<p>One of my friends never identifies himself when he calls me. He just expects that I would be able to recognize his voice and identify him first. A very strange behavior. Fortunately, his voice is “special” enough that I could recognize him almost always.</p>
<p>Off topic here: at one time when DS was in high school, his female classmate called him on our landline (He did not have his own cell phone back then.) We could sense that he was very uncomfortable when he had to speak in front of us. He only listened and rarely talked back to her. I hope it was not because we were there (it was near where we ate the dinner and we were eating the dinner at that moment.) It was very different when he talked to his male friends - he talked to some of his male friends from time to time on that landline and there was no such an “awkward” moment. It is indeed that he socialized with male friends much more often than the opposite sex friends when he grew up. An exception may be in his early elementary or pre-school.</p>
<p>Jane could just shout, “I’m not here”. It’s only a phone call. It could be handled in many different ways. Most of them will be acceptable.</p>
<p>About business calls, I usually assume a receptionist is answering the phone and their job is simply connecting to a right personel. I consider the nature of business is more relevant than my name. In business, they don’t get to screen who is calling, just the nature of the business.</p>
<p>Our landline phone is just one step evolved beyond a rotary dial, so … it doesn’t do a thing except ring. </p>
<p>Our physicians and pharmacists call fairly often, but the MD’s offices do identify themselves. I don’t see how that can be a matter of confidentiality. If they’d call the same landline number and leave an answering machine message to the effect of “This is Dr. Smith’s office reminding John of his appointment tomorrow at 10 AM,” I’ve gotta think they could do the same thing when they call and get an actual human being. </p>
<p>Any thoughts on business calls? If you want to talk to someone in a professional capacity and only have the office landline number, do you expect to be put through without identifying yourself?</p>
<p>When I call my attorney, accountant, etc - I always identify myself to the person answering the phone. I assume in some cases this means my call goes through immediately instead of the person answering taking a message. Also, I don’t want to waste the time of someone I’m paying by the hour. </p>
<p>A receptionists job is to put you through unless the person requests call screening. They really have no interest in knowing your name, otherwise. So, yes…“Jane, please,” is very efficient and not rude. He or she can always say, “May I tell him who’s calling?” if that information is needed.</p>
<p>At home, H asks but it feels weird. Like, why the heck are you screening my calls? It’s almost pretentious imho.</p>
<p>@frazzled1, H has been receiving calls regarding radiology procedures involved in diagnosing and treating cancer. I think that that is why they hesitate to declare where they are calling from. They aren’t simply from “Dr. X’s office,” they are from the “Radiology Lab at X hospital.” It is somewhat more sensitive that one’s GP, and all they know is that some woman has answered the phone. I could be anyone, such as a daughter with whom he has not yet chosen to share his condition. (We don’t have a D, but you get what I mean.)</p>
<p>Sorry to hear that, Consolation - hope all goes well for him. The radiology office sounds admirably confidentiality-minded. </p>
<p>I work for a small not-for-profit. Everyone wears several hats, so no one is the receptionist. We all answer the phone, and as a courtesy to each other, we ask for the caller’s name if it isn’t provided freely. But when I was an administrative assistant and my duties did include answering the phone, I never worked for anyone who didn’t expect to be told who was on the line. By me, not the caller.</p>
<p>in my experience the big bosses get screened but not so much the worker bees. Of course, that will vary depending on, well, everything. These days many businesses use phone trees to answer and direct calls. No more receptionists. Everything in this area is changing dramatically. </p>
<p>From my perspective, asking the person to identify themselves and/or the organization they are calling on behalf of is not only a matter of etiquette, it’s also helpful in minimizing wasting time with telemarketers, overly rude entitled folks who wrongly dialed my number and other time wasters imposing on my time. </p>
<p>As for conversing on the phone, I also don’t like long chats on the phone unless I have plenty of time and the person calling is a good friend. In most cases, I’d expect and exchange greetings and then cut to the heart of the matter so the call can be wrapped up in 5 minutes or less. While I love long interesting conversations, I prefer to have them in person and when I have plenty of time to engage in them…not when I’m at work or running errands in daily life. </p>
<p>Sorry Consolation. In that case, I would like to think someone, somewhere, asked your husband the best number to use.</p>
