<p>I wish I had kept my maiden name and we had hyphenated it for our kids. My maiden name is very uncommon and DH’s is very common. I think sometimes it’s better to have a unique last name so that people remember you. Plus if they google you there won’t be a ton of people with the same name.</p>
<p>I assume maiden-husband’s.</p>
<p>^ I assumed the opposite so I’m curious, too 
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<p>I would say whatever sounds good. There might be some unusual combination that might not work.</p>
<p>Last week DH told me about a female coworker with grown kids who had kept her maiden name. She mentioned that she very much regrets the choice. I suspected it was an exception. but it was still interesting feedback.</p>
<p>My engineering degree has my maiden name. But I had only been working about a year when I got married. I had no established reputation or published papers. I opted to use maiden name as middle name and DH’s surname. After 30 years of work, I have zero regrets, </p>
<p>I have liked simplicity of whole family with same name. I understand there are situations where a wife would want to keep a maiden name. K am not a fan of hyphenating kid names. That seems like an awkward one-generation solution. NPR once had an interesting piece about marrying couples where BOTH already had hyphenated names. Some gave up and picked a totally new name. </p>
<p>i kept my name, DH kept his. Kids have my last name as their middle name and Dad’s surname as their last name. Funnily enough, DH’s last name is now a VERY popular first name, so people often think my son’s first name is his last name and visa versa. And funnily enough, my last name is now a VERY popular first name, due to a stupid tv show. I am glad we did it this way, me keeping my own name, and kids having both our names. Hyphens seemed too difficult to manage for us, and a little too high-faluting!</p>
<p>Well, according to ehow (if that’s any authority), the common way to hyphenate names is maiden-H’s last name, recognizing it’s the couple’s prerogative to switch the order. My secretary was maiden-H’s last name, and their kids both were given that hyphenated last name.</p>
<p>i didn’t change my name when I married back in the 80s…and i’ve been happy with that. A big survey came ot by Facebook in 2013 that showed that 35% of women who married in their twenties did <em>not</em> change their names…but older women did…with the theory perhaps being that folks in their 20s have stronger social histories and may not want to lose that name…but that’s just a theory…</p>
<p>Interesting, a lot of people asked me why I didn’t change my name. I didn’t know why people made a big deal. In the scheme of things, we are all just a small dot in the universe, well at least that’s what they told me in the Yoga class.</p>
<p>It’s interesting to me that that’s their theory. </p>
<p>I’m honestly really surprised by how many women on here either did not change their name or regret changing their names. I’m not as alone as I thought </p>
<p>ETA: My thoughts exactly, DrGoogle. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why it was a big deal. I thought I was missing some glaring sign that CLEARLY everyone else could see. </p>
<p>FWIW, we LIKE the relative anonymity of having “common” last names instead of the unique and hyphenated names that folks sometimes mangle by putting in different order and sometimes have a hard time alphabetizing. We prefer that folks NOT find us via google or other methods–those whom we want to keep in touch with, we seem to have managed to pretty well. My H and kids and I like that there are tons of others with our first and last names which are much more likely to pop up in a search than any of us.</p>
<p>I got my law degree and practiced law for 4 years with my maiden name, which was why I practiced a while longer with it even after I married (with the knowledge and consent of the bar). When I opted to help a lot at the school and run the PTA, it was easier for everyone when I used my legal married name (Mrs. H’s last name). I never went back to using my maiden name once the kids were in school–just easier for me.</p>
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<p>This is not necessarily an advantage. My maiden name (which I kept) is pretty common, making it harder to Google me. My ex-H’s name is uncommon… I would possibly be the only person in the US with that combo of first/last name if I had taken his name. I don’t consider it a plus to be found on Google, though.</p>
<p>I kept my name. H and I work in higher education. It has helped because he has been an Associate Dean and now an Associate Provost. Students do not know we are married.</p>
<p>I didn’t change my name. When I wrote notes to teachers or schools I would sign my name and put (kid’s mom) in parentheses so they knew we were related. Every now and then I run into someone who has trouble understanding that people who are married can have different last names but it is usually easily dealt with. Just last week (last week!) I had a car rental place say they couldn’t put our car rental on my husband’s Amex card because I had made the reservation and I have a different name. Before I could unleash any of the snappy comebacks I use in these situations the guy allowed as how he could put it through because we have the same address.</p>
<p>I took my husband’s name immediately, didn’t even consider otherwise. He would have been very insulted, and his last name was WAYYYY better than my weird last name. Same with my sis, that was the end of the line for that family name.</p>
<p>There are many women around here that keep their maiden names, often for professional reasons. I understand that completely, it would be confusing to people after one has established a reputation in a particular field, to change their names. I don’t begrudge anyone for the name choices they make, but I have to admit, it can be a little annoying. It is much easier to figure out who belongs to who, when you have the same last name. When the kids have a different name than their mom, it can get confusing. Plus, I’m not even sure if any of these people are actually married. It seems rude to ask.</p>
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What does it matter? Why do you even care? </p>
<p>“What does it matter? Why do you even care?”</p>
<p>So funny. I just knew somebody was going to say exactly that.</p>
<p>I dunno. Maybe because some of these people I consider to be my friends. And this is a basic fact about their life. We chat with some friends quite often, many are ones that we’ve known for many, many years. We talk about the most trivial part of each others and our children’s lives. And I don’t even know (though I suspect) if they’re married or not. Just seems odd to not know, until I hear them actually talk about the other person as “my husband” or “my wife,” Is that okay? Or is that an intensely private part of someone’s life that I dare not wonder about?</p>
<p>Once kids come, it’s simply less hassle to have the same last name, especially when u travel.</p>
<p>I have an expat colleague whose wife was not allowed to board an intl flight w her own minor child bcs of different last names. The father had to provide an affidavit that she was a parent before airline allowed her to board w child the nxt day.</p>
<p>I recall having trouble finding the names of some of my kids’ parents in the school directory when we were sending out bday party invitations, bcs of the different last names.</p>
<p>It is definitely easier for us who are memory challenged, if everyone has the same last name. So confusing at kids schools, when you are trying to remember many different people. Okay, you belong to which child? But then again, it’s all a matter of choice, and it is very common around here. But you have to understand that it may be confusing, particularly when you have kids.</p>
<p>I hyphenated my name when I got married at 30, and first kid has an unrelated hyphenated first name, my maiden name as her middle name, and husbands as her last. We didn’t marry until she was 8 months, and I was young and strident. Just strident when son was born. Now I am old and strident. </p>
<p>The hardest part is what do kid’s friends call us. I’m not going to lie; I don’t favor “Mrs. husbands name”…Complicated by H and I knowing many in other settings, as we often might be the doctors of family members. </p>
<p>Really weird when one of my kids is dating someone, and my kid doesn’t know I am date’s psychiatrist. :-SS </p>
<p>I see mostly kids in my practice, and I NEVER assume anybody has the same name or is married or related. I usually say “so and so’s mom or dad”, then ask if that’s okay.</p>