<p>D1 is maid of honor at a Jewish wedding in a year and a half, and is already planning her pre-wedding diet to lose weight, because she will be in all of the pictures taken under the chuppah!</p>
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<p>Ack!!! I went to a wedding this summer in a chapel on a small college campus (where the bride and groom had met). The chapel was on the second floor, and did NOT have A/C. This was during a spell of 90+ degree days. And yes, the wedding was at 4PM. I really, really wished they would’ve forgone the receiving line! I was surprised no one went down.</p>
<p>Some of the things that Chedva mentions you might see at a reform or secular Jewish wedding. such as throwing the bouquet - which I don’t particularly see as being religious in any way, just a harmless little custom that one could partake in or not. Similarly, I’ve seen (though I’m not a fan of) receiving lines.
Now, having sweet tables for dessert as opposed to just serving the wedding cake - that I think of as a “Jewish thing”!</p>
<p>Like something that was the height of fashion in 1986! Dusty rose, puffed shoulders, a deep V in the back, and a bow that cascaded down. Lace shoes dyed the same color. I gave them matching pink tourmaline necklaces, except for my sister (maid of honor) whose pink tourmaline necklace had little diamonds around it. Can we say dated?</p>
<p>Chedva, does machitonum really explicitly mean “my son’s/daughter’s in-laws”? I always took it to mean extended family in kind of a grand sweep - including son’s in-laws, but not necessarily referring to them specifically.</p>
<p>Re: “Most brides & grooms I’ve seen make sure that there are pictures of every table so there is a record of all the guests, and spend significant time with their guests at the reception” - Taking pictures of every table certainly isn’t a “Jewish thing.” That’s a photographer thing!</p>
Not the ones I’ve been to lately. A groomsman walks the MOG down the aisle, followed by the FOG. Another groomsman then seats the MOB. Then the wedding party enters, followed last by the FOB with the bride.</p>
<p>I too have never seen both parents walk the bride down the aisle at a Catholic wedding. The mother of the bride usually is the last to enter before the wedding party, and is walked down the aisle by a son (or if no son, one of the related ushers). </p>
<p>We had a receiving line, and I remember thinking “this was a really bad idea” in the middle of it. I wanted to spend time with all of my friends!</p>
<p>The decision as to who walks the bride down the aisle is really a personal one and we’ve seen all kinds of different choices. Two weddings we went to last year had both parents, and both weddings were in Catholic churches. It was the bride’s choice, though, and had nothing to do with the particular church. In fact, for one of them, the priest objected during the planning and the bride said that if he wouldn’t agree to it, she’d have to find another venue for the ceremony. It was important to her to have both her parents. He gave in, as he should have, in my opinion.</p>
<p>^^Re#127
Back in the day, I was married in a Catholic church and I had both parents walk me down the aisle. My mother was horrified that I was taking that singular honor away from my father and she tried to talk me out of it. I insisted that no one was ‘giving me away’, I was leaving one family to begin another. Dad told me for months how many times he was told that it was such a wonderful idea.</p>
<p>Even Catholic weddings have both parents walk the bride down the aisle. >></p>
<p>I have never seen this at a wedding in the last 49 years. The father also doesn’t “give away” the bride because of the sacramental aspects of the Catholic ceremony.</p>
<p>Another dusty rose wedding here (1983). Victorian lace blouses, burgundy cummerbund, dusty rose skirts. Mom wore floor-length burgundy, MIL wore knee-length pink and navy street dress. I let them decide what they wanted and didn’t get involved. </p>
<p>I am seeing the list of Qs and negotiations grow already…</p>
<p>I had a Jewish wedding (I concerted), and my Catholic parents walked me down the aisle. They liked this idea a great deal.</p>
<p>My husbands mother insisted on my husband walking her down the aisle/seating her at our wedding. Yes, her husband could have done it but she insisted on her son/my husband. I felt this odd, thinking I should be the only one to walk down the aisle with him that day…he didn’t want to upset her. Putting her feelings above mine on the day of our wedding should have given me a clue to how things were going to be…and are…twenty years later. You can say it’s shallow and petty. To me it wasn’t a color, or flower, it was symbolic. No matter, I have three boys of my own and have been taking notes for twenty years of what NOT to do when I’m a MIL.</p>
<p>Oh, add me to the list of bridesmaids that wore dusty rose…1988.</p>
<p>Dusty rose bridesmaids for me, too - 1982. </p>
<p>My daughter got married in June of 2010, and both of the groom’s parents escorted him down the aisle (after the groomsman/bridesmaid pairs) and then my husband and I both escorted my daughter down the aisle. This was a Catholic service (although no Mass).</p>
<p>After the ceremony, after the bride and groom turned and went down the aisle, I was escorted out by the groom’s father and my husband escorted the groom’s mother. Our celebrant suggested this as a symbol of the joining of the two families. It was a sweet moment and our guests appreciated the gesture.</p>
At our strictly secular wedding I walked down the aisle with both my parents, dh walked down with both his and both sets of parents gave us away. It’s one of the things we did that I still feel we got exactly right. :)</p>
<p>One of my ushers wore a dusty rose skirt. I wore dusty rose as a bridesmaid at my brother’s 1981 wedding. It was a two piece outfit. I wore the skirt again, but the top looked terrible on flat chested me.</p>
<p>Just to clarify, I would have had no problem with DHs mom & dad walking him down. That’s not what happened. My MIL had DH seat her (when FIL was there). She wanted to make a statement. I think having parents walk kids down together is sweet…the focus is on the bride and groom.</p>
<p>At my d’s upcoming wedding, her dad will walk her down the aisle. She asked if I wanted to do it with him, but I realized I’d rather watch the processional than be part of it. </p>
<p>Now the question is what to do with me during the processional. No sons. Five nephews (so how would I pick one?), none of whom is in the wedding party. Two brothers, one of whom will do a reading - but I don’t want to ask one to escort me and not the other. I’m perfectly capable of walking to my seat unattended, but what fun is that?</p>
<p>I was at a recent wedding where the MOG and MOB were escorted down the aisle by the groom’s father - I thought that was nice. My d’s future MIL is a widow, and she’d like to be escorted down the aisle by her other son, who is the best man. I think she’d enjoy that more if he escorted her alone, and I completely understand that. So we’re still mulling the possibilities. </p>
<p>The most fun wedding I’ve ever been to was the wedding of a Jewish coworker who wed her long time Catholic partner (although not “official marriage” by WA state laws - but who cared!). There were 2 priests officiating with lots of Jewish and Christian traditional stuff blended. Fun times! </p>
<p>This is what I overheard on the bus today. A lady was talking about her S’s upcoming wedding, and when asked about her dress, she replied, “I have short legs and I do not care. I will wear whatever I already have. I think my black dress will do. At this age, I do not care what I look like.” :eek: She did not look older than 60! Ladies, please do not give up on yourselves!!</p>
<p>OP: congratulations! Enjoy the occasion. You’ve been given LOTS of great advice.</p>