<p>My middle name is my mom’s middle name and has been in our family for a long time. It’s long, but I like it, and we’ll see if it gets passed down. I extremely rarely mention my middle name just because it’s such a mouthful.</p>
<p>My dad has already requested that neither of his names (first/middle) get passed down lol. </p>
<p>I think your posts go both ways. (And, you’re not the only one.) I also think romani comes into a discussion of this sort having well thought the issue out. And I think we all know how common this choice is, how we all adapt on both sides- the people who need to explain multiple family names and the people who need to learn them. </p>
<p>Interpretations can always go both ways. If I say I am not dissecting your posts and that I respect your decision, I would hope you would trust that; especially, if I’m coming from a place of understanding and experience. If not, then wasted breath, I guess. Can’t control how people interpret what you say when they don’t want to believe you’re not coming from a place of judgement. </p>
<p>Niqui77, the way I read it, is lookingforward thinks you are not allowing romani to have her “voice” if you express that you plan on doing something differently. And if anyone brings up potential complications, they also dismissing the couples right to make their own choice. You are only allowed to make comments if you agree, otherwise, nothing else is allowed. The dissenting voice is allowed to be squashed.</p>
<p>I find that funny, because if anyone, romani can consider comments about how others have differing opinions and experiences, and not take offense. The thought that ANYONE could squash romani’s “voice” is actually quite hysterical to me.:D</p>
<p>Good point LF. Romani ’ s question was:</p>
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<p>From those of us who didn’t change our names, i think the answer is a unanimous “No.”</p>
<p>So how dare anyone say anything else? How dare anyone say it’s been a little hassle, or be careful when traveling, or this one thing has been an issue, or this situation has bothered me.</p>
<p>People should just have answered with one word, and this thread could have been finished in two pages.</p>
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That’s utter poppycock. If that’s what romani and lookingforward believes, then that is ridiculous. I will happily no longer take part in a thread who feels a dissenting, personal, and respectful opinion has any affect on their life. Talk about hypocritical. </p>
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<p>Hey, the woman KNOWS she’s the kid’s mother. The guy might need some reassurance. B-) </p>
<p>Except that not having the same name as my husband hasn’t been an issue when traveling, or a hassle, so why would I say it was?</p>
<p>I go by my middle name, always have. I go by “Cardinal Fang,” but my legal name is “Anastasia Cardinal Fang.” And that is much, much more trouble than not sharing my husband’s name. I have to remember to buy plane tickets as Anastasia Fang, and answer to Anastasia at doctors’ offices and the like, and decide whether to put “Cardinal” as my first name when filling out forms even though my real first name is Anastasia-- and then I don’t have a middle initial–, even though I’ve always been called Cardinal. </p>
<p>I feel confident in saying that romani is very comfortable listening to dissenting voices, in all matters. You don’t need to worry about her, she can take care of herself.</p>
<p>Cardinal Fang, that’s the same thing my mother experiences. It can indeed be a PITA.</p>
<p>@busdriver11, I agree. Romani does not seem to be experiencing other people’s experiences as a silencing of her own. And it’s pretty funny to think of her as being intimidated by a civil discussion. :)</p>
<p>When I think of all she put up with in the E&P forum, with such grace and rationality, @Consolation…she almost got me to change my ways. Moderated my views on many things. Thinking of her as a defenseless delicate flower who might lose her voice if someone disagrees, just makes me laugh out loud!</p>
<p>Oh noes, I’m scared of people judging me. :p</p>
<p>If you’re not scared, which I wouldn’t imagine you to be, I don’t know why lookingforward is such in a tizzy that I said what I’d do personally.</p>
<p>It is hypocritical to say someone who shares their belief while respectfully acknowledge and uplifting an alternative belief is silencing the other. Nope, don’t buy it. I won’t walk on eggshells around someone who willfully views my posts as judgmental. </p>
<p>I have never been disrespectful when it came to those who chose to keep their names. I have continuously said that they should go for it and they know what’s best for their family. </p>
<p>Don’t let anybody shut you down, Niquii, ever. That’s always one of my pet peeves of these forums, people who try to just get you to shut up. It is so boring when people all have the same opinion, and are ready to jump on anyone who expresses something a little different. As long as you aren’t vicious or rude when you express your opinion, why should anyone try to stop you? Sometimes we learn things or change our minds when we talk to people who think differently. You consider things that you never would have, if you have people giving alternate views. And even if they don’t change your mind, at least you get a little more understanding of why people think the way they do.</p>
<p>Never stop talking!</p>
<p>I may or may not be following my mother around a Pier 1 with a giant stuffed pig while she tells me I’m adopted. </p>
<p>We’re wedding shopping and I’m being a PITA </p>
<p>romani as Bridezilla!</p>
<p>Okay, I can’t see that.</p>
<p>Thank you, busdriver. Have been nothing but respectful in all my posts. </p>
<p>Like I said before, can’t do anything about a person who willfully casts your posts in a negative light. :)</p>
<p>Hahaha. LF is not in a tizzy, but I sure got two of you into one. LF thinks this, LF thinks that. Don’t let anybody shut you down, Niquii, ever. Not even if they disagree. </p>
<p>Busdriver, DH and I have traveled with and without our child, we have bought houses, opened joint bank accounts, dealt with schools for our D, dealt with doctors and insurance for our D and for each other, filed joint tax returns including returns with D as a dependent, made wills, been beneficiaries of wills, and we have friends, family and coworkers who seem to have no difficulty comprehending our relationships to each other. Romani didn’t ask if anyone anywhere had ever had a problem. She asked if I, as someone who made this choice, had ever had a problem with it. For me and me family, the answer is “No.” </p>