<p>Why is this not a “whatever” story? If you have the money and this kind of thing matters to you and your family, how is this anyone else’s business?</p>
<p>Beats me. I acknowledge some parts of gourmetmom’s story about communal living, but by the same token, some will always have more than others and that is how life goes.</p>
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<p>Cobrat, maybe some well-to-do kids tone down their socioeconomic status because that’s how they were brought up and they genuinely are that way, not because they care one way or the other about “garnering respect” from other students. You may find it hard to believe, but not every move everyone makes is about checking first what others around them might think of them and then planning one’s moves accordingly.</p>
<p>It matters because there are people who deeply resent wealth. Class resentment is being touted as a social problem, at least according to MSNBC. While I agree that most people do not care how much money others have, or what they do with it, I also know that some people seriously resent the “1%.” So, it is absolutely a good idea to tone it down a bit when living in a communal situation. It’s also a lot classier. By the way, I’m in the “.001%,” if that matters.</p>
<p>I agree with PG about how well off students often present themselves. My college roommate came from a very well to do family . I honestly didn’t know the wealth they had until about 10 years after we graduated and I went to her lovely wedding. I didn’t ever ask about her wealth and she never asked about my lack of wealth (which I think was much more apparent than her wealth). We were friends…period.</p>
<p>FWIW, I still use my freshman bedspread, and india print spread, as groundcover for picnics and concerts and such (wiill be using it tonight, in fact). My then roommate and I shopped for coordinated (not matching but coordinated) india print spreads. We are talking over 40 years ago. So regardless of the cost,which IMO is totally up to the person whose wallet the $$ emerges from, you never know ow long this stuff might stay in use.</p>
<p>Young people who come from wealth will eventually need to learn to deal with those who resent them. And those who come from more modest circumstances need to learn not to resent others who have more wealth based simply on the fact that they have more! My household’s income is irrelevant to this discussion, but I am confident I am in the top .001% when it comes to being happy with the life I have.</p>
<p>How one’s presents themselves is a big part of the issue. If you come off as aloof on your first day of college, regardless of your parent’s social status, I doubt you make many friends.</p>
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<p>While that is a part, there’s additional factors. There’s also the factor that such open displays of wealth signifies tacky crass behavior that screams “noveau riche”/“craven social climber” and signs one hasn’t been brought up properly to some of the wealthy folks…especially those who have been for generations. </p>
<p>As for class resentment…this has always been a part of human history to varying degrees and yes, does get exacerbated by the well-off in an insensitive manner through behaviors such as flaunting wealth insensitively. </p>
<p>One only needs to examine how the excesses of the French aristocracy and clergy during the ancien regime with their dress dancing balls, gourmet dining in quality/quantity, extreme snobbery to the “lower orders”, and more while most of the Third estate were starving/nearly so to the point they felt they had little to lose but to start a revolution.</p>
<p>Ah, yes. This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but with a pillow sham.</p>
<p>my son?..no way in heck…my daughter?..she would love it…lol</p>
<p>ROTFLMAO (but that still doesn’t make ten characters!)</p>
<p>very funny - absweetmarie especially since I am considering going over to the best buy thread to brag about the 4 matching pillow shams I got for $8.00 to help to hide the ugly couch in my daughter’s dorm apartment!</p>
<p>An interesting perspective from a student:</p>
<p>[Romero</a> '14: Let?s talk about privilege - The Brown Daily Herald - Serving the community daily since 1891](<a href=“http://www.browndailyherald.com/romero-14-let-s-talk-about-privilege-1.2758553#.UEzOgI5qYso]Romero”>http://www.browndailyherald.com/romero-14-let-s-talk-about-privilege-1.2758553#.UEzOgI5qYso)</p>
<p>The article is interesting, Gourmetmom. I think, though, that someone who spends money decorating a dorm room may or may not be insensitive to his or her privileged status. One of the ways my daughter is privileged is that she has grown up with a sense of perspective and a healthy sense of self-worth. It would take more than a neighbor in a residence hall with nicer bedding than hers and color-coordinated furniture to make her doubt her worth. Maybe that isn’t the case with all kids her age.</p>
<p>That is very much my point. My daughter would not care if someone used a decorator, nor would she ever want one. She enjoys doing her own room - it’s an opportunity to get creative and make it completely her own. I agree that many people probably feel this way.</p>
<p>However, we shouldn’t assume that everyone will have the same reaction that we do. It’s a matter of sensitivity to others, especially those who come from very different backgrounds and have different experiences. I also realize we can’t go tiptoeing through life worrying about what others think of everything we do - I’m not advocating that either. </p>
<p>Moving into a dorm is a rite of passage - it requires a “we’re all in this together” attitude and a sense of making the best out of a cement block room and cafeteria food. There is always off-campus housing for those who don’t care to live this way.</p>
<p>How is spending a couple hundred an hour a sign of wealth? The people in the article are from the South, where’s it far more common for SAHMs to put value in decorating rooms and where COL is low so they have more disposable income. It doesn’t mean that they are wealthy in the big picture. They just have more disposable income since they aren’t paying 5k a month on rent and value certain interests above others. It’s partly a regional culture thing.</p>
<p>It may not be a sign of wealth but it is a sign of disposable income. Brian1, when you make $10 an hour before taxes you would need to work about 22 hours, which is more than one half of a work week, to be able to spend $200.</p>
<p>Brian, I wonder if you are married or plan to get married. Since you seem to dislike SAHM’s so much, I hope you are also willing to do 50% of the housework and child care while you and your spouse both have full time jobs. I hope that when the day care center or nanny you hire calls you at work to tell you your kid has the flu or something like that that you are as willing to drop everything and come home right away as you expect your partner to be. When your kid gets sick and can’t go to day care/school, and/or the nanny quits, or school is closed, be sure that you have a good SAHM friend that you can drop your kids off to so you can both be at work. She’ll know that someone with your attitude is just using her, does not value what she does, and that you think what you do is way more important, but she’ll do it anyway because she cares about your kid. Lastly, I hope neither of you gets fired or laid off and that the one that does, offers to do the majority of the work at home so that the both of you can do what you can to keep the house running. This is certain to ruin your relationship.
Both sides of the “Mommy” war have pros and cons, and I’ve been there and I don’t judge either side. It’s not pertinent to this discussion. Strange to hear this comment from someone who I assume has not.
This discussion is about hiring a professional decorator for a dorm room, not what the mother does the rest of the time.</p>
<p>Brian1 - you really have no idea what you are talking about. COL in certain region of US maybe lower, but usually income is also lower, therefore they won’t necessary have more disposal income. </p>
<p>Just for your information, it is not just women who are interested in having a nice decorated home. There are many men out there who care very much what their homes look like. My good friend’s husband is a global head of FX at a major financial institution, he was very involved with design of their 4000 square foot apartment in NYC. Another data point, my sister and her husband live down south, they are both lawyers, and their house was completely done by a decorator, down to the throw on their sofa and pictures on their bookshelves. </p>
<p>By reading some of your posts, you seem to have a real hang up about SAHM. Wonder what’s up with that.</p>