<p>OP - Glad you are feeling better. It’s understandable that you are disappointed and maybe even confused/hur. To me the term “snubbed” in Subject implied intentional hurt or oversight (like not inviting a close relative to the wedding. My guess is that your sister had a tough decision here and does feel bad about it. </p>
<p>"…at least they get every student in the same auditorium and open the “acceptance letter” in an envelope at the same time, with the presence of faculty and family members."</p>
<p>Do you mean students get their own envelop but gather to open it at the same time? If that’s the case, it’s beyond weird.</p>
<p>mcat, your son is closer to the realities in his program than I can be. But much has changed in the past ten years, the past 5, and is still changing. A bit on hours: <a href=“New Rules Provide Relief For Sleep-Deprived Medical Residents | KFF Health News”>http://www.kaiserhealthnews.org/stories/2011/july/01/shift-limits-first-year-medical-students.aspx</a></p>
<p>Yes, I believe I have seen on some youtube video that shows a table with over one hundred of envelopes. The students line up and pick up their own envelope before entering the auditorium. I actually heard that the med school is more like a high school than a college because 1) their class size is small 2) all students take the same “class” and spend a lot of time with each other every day.</p>
<p>Tatin, I’m impressed with your overnight turnaround. I know what it’s like to place importance on something that no one else thinks is a big deal. It doesn’t matter what anyone else on this thread thinks of the white coat ceremony. What matters is that it’s important to YOU, and that was the source of the sting. But your decision not to be too stung is wise. Sounds like you have a wonderful sis, and a relationship to be cherished. </p>
<p>Congratulations to your D. Starting med school is a very big deal IMO. :-)</p>
<p>lookingforward, Thanks for the link.</p>
<p>This seems to be quite brutal to me (maybe it is because I myself have never worked such a long hour without any downtime in my whole life. Maybe I am a slacker.)</p>
<p>“Second- and third-year residents will still be permitted to work 28 hours at a time.”</p>
<p>So what happens in this “match ceremony” if a student was not chosen? Or does that not ever happen? </p>
<p>“But I would be annoyed if I planned a family reunion, got everyone’s okay about the timeframe, and at the last minute my sister pulled out.” That’s what I am still confused about. Was the sister ever fully onboard with this at any point, fully committed to the 4 day plan to celebrate the daughter? </p>
<p>That sounds like a lot of work to miss to me . . .</p>
<p>I heard there is something called SOAP for such an unlucky student. I heard somebody from the school may help call somebody he knows to see if there is still some slot available. It may be worse than being wait-listed in college application as the chance is slimmer.</p>
<p>What is worse here is that many fourth year med school students may need to match into two programs (transitional/preliminary as well as advanced.) an analogy here is that a high school student needs to apply and be accepted into a college where he can only study there for his freshman year, and then also to apply and be accepted into a (usually) different college for the next 3 years if college. (Although there is some category program that may accept you for all years, some specialty does not have such a program. No wonder it is said most MS4 students waste a lot if their time on traveling/interviewing. For some specialty, the students may have to apply to almost all programs, like over one hundred of them.)</p>
<p>One CCer told a story that a highly competitive student from HMS ran into this situation and decided to wait another year to try again. Most of the students who have this trouble are actually relatively competitive students who try to get into some extremely competitive specialty like derm, etc.</p>
<p>DS knows of a student graduated from another med school who failed to match and his med school allowed him to stay for another year, likely doing, what else, research - go back to do what the premeds or some med school students at any highly ranked med school may do for getting into their next stop.</p>
<p>i don’t know why it requires so much thinking about how to respond…something like, “Okay, thanks for letting me know. We will take some photos for you. Looking forward to seeing you at “X” <whatever the=”" next="" time="" is="" you="" expect="" to="" be="" together="">" Can’t imagine anything else is needed. More could come across as a passive-aggressive poke. </whatever></p>
