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This sounds like an interesting idea in theory, but in practice, I think people will be tired, buzzed if not drunk, clothes will be rumpled or sweaty from partying and dancing, make-up and hair will be disheveled, etc.</p>
<p>Pretty much the last thing I would want to do after 5+ hours of ceremony and reception, is then spend another couple hours traveling around for pictures. IMO.</p>
<p>Hope the weather cooperates.</p>
<p>Most of the weddings that I’ve been to have had a “gap” of less than an hour (or if you have to travel from one site to another, you aren’t waiting around for more than about an hour at the new place). </p>
<p>A lot of the weddings have featured some type of snack during that time - it could be a plate of cheese and crackers and a cash bar, or it has been a full on cocktail hour, with passed appetizers and an open bar. But the idea is that when you arrive, you should be able to nosh while everyone awaits the bridal party. This often takes place in an ante-room of sorts, with the actual reception being elsewhere.</p>
<p>^^ Notrichenough, I am not wild about the idea myself, and appreciate it would not be for everyone, or most! But D, her fiance, and their close friends/bridal party are not at all a drinking crowd. (I know, many parents *say *that, but it is really true in this case.) They also have lots of stamina. (This group has done some very demanding international hiking excursions and the relatively low key wedding weekend schedule will be a piece of cake for them.) Also, no tuxes or other formal wear at this wedding – groom and groomsmen are wearing khakis and blazers.</p>
<p>Besides, the photographer will be at the ceremony and reception, and will be getting plenty of pics of everyone at those events, so the trolley bit is just an add-on.</p>
<p>The reception goes until 3 p.m., the trolley ride is scheduled for an hour and a half total, it will be making very few stops, and after pics the trolley will deliver the bride and groom right to their condo so they can get ready to leave for their honeymoon the next morning. (Others will then be dropped off at their hotel.) I actually think it is a neat and considerate idea, and putting time with the guests (many of whom are coming a great distance for this wedding) ahead of “line 'em up, shoot em” picture taking away from the reception has my support. </p>
<p>Besides, they had a lovely engagement photo shoot day this past spring with their photographer and I think the engagement photos are likely to be the more significant ones for them, as they are shown in “regular” clothing enjoying their beautiful Back Bay neighborhood.</p>
<p>But yes, I too hope it is a nice day. :)</p>
<p>I don’t like the gap. We’ve recently been to a number of family bar mitzvahs where we live close enough that we don’t want to stay in a hotel but far enough away that the gap causes an inconvenience.</p>
<p>At our own wedding, we decided to have the reception in a hall that was not our first choice because of wanting to accommodate family members who had difficulty getting around and because several guests had made the effort to come in from a distance and we didn’t want to make them have to stay over.</p>
<p>I will be happy to share my childrens’ wedding plans just as soon as any of them decide to make that possible. :)</p>
<p>We have a wedding to go to in August with almost a three hour gap with nothing planned in between. I have no idea what they expect their out of town guests to do. I have a food allergy and there won’t be anything for me to eat at the reception, so I was seriously considering going home in between to cook my own dinner-- we live 40 or so minutes away so there’d be time. But I guess the same caterer was at the shower and the food was terrible, so now everybody wants to go out to dinner in between instead… even that won’t kill three hours. </p>
<p>Funny thing is, apparently the bride sent the invitations out in batches (despite assuring MOG they all went out the same day) and I still haven’t gotten mine. My parents and sisters did. Maybe I’m not invited! I got my shower invitation like three weeks later than everybody else, too, two days before the RSVP date. I think the RSVP date for the wedding is coming up.</p>
<p>It seems like the new thing with photos in our area is to get bride and groom photos and wedding party photos BEFORE the event, this includes a special ‘first look’ moment. Then after the wedding a quick (30 minutes) of larger family groups with the couple, then on to the reception. If I recall, the photographer also stole DD & her new DH after the significant reception activities and did sunset photos.</p>
<p>We had music, light snacks and beverages available during the family photo interlude.</p>
