Umm, I went to a wedding in the UP. While we had a wonderful time, it was more casual than we were used to for an evening, semi-formal reception. It was a buffet and there were no assigned seats, though the groom’s mother had “reserved” a couple of tables for her NYC-area based guests. There was wine available and a limited bar until the buffet was closed and then it became a cash bar, which I didn’t realize and was a little embarrassed when I ordered a drink and didn’t have any cash. However, this was a combination of people from many parts of the country, with extremely diverse political, religious, and social views and a great time was had by all. I think weddings create an aura of tolerance…everyone is there to celebrate the couple…not to debate.
Massmom, the guest list for D1’s wedding was much as you described. I was concerned enough beforehand to tell Dh that if anyone (referring mainly to some of his relatives) started acting ugly, I would have them removed since I knew that he would avoid confronting them over their bad behavior. We were pleasantly surprised by how nicely everyone behaved, especially since we’d witnessed some appalling behavior at other family events.
Decades ago, dh and I had a priest crash our wedding. Even though it wasn’t his parish, he decided he should concelebrate the nuptial Mass and the young associate pastor was too stunned (or afraid) to object. He then attended the reception, found the drink offerings not to his taste and went to the club’s bar to order a “Virgin Mary” (X3), signing my dad’s name to the checks.
Our Michigan wedding was held in the Martha-Mary Chapel at Greenfield Village and the reception was at Lovett Hall (Henry Ford’s one-time private ballroom), very formal. This is partly why the plastic mustache incident I posted above was not going over so well with some who were taking their elegant selves and the event a might too seriously.
@Silpat: Your priest story is outrageous. Just wow.
One of my kids recemtly attended the wedding of his boss’s daughter. It was a very formal affiar at a 5-star hotel. For the dinner, all the co-workers, mostly under 35, were seated at one table. They were having a great time, until one of them noticed that the boss was sending them “dirty looks” from the family table across the room. Oops!
@ChoatieMom, for my niece’s wedding, there were two little boys (5/7) in the ceremony. As soon as it was over, she presented them with spy-style rear view glasses and earpieces so they could provide “security” for the reception! It kept them feeling involved and well-behaved.
S & DIL had masks, silly hats and moustaches for the guests at their wedding. It takes all kinds. 
You can dress us up, but you can’t take us out, as DH always says…
We joke that there is always at least one Drunkle (Drunk Uncle in some way or other) at every wedding. That is the only man/woman that gets out of hand 
At my wedding evidently my H’s cousin started an argument with another cousin. The first cousin was known to have issues and the family kept a close eye on him. As soon as he started stepping out of line my H’s uncle intervened and got the first cousin to peacefully leave. My H and I never had any clue, nor did any of the other guests except those few relatives on my H’s side who were in the know about cousin 1’s problems.
Fast forward several decades and my elderly dad has lost his filter and will talk politics ad nauseum and bait others with different views. We all keep tabs on him at events and redirect conversations.
At our wedding we did have a seating chart. After putting it together, we were left with 8 guests (the tables seated 8) in four groups of 2 where the groups had almost nothing in common. So we put them together. Afterward several of them thanked us for seating them at such a pleasant and interesting table.
I am hard pressed to think of any case of badly behaved guests at any of the weddings that I have attended (including my own). I don’t think that you need to worry about it unless you are inviting guests that you know are likely to be an issue.
Unless some of these guests have caused public scenes in the past, I don’t think you should worry. I have never been to a wedding where there was a guest behavior problem.
Only “negative” guest behaviors I can think of are a child running head first into a pond (oops…) and someone who knew it was not meant to be bringing a young child to a small adults only wedding.
I have been to weddings where alcohol flowed freely and things were said that maybe should not have been, but it’s always been relatively entertaining and not mean-spirited.
Don’t do assigned seating and everyone will hang with their types. Easy.
The more I read this thread the more I’m convinced “why do we make seating charts?” I’ve actually always hated walking into a wedding and worrying about that assigned seating - memories of bad 4th grade seating charts!!! The task to me is such a burden and time suck for the bride/groom to figure out!!!
The seating is for,the table…not the actual chair. So there is some choice!
I know how it works. Still not a fan of the process - and I do think it can be a real headache for the B/G.
No… I’ve been to weddings where there was a card at a specific place on the table for each person. It isn’t just “for a table” a lot of the time.
I’ve been to more than one wedding where I am assigned to one seat. And I haven’t been to too many weddings.
The most fun ones have been free for all seatings
Most people know how to behave at a wedding, and do not conduct themselves as if they are on the Jerry Springer show. At least in my world.
We attended 3 weddings in 2017 and no one behaved badly or brought up politics thankfully
I had crashers at my own wedding - sort of. My sister was in HS at the time and invited a bunch of her friends to the reception. Whatever…
And I have been to events with no assigned seats where one person or one couple ends up sitting far away from their friends because there were no fully open tables or where all the friends end up at different tables because they didn’t get into the room fast enough to snag a table. That may work out OK, but often weddings bring together people that haven’t seen each other in a while and don’t live nearby. They want to sit together. The other thing that happens is that people in the know rush into the room and reserve a big table or two for their people, while the rest scramble. It is not always possible to add a couple to a table due to the size.
I would encourage the bride and groom to do a seating chart so that people can sit with those they know and that the “groups” (cousins, her HS friends, his college friends) end up at the same table or near each other. It does take some effort, but well worth it unless it is a tiny wedding where everyone knows each other. Of course it is their decision, but certainly mom can offer advice. Clearly others have a different idea, but just my experience.
This is what my daughter’s venue required for weddings with plated meals.
We had to provide a diagram showing who was sitting where, with each person’s choice of entree indicated. We also had to indicate the locations of children who would need high chairs or booster seats. We had to provide place cards for each person, with the person’s name on the front and the choice of entree on the back. And we had to provide a large table number card for each table and a poster-sized chart indicating each person’s table assignment. (We would also have had to get all this stuff into the right locations ourselves, except that we had a day-of-wedding coordinator who did it for us.)