<p>If I can see the point of view where some students don’t care if their room-mate is gay, surely it’s not excruciatingly painful for others to see why some kids may be uncomfortable with it.</p>
<p>No-one needs to declare their religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation etc., but some subjects are certainly more touchy than others.</p>
<p>As a side note, my D would not care if she had a gay roomie, but I fully understand kids that would.</p>
<p>If it’s not of your D’s concern, it’s not of yours. End of Discussion.</p>
<p>To some people you can compare a female rooming with a lesbian with a female rooming with a straight guy when it came to undressing in front of them. What’s wrong with feeling uncomfortable walking around in your underwear and undressing in front of someone attracted to your sex. No, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are going to be hit on by that person…but it’s not surprising that someone MAY feel uncomfortable in that situation. Let’s move on. This wasn’t meant to be a gay bashing thread; it was started by a mom who was concerned for her daughter. </p>
<p>Most of the time, you don’t know enough about your future roommate to know if there is going to be any discomfort rooming with them. BUT it just so happens that this gal knew in advance that her roommate was gay. As I said in the above paragraph, what is so astonishing to all of you CC’ers that you can’t understand that this situation MAY be cause for problems and/or uncomfortableness as it might be if she were rooming with a straight male? Is there NOTHING you guys are uncomfortable with? </p>
<p>Enough is enough.</p>
<p>My daughter <em>is</em> rooming with a straight male. They are sharing a two-bedroom apartment.</p>
<p>The schools that “offer” gender-neutral housing, are doing just that–offering it to those who want it. </p>
<p>WOI, I suppose that not many people should be writing on this site in that case. Only someone whose child is in Iraq should be able to comment on the war; or someone who is directly affected by the Israeli conflict be concerned about it. Thank goodness most citizens do not lead such self-centred lives.</p>
<p>Thank you ColumbiaMom. The funny thing is that people that are uncomfortable with the situation, are not bashing gays, but the ones who think no-one should mind a gay roomie, are bashing the rest.</p>
<p>There is a difference between being liberal, and being open to the fact that other opinions exist.</p>
<p>I’m assuming it was her choice to room with a straight male. As I said, not everybody would be uncomfortable with the situation, but it’s no surprise, at least not to me, that some MIGHT feel uncomfortable.</p>
<p>I have been surprised as my kids go through adolescence, how little girls change clothes in front of each other these days – no shared showers at at school, going to practice already in sports clothes, changing underwear in the closet in dorms. I find their modesty interesting if maybe a bit overboard. It just is different than the experience I had of group showers from Jr. High on. </p>
<p>So while I understand why someone (particularly if they have not had much interaction with gays and lesbians) might be uncomfortable with a roommate of the same sex but different orientation, there really might not be that much walking around in underwear and changing clothes in front of each other going on.</p>
<p>Of course, this could be completely the result of the sub-culture we live in and different for kids in other places and other sub-cultures.</p>
<p>Oh, I see, it doesn’t matter whether a female rooms with a lesbian or a straight male cause your girls like to change their clothes in a closet and don’t like to sleep naked or study or watch tv in their underwear or wear skimpy nighties. Well, my daughter DOES like to do these things, so she would not feel comfortable with the above mentioned roommates although we have family members (3 to be exact) who are homosexuals whom we love dearly. Why don’t try to put yourselves in other people’s shoes rather than judging them. Just try to see things from another point of view.</p>
<p>Excuse me, I thought I was just sharing my point of view – which I noted might not be everyone’s. Lighten up.</p>
<p>Newsflash parents: major sex happens in dorm rooms–as it did in 1975. </p>
<p>This is something for your D to decide, a decision based on her comfort level–now or a few weeks into the semester.</p>
<p>Again…D. seems fine with it. As a parent I am concerned about it, for the reasons I mentioned earlier. </p>
<p>Hopefully they will get along well. I will keep you all posted.</p>
<p>Cheers…you know in '75 I dont recall guys or gals being allowed to pull allnighters in the members of the opposite sexes room. Though major sex was likely going on…times have changed.</p>
<p>Angst, colleges all have different policies, but when I was a freshman in a coed dorm in 1970, by the 2nd quarter we had a small network of girls hooked up with guys & creative room swapping going on, so that pretty much everyone girl slept in room with the boyfriend, while roomie was off in another room with another guy’s roomie. By spring, my bf’s roomie had left school because of a low draft number, leaving him with a single, so I moved in. </p>
<p>Going back to a previous generation… my mom, attending an all girls college, used to go on weekends to visit my father at a different college, living in an all male dorm. That involved a little higher degree of deception than my 70’s roommate swapping chain, but yes… the overnight boy/girl thing was going on in 1949 as well.</p>
<p>Oh angst… (pun intended). There was certainly LOTS of sex going on and lots of opp sex overnighters at MIT in 1975… and it’s my opinion that if it was happening at MIT, it was happening other places, too.</p>
<p>(Sad comment: I even remember having to call campus patrol because one guy was beating his girlfriend in the next room–she’d taken the bus from NY to come see him.)</p>
<p>Some schools (Wesleyan, I don’t know where else) offer gender-neutral housing, where your gender is not a factor in your housing assignment.</p>
<p>Some might wonder why this is offered as an option at some schools; take a moment and ask your self: why?</p>
<p>Could it be because some will feel comfortable living and sleeping in a sexually dynamic living situation and some will not? I was under the impression that choice was now a modern liberal axiom.</p>
<p>Would it be considered intolerant to opt out of living and sleeping in the same bedroom with a complete stranger of the opposite sex?</p>
<p>Would this be bigoted or simply a matter of comfort and choice?</p>
<p>Some may feel comfortable with both; some, one or the other; others may feel discomfort in either situation.</p>
<p>Should such choices be respected, or should they be condemned? Does everyone need to make the same choice in order to avoid condemnation? </p>
<p>Apparently, some are so sensitive over this issue that they have determined the correct language and grammar to use while discussing it…imagine living with that every day after bio-chem.</p>
<p>I was locked out of my girl’s freshman dorm room in 1975 while my small town rommate had a ‘visit’ from her home town boyfriend,
Buddy.</p>
<p>One of my classmates had an affair with one of our married professors in her girl’s dorm room. Why he thought she would keep THAT a secret is beyond me. We heard ALL the details. </p>
<p>So yeah, angst, there is heaps and heaps of sex happening in dorm rooms. Then and now.</p>
<p>Well said FountainSiren…</p>
<p>angst:</p>
<p>Being an old fogey, my unhappy college experience dates from the 1960s despite such things as parietal hours, “book” in the door, three feet on the floor regulations.<br>
You are wise to let your D take the lead here. It may well be a total non-issue; but if the roommate makes your D feel uncomfortable, your D should certainly request a room change.</p>
<p>My rm/mt was straight but boy crazy. Ne’er a night came without at least one guy in the room. My typewriter, checks, clothes, all went a’missing. Not until rm/mt left school (pregnant) did I get to sleep. Needless to say, worst grades throughout college, that first semester. RA was not much help.
My advice, if any rm/mt situation screams 'trouble", CHANGE ROOMS!!!</p>
<p>Nevermind…this thread will just lead to more prejudice</p>