<p>We attended a wedding where the ceremony was at the synagogue where the bride had attended her whole life, but the reception was a good hour’s drive away and scheduled to start two hours after the ceremony ended–I assume to make sure everyone found their way and to allow for photos. Fortunately the location for the reception was spectacular, which made up for the extra time, plus at the end of the ceremony the guests were handed snack bags of nuts and candies and bottles of water to tide them over (plus a set of directions in case they had been left at home)–a thoughtful touch, I thought.</p>
<p>Mommaj, that situation sounds okay in my book. It sounds like a less than ideal situation was made to be okay. The treat bags tell me the bride knew it was an inconvenience to her guests but she was doing her best to be thoughtful about it. I can work with that! Coordinating two venues is hard.</p>
<p>I wish distance were at least part of the reason for the big gap in the wedding we have coming up. I’m just dreading trying to pass that kind of time in heels and a formal dress, these sites are less than a 20 minute drive from each other. Maybe well go see a movie! That would make for some amusing photos. I really want this to work out for the bride even if I think she’s a little nuts.</p>
<p>Count me in with the crowd that doesn’t think it’s the couple’s responsibility to entertain the guests for the entire day. What is a couple being married in a church that won’t let them have a ceremony past 2 pm supposed to do? All guests know ahead of time that the gap exists and can make plans. Some of the guests go back to the hotel. We once went shopping inbetween.</p>
<p>zoosermom, your niece sounds like a real piece of work. </p>
<p>I have experienced these gaps going back to when my college friends and I started to get married. We didn’t do that (5 pm wedding, 15 minutes for photos, reception immediately after in the same area) but at least one of my friends did (not much to do in Midland, Michigan for four hours…). I think it would be much worse in a place like New York where mobility is an issue (for individuals in wheelchairs as well as everyone else without cars–of course no one is dressed for walking around the city if they have just attended a wedding). </p>
<p>What I see where I live now is the ceremony in a country church and the reception downtown, or the wedding at a big church downtown and the reception at some cool barn space in the country. So there are both gaps and a lot of driving for people not familiar with the area.</p>
<p>Overall, I cannot believe what a production weddings have become–the logos and highly designed invitations (and save the date cards–when did those happen?), the websites, and everything else. Some of the weddings I remember most fondly have been the simplest. Hopefully that’s the path my kids will take when the time comes.</p>
<p>Again, I don’t think it’s a matter of providing entertainment all day, so much as avoiding as much as possible causing the need for it.</p>
<p>I understand some churches might not give them a choice, though who says the reception needs to be so much later? And it sounds in some cases that it’s because the documentation needs run for hours in between.</p>
<p>I think the recent example of a long drive in between is more understandable–there’s not a blank gap; there’s a drive to make. </p>
<p>But yeah, it’s become clear to me that weddings have become huge productions in a lot of cases–I’m glad my D was able to have a beaudtiful one while avoiding so much of the fanfare. (I get that different people have different expectations etc. I file my experience of them under “sociological studies.”)</p>
<p>I do think if you’re going to hold an event that is going take up the entire day for your guests, you should have something-- anything-- planned to keep them occupied for that time. I don’t think you get to take a three hour break from being hosts right in the middle of your party just because it’s a wedding. </p>
<p>In our case, the B&G wanted a mega-luxe evening affair with plated dinner and couldn’t afford it, so they booked the cheaper afternoon ceremony at the super expensive venue they wanted and still planned their mega-luxe reception for the evening at a cheaper venue. I think it’s a little rude, but outside this thread I am not letting my feathers get too ruffled about it… we will find something to do and it will be okay. I just would not do this for my wedding and I think it was a tacky way to arrange things. I will feel bad for the bride when we’ve all already eaten by the time we get to the reception and don’t want to eat any of the food she’s paid for.</p>
<p>I don’t think it is the job of the wedding couple to plan events for guests…other than the wedding itself. I mean really…grandma might want to relax. Aunt Sue might want to take a walk in the park. Uncle Fred might want a beer. The cousins might want to go to a pub. The aunts might want to go shopping. </p>
<p>The majority of the weddings we have attended have wedding websites that include things to do at or near the wedding site. In my opinion, the guests should be their own planners for things other than the wedding. If someone has 150 guests, what are they supposed to do…have a mini reception in between or try to figure out what EACH of those guests wants to do? </p>
