<p>My middle school daughter and I JUST had this conversation on Friday. She had called her little cousin (who had been ill) from my cell phone and my brother/her uncle clearly thought it was me calling. Sure it was only 20 seconds of confusion but she does expect they will “recognize” her voice even thought I always instruct her “This is Jeannie, is Major Nelson available?” is the appropraite method. (been watching a lot of old tv lately) . </p>
<p>In the olden days, my cousins used to answer the phones “Nelson residence.”</p>
<p>My H is a physician with an on-call specialty and so we get phone calls day and night from hospitals and answering services. If H isn’t home and I see it’s the hospital calling, I pick up and instead of saying hello, I say “Dr. PG is on his cell, please call him there.” It may be rude, but with tons of these calls, I don’t have time to say hello and play the game of having them ask where he is. I might as well just tell them. </p>
<p>We have a housekeeper who is Polish and her friends call here and start speaking in Polish. When I say “hello,” they keep going in Polish, or else they fall silent and hang up. Drives us crazy! </p>
<p>I am probably the only one who picks up the house phone, and when someone, and now thinking about it, most all calls on there, and on my cell as well, simply ask for the person the caller wants. “May I speak to John Doe?” is often the first words I hear. If the person that is being sought is myself, I will say so, and that’s when the introduction is usually made. I notice too, that the question is now often, “is this John Doe?”, and my guess is that this is because most numbers given are cell phone numbers and the chances are better these days that the person answering the phone is the one being called. My own kids have learned that they do have to identify themselves to me because I can’t tell who’s who by phone voice, and I’ll immediately ask who’s speaking if they start right in with the request. We’ve had some mix ups when I did not ask, and misidentified which son was calling and making a request. In fact, when all of them were home and in school, if someone called from some team or program, they had to identify which kid they were referring to. Nothing like mixing up a cancellation or change in venue for one kid with another or other such thing to make sure that the first thing we needed to do was identify about whom the caller was calling. </p>
<p>In my opinion, communications etiquette has changed beyond recognition, and it’s still changing.</p>
<p>I have learned from the young people in my family that if you wish to speak to someone in a non-business context, you don’t call them because you might be interrupting something. You send a text message to their cell phone to find out if it’s an OK time to call. Only if you get the go-ahead do you place the phone call.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, this does not work well if you’re calling from a landline.</p>
<p>In business, except for that abomination known as the conference call, the telephone is an almost extinct form of communication. I didn’t work in an office for 20 years (late 1980s to late 2000s), and one of the first things I noticed when I came back to an office environment is that the phones don’t ring anymore. People don’t call. They e-mail. Only if the topic is too confusing for e-mail, and if the other person is not in the same building, would anyone think to pick up the phone. (If they are in the same building, you walk to their office and talk in person.)</p>
<p>For a while, I adjusted to this, but in recent years, there’s a new wrinkle. I used to send e-mails to work colleagues in the evening or on a weekend, when I happened to think of something, knowing that they would see the message the next business day. But now this is rude because most people have smartphones, and they would receive those messages right away, which would interrupt their evening or weekend. </p>
<p>I’ve also offended young people by not responding to their e-mails right away (personal or business). I don’t have a smartphone, so I don’t have 24/7 access to my e-mail. And to them, that’s unthinkable. </p>
<p>Maybe I would be better off just shutting up. The methods for doing that haven’t changed at all.</p>
<p>Great post, Marian. I don’t text and had that function blocked on my phone. I have a cell that only makes and receives calls, nothing else. I’m not on facebook. I have an email account for family that I check every day and another for the rest of the world that I check every couple of days. A new acquintance was trying to make plans for several people to meet for lunch. He called me to check on times since a mutual friend had told him, “alh doesn’t check email every day”. Later someone else told me the group had decided to regard that quirk as “charming”. I think I’ll be able to get away with this since I’m pretty old.</p>
<p>I do like to hang out on this board. Though the recent changes almost scared me off. I talk on the phone with local and far flung friends almost every morning. I’m careful to ask if my call is convenient because I’m really a chatty Cathy. Frequently I’m told, “I’ve got 15 mintues, alh”</p>
<p>I had to call my phone company this morning. The line is dead. It’s an old line and for reasons I cannot comprehend they fail to tightening the connection on the pole. When the weather gets soggy, it frequently gets loose and the line goes dead or static. I was determined to say, This is so and so, as suggested here when a rep comes on line. I had to talk to a recording for 5-10 minutes and when I finally got a live person, I lost all interest in saying This is xyz. </p>
<p>And once again I see we are all discussing, imagining and responding to completely different scenarios. I don’t identify myself to the phone company or the cable company when I call to report trouble (until they had already routed me to the appropriate place) or to a big box store if I’m calling to get their hours. I am going to identify myself to the person answering when it helps that person know how to handle my call: attorney, accountant, doctor, dentist. If I am calling and asking for someone by name, I’m going to identify myself to the person picking up the phone. If I am calling my utility company, I may give my name. It depends if it is local. If I’m calling an 800 number and someone overseas is answering, probably not. When I call the propane company (which is local) I give my name and chat for a while with Betty at the front desk. When she finally puts me through to Mike, who’s in charge of the local office, I chat some more. In return for my chatting, I got a 5 cent a gallon price reduction last fill-up. It may not be worth it to you but it is to me. Also, it just makes the my world a little more pleasant. </p>