<p>Are some posters saying they think screening calls is pretentious? That particular point of view had never occurred to me. I would consider myself pretentious if I believed anytime I called anyone, that individual should drop whatever they were doing and talk to me - right that moment. Even my very best friends don’t always do that, except if I say it’s an emergency.</p>
<p>Well, I generally hang up on telemarketers before they speak during that weird pause during the time that they are alerted to the connection. Is that rude?</p>
<p>Well, I generally hang up on telemarketers before they speak during that weird pause during the time that they are alerted to the connection. Is that rude?>>>>>>>>>></p>
<p>I agree. I screen calls for family while growing up and later, my roommates and I would screen calls for each other as sometimes they’re too busy, not home, or simply didn’t want to talk to that individual for whatever reason and wanted to be diplomatic and private about it. </p>
<p>I never understood people who felt entitled to demand others call them back right away in the middle of the school/work day unless it’s a rare genuine life/death emergency. </p>
<p>@alh: I think you’re right, but just because it is the “best” number doesn’t mean they want to announce themselves to anyone who happens to answer. I think that is reasonable and considerate, given the circumstances. </p>
<p>I’ve noticed that his dentist’s office doesn’t hesitate to identify themselves. :)</p>
<p>I don’t think it is rude to hang up on telemarketers during the pause. But usually I wait to get them on the line and say “take us off your list.” It is my understanding that they have to do so.</p>
<p>I agree with Frazzled. I do think it’s rude not to introduce yourself when you make a call, unless you are so close with the person that they know who you are just by your voice, or you’re having an ongoing communication where it’s obvious. There may be rare exceptions, like a confidential doctor’s call , but in general, it’s polite to identify yourself, as you are the one interrupting the person with your call. When I call Dh’s office or another business, I always identify myself, or if I call a friend’s home and someone whose voice I don’t recognize answers. </p>
<p>Cell phones are different, as the number and usually name of the person calling appears, so I can say, “Hi, Katie” right off the bat when I answer. I still identify myself when I call, though- "Hi Katie, this is Moonchild, " unless the person I called answers “Hi Moonchild!” It’s just good manners. The caller is interrupting the caller, and it’s seems presumptuous not to acknowledge that by at least identifying yourself. </p>
<p>Sure, phone etiquette has changed with the presence of phone calls, but rather tho old rules being thrown out, new rules have been added in. </p>
<p>If I was calling a business for a personal inquiry about their services, I would not introduce myself. I would greet them back and ask my question. </p>
<p>If I was calling a business where there would be contact in the future, I would introduce myself and go about my inquiry. </p>
<p>If I was calling a friend, I would greet them and go about talking with them. They would be able to tell it was me due to the caller ID. </p>
<p>If I was calling someone I have not spoken to before or not close with, I would greet them and say who it was. </p>
<p>If I was calling a family home and I was unsure who is speaking. I would greet them, introduce my name and ask who I wish to speak to. </p>
<p>I would NOT call a number and ask to speak with someone without greeting whoever answered. </p>
<p>I would NOT answer my cellphone to unknown number by “Wassup?” </p>
<p>In my office a caller may ask for me when in fact the nature of their call is handled by the front office staff. So yes, inquiring the nature of the call makes sense. Also screens unwanted sales calls At home I tend to routinely ask “may I a who is calling?” when someone calls and asks for DH. Every so often they ask for one of the kids (who haven’t lived at home in years) or for an old babysitter who , needless to say, hasnt been here in eons.</p>
<p>H has his desk phone forwarded to his cell, and is, IMO, way too polite to salws and marketing people. What I find rude is when some marketing person calls my home and if I make the mistake of answering it and inquiring if it is a marketing call, they hang up on me! Rude!</p>
<p>I too was taught to identify myself when I call someone. I still do unless it’s one of my very close friends whom I know has caller id and knows my voice. We often greet each other with a, “Hey…!” If someone calls for someone else in my family and they don’t identify themselves, I ask for their name. If it’s a name I don’t recognize, I’ll ask what it’s in reference to by saying, “May I ask what you are calling about?” I do think it’s rude for someone not to identify themselves after saying hello, especially on a land line.</p>
<p>Yeah, I think there is a lot of grey area here. I don’t want to be grilled by a stranger who happened to pick up the phone before being allowed to talk to someone if it’s a personal call. “Hi, is Susie home?” doesn’t bother me a bit and I usually wouldn’t ask who it was or what they wanted with Susie. Not my business… </p>
Even my very best friends don’t always do that, except if I say it’s an emergency.</p>
But usually I wait to get them on the line and say “take us off your list.” It is my understanding that they have to do so.</p>