the Hamptons and does a lot of private events for celebrities in that area. Their “wasteful excess” is her meal ticket.</p>
<p>Glad you enjoyed it, alwaysamom. The happy couple got to enjoy a three week honeymoon, well deserved.</p>
<p>Karen,</p>
<p>S and DIL had known each other for five years. Although we had met her when visitng him and them coming to stay with us, I think Skype was really a way we felt we got to know her. Is that possible for you?</p>
<p>When my niece married last Spring there was a big deal about the MOG dress. The bridesmaids wore street length bronze colored dresses that were fairly simple and could be used for future occasions. MOB (my sil) wore a really classy bone colored street lengthsleeveless dress with a matching embellished bolero jacket and some great sparkly shoes.
Before the wedding the word came to SIL that the MOG (who was not of friend or even friendly w/ SIL…they live in the same town and kids had been dating for six years) was planning to wear a full length form fitting strapless satin scarlet red dress. This woman is well-off, tall and thin and apparently sees herself as a fashionista and wanted to garner some attention. Someone (not SIL) told her that the red was not a good choice so MOG had it cut off to street length and wore it to the rehearsal dinner :eek: I was there and saw it…def. not appropriate. So SIL, trying to be helpful sent the MOG a picture of the dress she planned to wear and suggested something similiar for MOG. MOG replied back that she didn’t care what SIL was wearing and needed no advice on the subject!</p>
<p>On the wedding day, MOG strutted down the aisle (afternoon wedding) wearing a shiny
ice blue full length body hugging dress with some sort of metallic gizmo attached to the bodice from which two pieces of the fabric were attached and tied around the neck.<br>
Other than the bride, she was the only one in the church in a full length dress. It was ridiculous. My bro. and sil did not speak to MOG the whole wedding day.</p>
<p>Ouch. It seems harsh not to talk to her, even though she responded rudely to your SIL’s nice gesture, and even though she dressed inappropriately. When a marriage is just getting started, I’d be willing to overlook a lot. Even if she was deliberately trying to be irritating, which is … well, irritating. (Making conversation with her while pretending not to even notice what she was wearing would have bugged, no doubt. ;)) Jmo - no criticism intended. The poor groom probably has some harrowing tales to tell.</p>
<p>I don’t thnk a full length dress on a mature woman is necessarily inappropriate for an afternoon wedding, though her dress sounds like it was.</p>
<p>I know my son won’t be getting married in the foreseeable future–at the very least 3 more years. However, this thread is making me nervous about finding a dress.</p>
<p>Funny,sunnyholiday, It will probably be years for my 2 sons,too, but I have found myself thinking ahead too and feeling a little nervous about the whole thing (not just the dress!) after reading some of this.</p>
<p>All the comments about the wedding not being about the photos brings up my biggest wedding-related pet peeve.
IMO it is so rude, when the reception immediately follows the ceremony, for the wedding party to spend, in some cases, HOURS posing for photos elsewhere–while their guests hang out at the hall and wait for their arrival. (At one wedding the groom called the hall and asked the guests to go ahead and have dinner because the pictures were taking longer than expected. The wedding party arrived after everyone had finished eating! They sat down and ate their dinner, B &G danced one dance, cut the cake, did the bouquet toss and left without even greeting the guests!) What happened to taking a few photos in the church after the ceremony? Bride and groom, wedding party, his family, her family, girls, guys, and done. Shouldn’t take more than 15-20 minutes. Those who want an extended photo session should consider doing it before the ceremony(I realize some are superstitious about the groom seeing the dress) or start the reception later.<br>
Another photo-related pet peeve: I think members of the wedding party should be given at least one photo of the wedding party. Nothing ruder than never receiving a photo at all after spending hours posing–OR being directed to the website where you can purchase photos–when you already spent $$$ to travel and for clothes to be in a relative’s/best friend’s wedding.</p>
<p>Years ago I heard Cokie Roberts talking about wanting to look great for her child’s wedding… i.e. be fit enough to show her arms!! I am just hoping my kids give me enough warning!</p>
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<p>I agree. It’s very easy to take a lot of the pictures ahead of time (all the women, all the men, bride with her family, groom with his family) and then just reserve the shots where bride and groom are together for afterwards so as to take up the least amount of time. Though personally I just saw my groom ahead of time and took all those pictures - what was the big deal? The first time he sees me in the dress is the first time, and really, I doubt many guys care all <em>that</em> much about the Moment of Seeing The Dress for the First Time. I think that’s a chick thing.</p>
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<p>Packmom: Maybe it’s just me, but that induces me to almost feel sorry for that MOG. There must be some scary stuff in her head. She tries to upstage her new DIL by showing up in a femme fatale dress? In the process, embarrassing her son, the groom? That’s kind of pitiful in my book.</p>
