<p>Your hovercraft is full of eels.</p>
<p>What should I name my cat?</p>
<p>If you don’t feel ready, wait another year before going to Mexico.</p>
<p>What should I say to my new neighbor?</p>
<p>“Name your dog Tracy.”</p>
<p>Why am I ugly?</p>
<p>Buy a packet of cheetos</p>
<p>Soulja Boy is the best rapper alive.</p>
<p>Do you think today’s economy will ever recover from this recession?</p>
<p>I just handed my pinball crown to him.</p>
<p>How old is your great aunt?</p>
<p>Go paint your nails pink.</p>
<p>What should I major in college?</p>
<p>Try taking Tylenol.</p>
<p>Why are you not posting in my college list thread?</p>
<p>I’m so hungry. -clutches stomach-</p>
<p>Why doesn’t my friend have internet?</p>
<p>
+515 to you!</p>
<p>^^It’s because I have too much free time.</p>
<p>Edit: ^When you watch too much porn, your internet asplodes.</p>
<p>^ I’m taking a page from you, except doing one better: CPA’s favorite actor is now David Garrick and his favorite actress is Sarah Bernhardt.</p>
<p>^Elitism ftw!</p>
<p>haha yes! This way I can be like </p>
<p>Me: “*** you guise. Leonardo DiCaprio is a terrible actor. David Garrick is way better!!”
Them: Really? What was he in?
Me: Oh, you know, 18th Century productions of Jonson, Shakespeare, Sidney, and Marlowe plays
Them: -_-</p>
<p>What should I do for my birthday?</p>
<p>Lady Gaga sucks.</p>
<p>Did you just lose the game?</p>
<p>No, don’t even attempt to do that until you practice for at least 500 more hours.</p>
<p>How do I shave my own back?</p>
<p>Rainbows and butterflies.</p>
<p>What do you want to be?</p>
<p>Try repainting your room.</p>
<p>How do I keep my little brother from getting into my things?</p>
<p>Mace and rat poison, all over your bare chest. </p>
<p>How do I get into HYP?</p>
<p>Practice throwing yourself off buildings to get an awesome EC. It’ll make an brilliant essay topic.</p>
<p>Why is there a meat thermometer on the desk?</p>