<p>A little background info: When I applied to colleges last year, I was interested in an extremely specific type of program. There are very few of these in the nation, and each one is actually somewhat different, as there is no rigid “set” of courses required for it. After countless hours of portfolio/application work, I was accepted into a very selective program at my #1 college choice. However, I received very little scholarship money and it wouldn’t have made sense to go there, so sadly I had to turn down admission there and go to another school which I had received a large scholarship from. I was pretty crushed at first, but I resolved to make the best of my experience and entered school with a positive attitude.</p>
<p>Fast-forward almost 3 months in, and…well, it’s been rough to say the least, but the weird thing is it wouldn’t appear that way on the outside. I’m a fairly outgoing kind of guy, and I’ve met a lot of people that I hang out with. However, I’d hesitate to call them friends, because frankly, I’ve discovered that I really don’t care for any of them. The school I’m at, despite being academically strong, has something of a reputation as being a party school, and nearly everybody I’ve met has reinforced that stereotype. I’m not much of a partier at all; I don’t mind it once in a while, but I have diverse interests and like variety in my activities. I’m also a bit quirky and nerdy and haven’t found anybody at all who I can identify with, despite my efforts to be outgoing and meet a wide range of people. It seems like all that anybody cares about here is getting wasted every single weekend. It’s all unbelievably superficial, and I’m just aching to find somebody here that actually has personality. I’ve started just keeping my room door closed and not going out with my “friends” when they try to drag me places. I’ve met a couple of genuinely nice people (my roommate among them, thank goodness), but they all seem to be perfectly fine with letting themselves just get dragged out to mediocre house parties and not doing anything else. </p>
<p>So this is where I’m at right now: despite being surrounded by people that want to hang out with me, I’ve never felt so alone and out of place in my life. In addition, I’m not really enjoying my classes, though I am keeping pace with my studies and am doing fine academically (for what it’s worth though, my motivation has been in a steady decline…I should really be doing homework right now, actually, but I just can’t focus on it…go figure). Finally, I feel trapped on campus- my school is located just outside a large city, but it’s very difficult to actually get off campus, and inexpensive public transportation is basically nonexistent. In essence, I’m not enjoying who I’m around, what I’m studying, or where I am. Ouch. :P</p>
<p>I know I need to give this place more time, and I will absolutely be spending all of my freshman year here. But I’m just feeling disillusioned and disheartened by my college experience, and I cannot imagine spending another 3.5 years here. Right now I just have no idea. What I’m most scared about is that the university I’m at now is one of the few schools that has the program I’m majoring in right now…should I decide that I want to transfer, I honestly have no idea where I’d be able to go without changing my major.</p>
<p>So yeah…pretty much just freaking out wondering whether choosing this school was a huge mistake…and feeling very uneasy about the future. I’m not sure what sort of replies I’m really expecting here. I just had to vent, I guess. But any words of encouragement or advice or really anything would be appreciated.</p>
<p>Now, on to all that homework that I should have started doing several hours ago…</p>