Favorite Family Guy Quotes

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>I’ve seen every episode of that show, it’s great. What’s your favorite quote from the show? I can’t even pick because we have such scenes as the one with cookie monster in rehab, the one with bugs bunny, so many laughs I forget them all.</p>

<p>Last night’s, I loved the part at the end, the quote by Stewie:</p>

<p>“Um, yeah, so I was upstairs and there’s a half-dead fat guy eating a dead fat guy. <em>Family just sits there</em> Oh, so I guess we’re turning the other shoulder.”
I loved it, did anyone else see it?</p>

2

<p>Stewie: How you uh, how you comin’ on that novel you’re working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you’re working on there? Your big novel you’ve been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.</p>

3

<p>every line from that show is great.</p>

4

<p>Meg: I just want to kill myself I’m gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)
Meg: I’m allergic to peanuts.
(Peter and Lois keep staring)
Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)
Peter: Who was that guy?</p>

5

<p>Peter: Look, my alphabits spell a message! They say, “Ooooooooo”.
Brian: Peter, those are cheerios.</p>

6

<p>Oh, and when Brian did the PBJ Dance! That was awesome!</p>

7

<p>“hey pops, me have some chedda, some playa hatas throwin salt in my game…”</p>

8

<p>Family Guy is definitely my favorite show, Stewie, Quagmire, and Brian are the best though.</p>

<p>Peter Griffin: Oh my god, Brian, there’s a message in my Alphabits. It says, ‘Oooooo.’
Brian Griffin: Peter, those are Cheerios. </p>

<p>Peter Griffin: We all love the Bible in this house.
Francis Griffin: Really? Well, what’s your favorite book in the Bible?
Peter: Umm…the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece, and the man in a big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital. </p>

<p>Quagmire: Hello, 911? It’s Quagmire. Yeah, it’s caught in the window this time.</p>

9

<p>Peter: Don’t worry, I read a book about this once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book, Peter? Are you sure it wasn’t…nothing?!
Peter: Oh yeah.</p>

10

<p>TV: New England Patriot Beer, drink it, and hot women will have sex in your backyard.
Lois: Typical male fantasy. Women drinking beer. I can guarantee that a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man did Lois. It’s a commerical, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner.</p>

11

<p>Stewie’s farewell letter to Brian:</p>

<p>"Dear stupid dog, I’ve gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever.
Stewie. </p>

<p>P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I’m probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I’m sure if you make a fuss they’ll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm… It’s actually not a horrible sweater. It’s… It’s just I can’t imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I’m not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I’ll find the garment it goes to and then it’ll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever. </p>

<p>P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I’m actually going to take the sweater."</p>

12

<p>this thread makes me want to watch it. again.</p>

13

<p>Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian … Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes… uhhhh …
Bellboy (Spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said “me llamo es Brian,” you don’t need the “es,” just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak English!
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You … you’re kidding me, right?
Bellboy (Spanish): Que?</p>

14

<p>what about the one with Osama</p>

<p>Radaman…hahahahah
what is dennis radaman going to attack them with his crazy hair eh?</p>

15

<p>Stewie: She needs to get laid biggg time. (refering to meg)</p>

16

<p>When Meg is gone, and Brian is babysitting</p>

<p>Brian: Uhhh…Does baby miss his mommy?
Stewie: NO! Not that evil woman
Brian: Uhh…he misses her…
Stewie: DAMN YOU!</p>

<p>(or something to that effect)</p>

17

<p>Peter: “oh my god, its a lump… oh wait, no, its a cheeto”</p>

18

<p>Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.</p>

19

<p>Also from the auction…</p>

<p>Cleveland: Don’t you have anything that isn’t disgusting?</p>

<p>Another favorite</p>

<p>“Must kill Lincoln…” Peter after the Mentos commercial</p>

20

<p>Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You’re first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin’! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!</p>

<p>[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot. </p>

<p>Quagmire: Fat chicks need love too…but they gotta PAY!
^ i say that all the time</p>