<p>If fake IDs and under-age drinking are so common, then something is wrong with the law, not the law-abiding citizens of this country. Drinking is not the problem, drunk is. Kids in many countries can drink and they don’t get drunk.</p>
<p>Bay, exactly. Our kids are adults and live away from home. We do not control their choices. </p>
<p>Some parents may be upset if their college kids have a drink or use a fake ID. Not sure what they can do about it. </p>
<p>I am not upset about it and while the law was different when I was in college, I think if I was responsible enough over 18 to drink, I feel my kids are too.</p>
<p>^well I don’t think parents can do anything if college students drink or have a fake ID because those are the realities of college life. I guess the question I really wanted to pose was that while parents can’t do anything, do they approve your son/daughters decision to get a fake ID? (and I think that’s pretty much been answered already haha)</p>
<p>Hey Bay…
I’d like to believe that we’ve raised our kids to obey the law, and obtaining and possessing a fake ID falls well outside of it, so I do not think they would do so.</p>
<p>If they did, I’d certainly be disappointed in their lack of character and judgment, but a hug would follow the lecture. As for calling the police or not being welcome in my home? Ummm, you take your argument so far as to be ridiculous…hard to take you seriously Bay.</p>
<p>BTW, a young person’s brain isn’t fully developed until age 25, so I can forgive mistakes. Us adults…we are supposed to know better, to understand the consequences of breaking the law, and should do every thing in our power to encourage our children to do the right thing. So out of fashion these days, doing the right thing…but hey, to each his own. We’ll continue teaching our kids to follow the rules, and you can teach yours they are above it.</p>
<p>soozievt stated:
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<p>Insomniatic responded:
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<p>Insomniatic, that statement is not correct. In my state and many states, it is perfectly legal to give one’s own child alcohol as long as the parent is present. In many states it is legal to give a minor alcohol as part of religious ceremonies.</p>
<p>I let my 20 y/o daughter have a glass of wine with dinner at Thanksgiving in my home. Perfectly legal-no laws broken. At dinner one night at her school out of state, she asked if she could have a glass of wine. That state does not have a parental exception law. I told her no as it was against the law in that state. Respect for law taught. No one going to jail.</p>
<p>Kids are going to drink. I don’t like it but I accept it as a reality. But the underage ID is a whole different ball game. It’s possessing a forged government document and possibly fraud to have access to additional illegal activity…purchasing alcohol or entering a bar. </p>
<p>There are boundaries and limits. Excusing one illegal activity does not mean it’s necessary to excuse a whole litany of them. While I might not be happy to pick up my son because he’s too drunk to drive home, I’m happy that he called me instead of driving. However, if he’s busted for possessing an illegal ID AND drunk then I’m probably going to let him sit in jail all evening so he can get a clear picture of what crossing the boundaries looks like. He’s made one too many bad choices for my taste.</p>
<p>Some of us shared that our kids did not have FORGED IDs that were made up fake ones. They simply borrowed one from a friend or sibling. Just explaining and clarifying. There was not much risk involved as neither got into any trouble for it and none of their tons of peers did either in college. Just saying.</p>
<p>Using someone else’s ID is still illegal. I think it’s fraud in most states. And, I could be wrong, but if it’s done over state lines then it’s a federal law.</p>
<p>I think the better solution is to tell your kids that you don’t like it but ‘drink but be smart.’ Break the law (under aged drinking) but only for ONE thing and not a string of things.</p>
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That’s a real problem for the kids who have older friends (which is pretty universal for the kids who start college early). I wish there was a better solution for this than fake IDs…</p>
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<p>Hey shellz,
Not sure why you’d want me to teach my kids they are “above” the law. My adult offspring already know what the law is, and it didn’t require a lecture and a hug from me in order for them to get it.</p>
<p>I hate fake ID’s. Not because I’m opposed to underage drinking (I drank a ton in high school and my first three years of college), but because they can get the wrong people into trouble. If you buy alcohol for a minor, you know that what you are doing is against the law and you are betting that nothing will come of it. Still, you fully know that you will likely be held responsible if something goes wrong. If a minor uses a fake ID to enter a bar and drink, the bar’s owner, bartender, bouncer, etc likely have no idea that something illegal is going on; the ID probably looked very legitimate to them. But, if the minor using the fake ID does something stupid and gets hurt or killed on the way home, the bar is held responsible even though they did their best to abide by the law. Fake ID’s are, in that sense, quite selfish if you ask me.</p>
<p>Bay-
Your snarky comment and inuendo that I am somehow a cold-hearted b*t@! for choosing to expect my “kids” to follow the law prompted me to believe that you actually think it’s OK to obtain, possess and use a fake ID. </p>
<p>If not, great. Good for you and all that jazz. How about a hug to seal the deal? ;-)</p>
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<p>I can see both sides of the argument here. As fake ID’s get more and more authentic in appearance, I tend to agree that it could put bar owners and bouncers on some very shaky ground. You don’t want them looking the other way, but it seems a shame to hold someone acting in good faith responsible for the actions of the law breaker.</p>
<p>shellz,
No, I don’t think it is okay to obtain, posses or use a fake ID, and I never said as much. But I understand why it happens, because I had one myself when I was under 21. If a college student has any semblance of a mainstream social life, they will drink alcohol before age 21. For a parent to expect otherwise is incredibly naive.</p>
<p>As I stated, to me the problem is that the legal drinking age laws are wrong. Eighteen- to 20-year old adults should have the same rights as every other adult. Whether we like it or not, social life in our society, and especially college life is set up around venues that serve alcohol. Fortunately for my Ds, there is one nightclub in each of their college towns that offer under-21 wrist bands to the 18-20 year olds, so they don’t need to use a fake ID most of the time.</p>
<p>But as soozievt pointed out, most bars do not admit the under 21 crowd, and it became a real (not hypothetical) problem for my D whose BF was a year older. She literally could not go out with their friends on a Sat. night, and she couldn’t expect them to always go to the one place that would admit her. So she used someone else’s ID to get in, then didn’t order alcohol. I worried about her getting caught with the ID, but I certainly didn’t worry about her safety or judgement being out with her friends.</p>
<p>Both of my Ds know the risks of using a fake ID; we talk about it often. But it is their life and their decision to take the risk, and I understand why they do it.</p>
<p>I never needed a fake ID in high school because it was not as strict back then and I always looked older. I do not understand all the fake ID issues. But according to D1, it is a bigger deal if one has a fake ID then to use someone else´s ID. Homeland security has very strict rule about forging official documents, so if you have an ID with wrong birthdate then it maybe jail time. But if you try to use someone else´s ID who looks like you (without your name, birthdate…) then it´s less of offense. I guess that´s the reason she´s never paid for a fake ID and only used older friend´s ID.</p>
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<p>What does alcohol have to do with having a social life? Can’t colege students have fun without alcohol?</p>
<p>Any parent should expect their children to not break the law and don’t drink underage? What is so niave about that?</p>
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<p>Please provide sove evidence that what you atre saying is true. Never heard of that.</p>
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<p>Why take a risk just to drink alcohol?</p>
<p>^^^To think that our children won’t do anything wrong simply because they “shouldn’t” is incredibly naive. Why? Because all humans are fallible. No matter what we teach our children, they will do things we’ve taught them not to. There is not a human being on the planet who has not done something they know is wrong, that their parents taught them was wrong. It may not be drinking, but there will be something.</p>
<p>While I disagree that all college students will drink, the fact is that despite what they are taught at home, most of them do.</p>
<p>^excellent point, I don’t think any of us were taught how to throw a fit or cry or bite our parents when we were little haha</p>