<p>I don’t know why so many people think what’s appropriate for them should be the same for everyone. There are people who think it is no big deal to not attend their kids graduation or a friend’s parent funeral, but for others it’s huge. Some people are very close to their siblings and others are not. I have learned when it comes to my friends/families events, it’s not what I think is important, it is what’s important to them. </p>
<p>A relative did not match, and worked in an interim position at an orthopedics office. He entered residency a year later, and now is doing just fine. really fine. I think his problem is his interviewing style. </p>
<p>OP came out asking “Am I Right?” (title of thread). Vast majority of posters have said, “No”. Other than people saying she should own her feelings, and she feels the way she feels so that is valid, I think no one else has said this particular event would require the presence of the student’s aunt from far away. @Oldfort, she asked. So that is why everyone is saying what would be appropriate for them.</p>
<p>But that is part of what is confusing, oldfort. The OP clearly thinks this is important but is it important to the siblings? The OP says she went to the high school graduation of her sister’s son recently because the sister wanted her there. Was there pressure to go ? We don’t know. I went to my niece’s high school graduation party recently hours away (daughter of husband’s sister). No pressure from my SIL at all but a good chance to see family. The sister of the OP apparently has at least one child, a son, who just graduated and may be going off to college soon. If that is the case, that may be an emotional time for the sister and her priorities could well be seeing old friends at her reunion and getting her son off to college or into whatever his next step might be. There is nothing strange at all about a sister potentially having different priorities. I’m guessing she is quite busy as a working physician and has to allocate use of her free time wisely.</p>
<p>mcat, there’s advice on the web about how to manage the “away rotation” to your best advantage. </p>
<p>LasMa makes a good point about the personal significance. </p>
<p>I haven’t read this whole thread but I’m wondering if the Doctor Sister, having been through a white coat ceremony of her own, just thinks that it wasn’t really a big deal? My H is a doctor and I’ve never heard of this before (maybe it’s relatively new, or only at some schools?). Of course, if the OP makes it clear that it’s a big deal for family purposes, then Doctor sister should take that into account.</p>
<p>Also, graduations can be logistical nightmares. We managed to get seats for 6 people at D2’s college graduation and even more seats at D3’s high school graduation but often the family only gets 2 - 4 seats and can’t really invite the larger family to the actual ceremony. It makes it difficult to assume that any official graduation event is a open to the larger group. </p>
<p>From what I remember (used to work for med school, but it has been awhile), those who did not match were contacted a couple days before match day, unfilled positions are made known to them, and they, with their advisors’ help, try to get accepted (called “The Scramble”-but sort of like a “feeding frenzy” 
) into one of them. This might require phone interviews, references, etc. By the actual match day, everyone (or almost everyone) has an envelope. A good friend of mine didn’t match into OB, but scrambled into a general surgery spot (which was just for one year), and then had to transfer to another, less desirable program to finish her surgery residency. (She forgot about OB and became a trauma surgeon). There is some strategy involved in anticipating which program will rank you highest. If you rank them high, then you will match. But what if your favorite program did not like you so much? Or you had the program that really wanted you low on your list? Then you don’t match. Match day is an exciting and class-bonding experience. More memorable than graduation in many cases. Graduation is just a “relief.” But it is fun to see where all your classmates are going to start their careers.</p>
<p>I’ve seen some terrific videos of match day (friends as well as relatives). But it didn’t include the parents…it was classmates. Some of the parents did take the newly minted doc out to dinner to celebrate the match…but didn’t attend the festivities.</p>
<p>White coat ceremony is another milestone as it signifies the start of medical school these days. As I said upstream, I’ve never been invited to a white coat (as an aunt), and I love close enough that I actually could have attended. The parents celebrated this with their new med school student.</p>
<p>Different families have different ways of dealing with these things…clearly. The OP is disappointed that her sister isn’t coming. That is a real feeling for her. I think feeling disappointed is fine. But I don’t think she had been snubbed.</p>
<p>Oldfort: OP asked for people’s opinions, which is why people are giving their opinion.</p>