<p>atomom,</p>
<p>In our area the cocktail hour is just for that, the time to get pics done, we never expect the bridal party to attend.</p>
<p>They than seat everyone, close the doors and a few minutes later, introduce the party.</p>
<p>I agree that it was rude of the couple to not even make it to dinner and leave without making the rounds.</p>
<p>FWIW, in my church, the photographer is not allowed on the altar during the service, so for us, after the ceremony, we had to re-do certain shots, such as exchanging of the rings, and lighting the unity candle. We then went onto the traditional shots.</p>
<p>Here is my funny story, but it is also a pet peeve. The last wedding we went to they had all of their engagement pictures on the table. These were couple shots, beach was the backdrop, and there were some lovely ones, but as I looked around, the groom was seen in maybe 10% of the pics, the rest were all the bride. As a Mom of 2 boys, I thought that was insensitive to the grooms family. </p>
<p>3 weeks later I get the Thank you note, and it is a picture. The couple are hugging and because of height difference she is nestled in the nape of his neck. Beautiful picture of how much she is in love, and her face shows it, unfortunately, all you see of the groom is his neck and shoulders. She is my “unofficial” DD, her Mom is my BFF. I asked her Mom, point blank did they send this pic to everyone, or just your side? No, they sent it to everyone! So much for the groom!</p>
<p>robyrm2,</p>
<p>I agree about the arms, and right now because both my DS’s will be graduating next spring (college and HS), I have already started working on my arms. The way our DS is talking, I would expect he will follow Bullet and I, by getting engaged prior to him leaving for active duty as an AF officer, so I really need those arms in shape.</p>
<p>I am not concerned about MOG dresses, after watching what my Mom went through trying to find one, I will do what she did. She found an excellent seamstress and had it made for her. This dress was so classic, and she still has it, I might have it remade for me… pencil skirt right above the ankle, with an off the shoulder jacket that was cut into points to hide the tummy just at the hip line. Moire Taffeta. Afterall, if you are going to spend money on shoes, people should see the shoes.</p>
<p>Great idea to get the MOB/MOG dress made! Probably won’t even be more expensive than off-the-rack, you can have exactly what you want, and it will fit perfectly.</p>
<p>Another pet peeve, if you are going to go with programs, please realize that the church may be dark and that many of your guests don’t have 20/20 vision.</p>
<p>One wedding we went to the font was a 10, and they used their colors. Pale pink on ivory paper in a 10 pt font was hard to read in a candle lit church…and no I don’t wear glasses!</p>
<p>My other pet peeve, is if you decide to have an outdoor wedding, be aware of the heat for your guests that arrive 20 minutes prior as they sit in the sun. Also be aware that you maybe asking women to walk in heels in grass. If you are from an area where it is common to dress casually that is one thing, but if you are from an area that people are expected to dress up, that means heels for women. I have literally had my shoes stuck in the grass while my foot came out because it had rained that morning or the day before.</p>
<p>I found that many of the gowns made specifically as “mothers’ dresses” were really overdone - sequins AND ruching AND epaulets AND ruffles AND you name it. Here’s an example (and not all of them are too much: [Social</a> Occasion by Landa Mother of the Bride Dresses and Gowns for 2010](<a href=“christinagowns.com”>christinagowns.com)) Whereas the gowns on sites like Nordstroms and Dillards may be marketed as bridal attire for mothers, but they’re dresses that don’t scream MOB/MOG. I’m glad I ordered from Nordstroms instead of going to a bridal boutique and waiting 8-12 weeks for a dress that then needs alterations. Houses have been built in less time.</p>
<p>I have found the perfect dress for d’s wedding, by which I mean that it: 1. fits; and 2. has sleeves. Cap sleeves, but they still cover what I want covered.</p>
<p>Fun thread - here’s another take on matching MOB and MOG dresses:</p>
<p>My cousin was married 20 years ago. The bride announced that the wedding colors would be ivory and pale pink. Bridesmaids would wear pale pink. MOB and MOG could pick out their own dresses - in pale pink.</p>
<p>Fast forward to the actual wedding. The MOG - my aunt - arrives at the wedding with her pale pink dress. To her shock, dismay and embarrassment, the bride had changed the colors to ivory and pale blue - without telling her! The bridesmaids were in pale blue. The MOB was in pale blue. The bride had a pale blue sash around the waist of her ivory gown.</p>
<p>My aunt felt humiliated. We never really got an answer as to whether the change of color without telling her was an accident or a deliberate jab. But it set the tone for what has always been a very contentious mil/dil relationship. </p>
<p>For my own wedding - it was that 80’s dusty rose color! MOG and MOB had each picked out their own dress - shades of dusty rose were different but ok. They both were fine with just being asked to wear that general color.</p>
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<p>I think it’s pretty commonplace these days for people hosting outdoor events like that to have small water bottles on hand in coolers for guests. At least I’d do that if I were planning an outdoor wedding in the summer.</p>
<p>Who qualifies as “family” for family pictures?</p>