I sympathize - my S is also dragging his feet on a decision but at least he is down to two! I didn’t notice of you said where you live - is travel distance/costs a factor? Was she able to revisit any after acceptance?
I work at a small company in Waltham and two of my co-workers are Brandeis grads (one recent, one not).
Both are quite smart.
If JHU and Chicago were the dream schools, and she is seeking intellectual engagement, she may find it at Brandeis.
In terms of choosing Brandeis over Emory – I’m sure she could decide if she prefers Atlanta over the Boston area or vice versa.
What is Brandeis like these days physically? I worked there 15 years ago and at the time, common areas, research buildings, and classrooms were extremely run down. The continuing ed departmnt where I worked was in a trailer. In short, the physical plant/infrastructure was in much worse shape than elsewhere. Is this still the case? It just seemed strapped for cash. Emory did not seem to have that issue when we visited in 2011.
She can choose one (and yes, I’d pick Emory too!)… And see if any college on the nacac list of colleges that miscalculated yield will appeal more (it’ll be published in a week).
McGill! Great international university, fantastic European/international-feeling city, consistently a bargain in comparison with US schools. A wonderful way to expand her horizons without having to go TOO far away and without the expense and inconvenience of transatlantic flights.
Sunday Evening Update - a day of tears (mine) - over lunch she told me she is not comfortable committing anywhere; each school has its drawbacks i.e. no campus / too small / too 'daunting / doesn’t offer the ‘right’ classes etc. I even dangled the Gap Year carrot upon submission of deposit etc. No decision…no excitement…no anticipation…no nothing! I’m completely fed-up! This college lark has cost me a fortune with travelling around the country to tour every campus except one and attended Admitted Students days / formal tours; test prep out the gazoo / college counselors / summer intensives etc etc I am so upset. Wake me when it is OVER!!!
Thanks for all of your amazing advice last week; I truly appreciated EVERY word!
=((
So sorry to hear about all the aggravation. So, what happens next? If she doesn’t feel “comfortable committing anywhere” what does she think she’ll do next year?
Try this: Don’t feed the machine. Act very dispassionate, as if you don’t care what she does. Just say, very calmly and firmly, that if she does not go to college she will have to get a full-time job to support herself. She’s not going on any expensive gap programs or traveling around the world. Alternatively you can tell her that if she does not commit to any of these colleges by 6 pm on Tuesday, you will be selecting one for her and sending the deposit.
@LBowie I wouldn’t say that Brandeis is ‘run down’ it just did not have a very energetic vibe; many of the buildings reminded me of post war Eastern Europe, LOL! A distinct smell of Pot (and Pot Noodles!) in the dorm we visited, and I couldn’t quite get past the coin-op laundry machines; for $70K a year, a free wash would be nice! One thing that really struck me on the day we visited was the apparent lack of racial diversity; the vast majority of the kids I saw were white, closely followed by Asian and I saw just two AA kids, I didn’t like that, but maybe my observation was off.
The campus is huge (at least that how it seemed). It was cold, damp and really uninviting (except for the Welcome Center), however, all of the kids I saw seemed happy - and VERY friendly toward each other, that was nice.
One of my kids decided at 8 pm on May 1st. What finally decided it for him: he opened the webpages for his intended major for the two schools and looked at the course descriptions. While they covered much the same material, the approaches were very different, and that is how he decided – hands-on vs. theoretical.
My other kid did a spreadsheet of all the qualities that were important to him (which had very little to do with what schools try to sell to students), weighted each criterion and then rated them from 1 to 10. He then sat on it for a few days to see how that decision felt.
Please let your D know she has some excellent options. This admissions cycle was brutal this year, and she did rather well to have so many great choices.
@brantly I don’t know. I’ve taken myself off to bed, I just need to get away! There will most definitely not be any Gap anything without a commitment; I understand she is disappointed, I get it. I feel a bit that way myself, however, life is chock-full of disappointments and sometimes we have to go with it - I’m happy to pay a deposit now and see if something else shakes out over the summer, but I honestly cannot see us shelling out big $ when she feels this way…
And frankly, I think she has some very good options - nothing to be disappointed about!
Call the college/guidance counselor first thing this morning and have them talk to your daughter - or a teacher your child likes and respects. Sometimes the same advice coming from a non-parent seems less loaded. Worth a try.
She has great choices. There shouldn’t be disappointment from parent or child at this point. Everyone can wallow for a few days post decision date but time to move on now unless she prefers to get a job and support herself.
"I couldn’t quite get past the coin-op laundry machines; for $70K a year, a free wash would be nice! "
It is very, very common to have to pay for laundry at college.
Rotman Commerce (at University of Toronto) or McGill Desaultels for BCom? Today is the decision deadline.
Son had acceptances from B-schools at BU, Emory, Northeastern, Middlebury, William&Mary, UBC, York, Queens’ Smith School etc, but now it is a toss up between Rotman Commerce (U of Toronto or McGill Desaultels for BCom. Any comments?
Even at schools where the machines don’t appear to take quarters, students swipe their cards and the cost of the machine is deducted from their accounts.
My kid’s school charged many things a la carte - laundry, gym, health center, some gym classes, etc. Some people complained about it, but for me it made more sense because I rather pay for things my kids used and keep the student fees down (their school’s student fees were lower than other schools’).
@dadseekinghelp, Start a new thread so you get responses helpful to your situation. And ask @DadTwoGirls to weigh in. He’ll probably have some insight.
Speaking of extra fees – I was really annoyed when my son’s laboratory science classes required additional fees for materials. And they were not insignificant – $150 or so. If he had majored in English or Religion, we could have saved a bundle.
These are things you don’t find out until it’s way too late. (Not that it really would have made a difference.)
^That’s extremely common–art classes, anything with extra material needed–often have extra fees. (English majors buy many, many books–and their classrooms don’t need materials, so i’m favor of them not needing to pay for them).
@momo2x2018 Do you in your gut have a sense where she would feel most happy? It kind of sounds like she just might not be ready to go off to college. Disappointment and/or let down are typical, but most kids have rallied by now and are ready to get excited. If she isn’t, it could indicate she has doubts about going. I know spending a fortune to visit these schools is frustrating, but it’s a drop in the bucket compared to sending her to school if she doesn’t want to go. Sorry this isn’t a joyous time for you, you have every right to feel disappointed too.
I know a young woman who was disappointed in her admissions (and she got into an Ivy, but considered it a lesser one!!). She waited a year and applied again and had worse results, but was ready to accept where she did get in. The intervening year was not especially productive but in time it will all fade. Just have faith things will work out no matter what happens now.
Not to add to your troubles but I always get dismayed when kids reject BU based on “no campus.”