<p>insomniatic…run for the hills. we are outnumbered. 
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<p>In our home we have chosen to follow the letter of the law whether it suits us personally or not, and for that I refuse to feel badly about the labels “rigid” and “unrealistic”. I call it being a good citizen.</p>
<p>Darn…I said goodnight and really, really meant to stay out of this. Going to try harder this time. :-)</p>
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<p>I can care less who she opened for or what kind of event it was. That doesn’t give you the right to drink underage.</p>
<p>D was taken out to dinner and invited to the home of a university president. She was already a college graduate. Alcohol was served at the dinner I believe at the restaurant. While she was out of college, she wasn’t 21. </p>
<p>Simply put, she would not miss being part of events that she is a MEMBER of the event, or even the hired performer for the event, even if not 21. She could however, opt to not accept or order any alcohol. Missing the events is not appropriate in these situations. Sometimes she is the director. A director doesn’t miss the gathering of their cast members, even if the director is younger than the cast.</p>
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<p>I don’t feel bad at all what people call me. It just shows how immature some people are.</p>
<p>Have a goodnight!</p>
<p>insomniatic. you say it doesn’t give you the “right” to drink underage but the fact is, nobody serving asked her her age. As one of the entertainers (clearly Wyclef Jean and Tony Bennett were not carded, LOL), she had access to the open bar. She could CHOOSE not to drink. But nobody was disallowing her to, as an adult who was hired to entertain for this Congressman’s event.</p>
<p>Now, this Congressman is having some trouble with the law as I have read recently in the news…so…well, er…(not to do with alcohol, however)</p>
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<p>Different situation. She didn’t have to get carded to enter the restaurant.</p>
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<p>So if I walk out of the store with an item and they don’t ask me anything, then that is also fine?</p>
<p>insomniatic, I guess I just have “problem” kids who party all the time and get drunk and break all these laws and have gotten into trouble, etc. </p>
<p>Really, young man (I assume you are a young man?), I hope you are leading an exemplary life because to be honest with you, those who know both my kids in real life, consider them to be outstanding for their age. I’m not worried about my kids. They are mature beyond their years, have achieved highly for their ages, and are well respected for their professionalism, leadership, and level of responsibility. So, I guess my bad parenting skills lucked out considering how my kids have turned out. I am super proud of who they are and they have never caused a problem yet. So, you do what works for you and I’m fine with what my kids are doing and where they are in life.</p>
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<p>If you feel comfortable with your daughter breaking laws, then more power to you.</p>
<p>Thank you. Yes, I am indeed comfortable with young adults in or out of college (but past high school) who drink occasionally and responsibly. I am also realistic. They are not outliers. They are the norm for young adults in college (or college grads) when it comes to this particular issue. Please do not put words in my mouth about “breaking laws.” No, I hope they don’t break other laws. But having a drink once in a while or being where it is served, didn’t bother me during the college years and in their professional lives (which began before age 21). They are both over 21 now. They survived and I am thrilled with the choices they have made in their lives. And these choices are theirs to make. I do not grant permission when they are living independently. Prior to college, they would have had to have permission and were not granted it (never asked, as they never did it, and we were very strict in this regard and they were never unsupervised and I know they never drank). I venture to say that I am one of millions of parents who know that those in college do drink before 21 and are not overly upset about that. At least I know my kids are very responsible in this way and I am thankful they are not big party kids at all. Their schedules are booked all day and night and weekend, particularly during the college years and they had very little time to drink or go out and could not afford to ever get drunk as they were up early 7 days a week and had to be in activities all day and night that involved much responsibility. </p>
<p>I’m happy for the choices you have made insomniatic… I’m happy with the lives my kids have led.</p>
<p>OK insomniatic I’ll bite. </p>
<p>You believe all laws should be followed at all times … right? </p>
<p>There are states in the US where it is illegal for married couples to have consentual oral or anal sex (never mind unmarried couples) … when you are married will you research and be sure to obay all the sexual behavior laws in the US.</p>
<p>Here are some laws in Massachusetts , I assume you believe I (as a Mass resident should follow them atall times)
<p>Can we assume you would follow all these laws all the time … and when you have kids expect them to follow them with no exceptions.</p>
<p>Now you are just people silly. There is a website dedicated to those laws and it specifically says they can’t be used in a court of law.</p>
<p>Rumor has it that insomniatic once drove 57 in a 55.</p>
<p>I’ll gladly carry a rifle to church on Sunday. I like that Annie Oakley look. I think I’d have a hard time doing that with the 3" heels - oh, those were a ‘no’. Can my rifle count as a shotgun when I’m crossing the Commons, or do I have to carry both? That might get tricky. I don’t like clam chowder so I’m okay with no tomatoes personally. I usually like to shower in the morning, I guess I could take a bath at night. I always lock the windows. Bad, nasty neighborhood we live in here.
I think I’m covered for said Mass laws. I do remember my parents reminding my bf in hs that in our state to have a young lady barefoot who was two years your jr was statutory rape.</p>
<p>^ GA2012. Be nice. Tell the whole truth. He turned himself in and did community service. ;)</p>
<p>I’m teasing insom. Really. You put yourself in the line of fire there with soozievt. That’s somewhere I wouldn’t want to be. I have thin skin.</p>
<p>I hope some people have adequate padding on their backsides to cushion the fall off the horse.</p>
<p>One has to weigh the risk factor. </p>
<p>If I choose to drive 70 in a 65 MPH zone, I take a chance of a ticket. I don’t think a ticket is that likely as it is only 5 miles over the speed limit even though I am breaking the law (of course according to some here, I have a total disregard for the law). This is something I am willing to do. </p>
<p>If my college kids present an ID to enter a bar and the ID really belong to a friend, usually the worst that can happen (or if presenting it to a bartender) is that they do not allow you to enter or take your card and do not serve you. Considering the number of times they likely did this in college, the risk was low. It did not cause them a problem, similar to my going 70 with a limit of 65. </p>
<p>D2 is going to Abu Dhabi in a month. The laws and consequences there are very different. For example, her BF will be one of the people on the trip with her . She knows that no public displays of affection like a kiss are allowed. She knows the consequences could be severe. She will not do that and is very aware of that risk of breaking that law and what could happen could be severe. </p>
<p>Just because someone drives five miles over the speed limit or drinks before age 21, doesn’t mean they have no regard for any laws of the land. Another one is jaywalking. It can be unsafe but I have done it and I guess I broke the law. These 3 things are common place in our society. They tend not to bring super harsh consequences, though there are always exceptions. There are other laws that people who are willing to drive five miles over a speed limit or have a drink before age 21 would never be willing to break…drunk driving, stealing, battery, and so on.</p>
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<p>If everyone blindly and rigidly obeyed every law all the time, there would not be much pressure to modify or change laws that many people find unreasonable. For example, the widespread use of marijuana (against the law), is surely behind the easing of marijuana laws in many states (decriminalization or “medical” marijuana permits).</p>
<p>Without resistance (disobedience) to laws banning under-21 drinking, they will never change. As it is, I think there is a possibility of change within 10-20 years.</p>
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<p>I did actually turn myself in. They were so surprised I was so honest they not only didn’t give me a ticket, they gave a pass to waive another ticket if I ever got one. Plus I got a box of donuts. :)</p>
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<p>shellz,
Let’s say you find out your adult S or D used a fake ID in college to enter an over-21 dance club to go with their friends. Will she no longer be welcome in your home? Will you feel like a failure? Will you turn her in to the police? Will you lecture her and chastise her like she is 12 years old? What will you do about it?</p>