I don’t think I know any lesbian couples who went to Ivies, but I guess I do know a lesbian couple who recently married and one attended Stanford & the other Berkeley. Although I am not sure if that was for law school or undergrad. What they like to talk about, still, are civil rights cases they worked on in the 60’s & 70’s.
But after youve heard the stories a few times…
( Im just poking fun at the idea that all couples are straight/ that men went to elite schools & their wives attended elsewhere)
When we first moved to Colorado I was told when someone asks ‘what do you do?’ they mean what do you like to do. They are not as interested in your job as your interests. I am in a profession that I do not always like to say what job I do. So I went with that. I say- ‘well I hike , bike and ski. I also love to look for petroglyphs and travel a lot.’ ‘How about you?’
I haven’t been to a college or grad school reunion. I met up with one of my old roommates once and she talked about not wanting to go to her 5th year college reunion because she hadn’t gotten married yet. There’s always something to feel inadequate about if you let it happen!
OTOH, I was loosely planning on going to my college reunion last spring for the first time but one of my close friends died unexpectedly a few months beforehand. He was only 51 and it took the heart out of all of us. I just wanted to see all those people and reminisce about old times, I couldn’t care less what they specifically do. I’d like to know where they live and maybe connect on fb or somewhere. The friend who died invested in hotels a couple of decades ago and didn’t need to work anymore. Who cares? He just took amazing photographs for his own satisfaction. Too bad.
" I am in a profession that I do not always like to say what job I do"
So can you tell us what you do, @rockymtnhigh? You may have already mentioned it before, but you know the aging brain and the two minute memory thing…
I generally never mention what I do, unless I am specifically asked.
Maybe rockymtnhigh is a bill collector or traffic cop.
I’m still not sure why some think you have to come up with a snappy answer if you don’t work. To me, that is a far more insecure response than simply stating one doesn’t work. There are awful lot of couples where having only one source of revenue simply isn’t doable and there is no ability to even choose to stay home with the kids. For me it is a privilege to be able to do that and if you’ve done it for twenty years or more it’s very difficult to “drop back in” to the workforce. Women that work “get that” more than I think the stay at homes even understand.
I think I read somewhere that the best response to “What do you do?” is “…in the event of what?”
OP - do you have to go? It’s your H’s reunion after all. I would know no one at my H’s reunion and maybe I’d go to a brief function but more likely I wouldn’t go to any.
Let him go to the functions while you enjoy Cambridge and Boston!
I’m still not sure why some think you have to come up with a snappy answer if you don’t work.
A breezy answer continues the conversation and is less awkward.
You aren’t obligated to explain, but by finding other common ground for discussion isn’t usually too difficult, unless you are in a group of people with not much life outside work.
“Women that work “get that” more than I think the stay at homes even understand.”
Thank you for that insight. It’s 100% spot on.
FWIW, I was one of those moms who worked - it was a lifestyle necessity since when my kids were little, my husband was an as-yet untenured college professor. It would have been a huge financial mistake for us not to be ready in case he didn’t get tenure - and that readiness required a solid second income. Fast forward a chunk of time and we had the financial freedom which allowed me to work – when I want/wanted to. So I’ve done both – the stay-at-home and the work-full-time-while-raising-a family. Both have their pluses and minuses, something people with insight, imagination and compassion understand. Those who don’t? Avoid them. Life’s too short.
" I am currently taking care of the 6 out-of wedlock children that my children spawned while they are in prison and rehab. And I have a tatoo parlor on the side". Then smile and say- in comparison what I really do sounds boring. So what do you do? (and turn the conversation around).
I doubt that most SAHMs feel they need a snappy answer. But just for the sake of this thread, it is entertaining to consider some 
psychiatrist. I get two responses almost always- 1.oh, then they stop talking
or 2. I have this problem… If I just say physician they always ask what kind. Sometime I just say I work at a hospital but then the questions keep coming. It works a lot better to just say hike, bike and ski and turn the question on them- frequently they are not prepared for that kind of answer so it throws them off some.
One friend who has a very interesting job , instead tells people she is a dental hygienist. That is usually a conversation stopper, LOL.
Spawned in a co-ed prison?
“Case manager for my schizophrenic son” would probably stop the conversation cold, too!
she is watching the offspring while the parents are in prison and rehab. Realized the confusing sentence after it was too late to edit. But you get my drift
I think “what do you do?” is an easy and harmless question to ask and answer. If you’re sufficiently healthy and financially stable to go a reunion (and still married to the person whose reunion it is), you’re way ahead of many people in life satisfaction. For me, talking about my jobs and activities, inside and outside the home, are much safer topics than my husband abandoning me, my daughter getting dumped by her boyfriend, my sister’s ex harassing her for money, my best friend’s struggle to make a living in a new city, my boss fighting with her boss… And by the way, I think dental hygienists’ jobs are very interesting.
Not to get all Harvard about it, but is this an observed problem or a hypothetical problem?
When you say “I’m a SAHM and amateur taxidermist,” or whatever your interests may be, have people responded with a judgmental sniff or snide comments? Or is this an anxiety you feel about something that may happen?
I went to my Harvard 15th last year, and met a number of alumni as well as spouses who were at home. I hope they weren’t feeling this way, but I didn’t observe anybody giving attitude about it. People like me tended to ask “So how old are your kids?”
I also think that if your husband is achieving a lot at work as a result of your carrying a lot of weight at home (which is usually the case), you can legitimately talk about that if you want. “Bill is a partner at Dewey Cheatem and Howe, and I do a lot of client entertaining.”
Off hand, as a non working parent (moi)…wait you did work everyday. And you must be very successful. Have the police visited you in person or by phone? Did your kids call you and/or an attorney? I could go on but there was a vip in the business. Successful beyond anything. Never showed up an event for her kids…working…nanny was always there. Mom died, very young. Two tragedies.