<p>Sorry…when they accept the invitation, they know the times of the reception and ceremony, and should make their own plans.</p>
<p>Again, Thumper, I agree they can’t expect a minii-event. It’s the gap that I think is the problem. Most events I get dressed up to go to don’t include a three hour hiatus where I sit around in nice clothes.</p>
<p>Thanks for the interesting perspectives. I am the MOG (and wedding coordinator/planner) and my sense has been that if people are spending $$ to fly across the country, perhaps we should have stuff for them to do (i.e., rehearsal dinner, something more than pizza in the hotel lobby or a run to IHOP across from the hotel after the reception, Sunday brunch…). </p>
<p>B&G are not inclined to do all this stuff, in large part because they are relatively reticent and not big social creatures. Is this something I can comfortably back off on? I just hate for people to feel like “that was it?” B&G are paying for pretty much the entire wedding, live in CA so are not here to work on nuts and bolts, her parents are coming in from the UK and have not been at all involved in planning/funding, and so in a real sense, it feels like DH and I are hosting this thing since it’s in our area. I want be gracious but a) I’m not officially a host and don’t want to step on the IL’s toes, and b) there is only so much I can do.</p>
<p>Note: we are also putting up 15 people at our house during the ten days surrounding these festivities. DH and S2 are catering the food. I am more than a little stretched!</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, we flew from Detroit to Seattle for a wedding and all the bride had planned was a pizza dinner at a nice bar for the out of town guests the night before the wedding-- which we almost missed because we were sight seeing and got caught in traffic. It was nice, but we could have taken or left it, our hotel was right in Olympia and we had lots to keep us occupied. There was a brunch for the out of town guests the morning after the wedding, but we were too tired and wanted to decompress on our own and skipped it. It never occurred to me to think the bride was anything but gracious. With all the hustle and bustle with traveling so far, WE were too tired to do much besides go to the wedding. Our needs were so well attended to in every other way for the entire trip, I couldn’t think anything bad about the B&G.</p>
<p>Garland…then what you are sayi g is that any Catholic having a Saturday wedding can NOT have an evening reception. Sorry…but I do not agree with that. Again…anyone attending will know when they get the invite that there will be a gap of time between the ceremony and reception. They can plan accordingly.</p>
<p>All I want from a wedding is a nice ceremony and a reception afterward (tea and cake is fine!) where I can congratulate the happy couple. I don’t expect to be entertained beyond that. I have to admit we have only been invited to one wedding with a big gap (an hour drive from our house). It was a grad student dh has worked with, but not one in his lab. We were naughty and bagged the ceremony and just went to the Chinese banquet reception which was so over the top that it was extremely entertaining. (The bride changed dresses three times during the reception.) </p>
<p>I think it’s really nice not to have a gap, but I understand that it is sometimes unavoidable.</p>
<p>At our own evening wedding we walked from the ceremony to the reception across campus. Our photographer insisted on making us late for the ceremony as the sun was setting and the background was fabulous. It was not a big deal since we both walked in with our parents and there was no surprise about what the bride was going to look like. It didn’t take that long, but we were probably delayed by ten minutes.</p>
<p>I had a cousin that had pizza and a dance for their rehearsal dinner - everyone was invited - it was more fun than the wedding reception.</p>
<p>I would just like to say that NYC is the easiest city to find a place to kill for few hours. There are a lot of garden/indoor solarium open to public. If anyone just did some research, it is very easy to find a place go to sit for free and just do some people watching - think the Trump Tower on Fifth ([Trump</a> Tower - Midtown West - New York, NY](<a href=“http://www.yelp.com/biz/trump-tower-new-york]Trump”>http://www.yelp.com/biz/trump-tower-new-york)). There are also a lot of roof top bars or hotel bars to kill few hours if you wouldn’t mind spending some money. As a New Yorker, I often carry a pair of flat shoes in my bag if I was wearing high heels. </p>
<p>People can always just say no if they don’t like the program. We were invited to a wedding on a boat to go around Manhattan. I declined - possibility of sea sickness and being trapped some where for hours, nah.</p>
<p>^^^Another option is to see a Broadway matinee show.</p>