<p>In my business I have found that phone appointments are becoming more commonplace. There was a time when I would just play phone tag until reaching my target. Now, it’s much more common to pre-schedule a phone conversation over email. This happened just last week with someone sending me an email to schedule a phone call for last Tuesday. Tuesday came. I called at the appointed time and we talked for roughly 5 minutes. This sort of convo didn’t used to require a pre-arrangement.</p>
<p>Another thing younger people do not do is voicemail. Frequently these messages will not get heard.</p>
<p>I work from home. We have a landline, with phones in many parts of the house. If the phone rings, I’m never far away from one. With a cell, I’d have to carry it with me everywhere in the house, which seems like a royal pain. Only family and a few close friends even have my cell number, and I only have that phone turned on when I’m out of the house. I use it on average maybe once a week. (And no, I’m not a Luddite - I’m actually very tech-savvy.) Not only is the landline more more comfortable for me, but the call quality is better. I appreciate the convenience of a cell when I’m away from home; it’s certainly a useful device. But I don’t want to be tethered to my technology!</p>
<p>An increasing number of people in my life have only my cell number, and I do carry my cell phone everywhere in the house whenever possible, and it is a pain.</p>
<p>Fortunately, it’s an old dumb phone, which means it’s small enough to fit in a pants pocket. But women’s pants don’t always have pockets!</p>
<p>And like Booklady, I’m very disappointed with the sound quality on cell-to-cell calls. I remember the old days when you could actually understand what people were saying on phone calls. Today’s smartphones are ingenious and incredibly versatile devices, but they’re rotten telephones.</p>
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<p>Yes. I forgot about that. But that’s one development I actually like. It’s ironic, though, that we use e-mail (a newer technology) to arrange the phone call (which uses older technology).</p>
<p>I’ve also noticed that many people place business calls from their personal cell phones. We use our office phones so little that we don’t understand all the subtleties and rules. It’s easier to just use our familiar cell phones, and it generally doesn’t add to the bill.</p>
<p>I own a small business. Somehow I got onto a list of businesses that use cash advances on their credit card receipts. It’s a really bad deal unless you need cash. Really bad deal. I am so not interested and further, I never will be interested. Nevertheless, I get phone calls, almost daily, from people who have bought this list. All the time. They call and call and call and act like they are my very best friend and that my screener (i.e. sales associate with phone duty) would be doing a terrible disservice by not putting them right through to me. They are wasting my time, and my staff’s time, and tying up my phone line. I have no problem being rude to them – they’ve been told to take me off their list at least 100 times, and that it’s a bad list with bad leads. </p>
<p>More to the point, when calling a business, you might not need the owner – maybe one of my product specialists can give you better and more accurate answers.Give your name, and tell the person you <em>are</em> talking to what you need. If you are calling me, the person answering the phone is not clueless!</p>
<p>With the exception of the texting bit, the “young people” you know sound awfully similar to some older relatives who are tail end of Greatest Generation or Silent Generation regarding phone calls. Only thing is that they do allocate certain hours when it’s ok to call. </p>
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<p>Although I am part of that generation and actually know 40-50 somethings with the same mentality, I regard this reaction as that of the overentitled self-absorbed who feel the whole world revolves around them. </p>
<p>They seem to not only forget that not everyone has smartphones, but more importantly…not all of us have the free time or the inclination to drop everything to engage in idle non-genuine emergency type chitchat/texting…especially in the middle of the workday or in other venues when being absorbed by one’s phone IS RUDE…like a classroom in the middle of lecture, religious ceremonies, theaters, social outing among friends, dates, etc. </p>
<p>And yes, plenty of other folks in my age group and younger have remarked at the rudeness of folks with such attitudes. Especially when they fiddle around with their cell phone on dates. The last part never made sense to me. If one’s so engrossed with texting/calling others to the point of effectively ignoring the folks around them in meatspace…especially a date, what’s the point? </p>
<p>Is that really what your generation calls it? :)</p>
<p>eta: okay, checking out urban dictionary and see it is really so. Originally I read it as my generation might have used “meat” as a slang. As in “fresh meat” “meat market” etc :(</p>
<p>I have never heard of that term in my entire life and will never be using it. Sounds so wrong…</p>
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While not having a smartphone or 24/7 access to your email is not unthinkable, it is somewhat of an inconvenience. Many things are done trough email or through access to the internet. </p>
<p>The clubs I’m involved with on campus all use GoogleDocs, email, Facebook, and Instagram to communicate. While you will receive in-person notifications of events, the fastest way you will receive information is through those listed above. </p>
<p>If someone does not have a smartphone or 24/7 access to email, they should take advantage of the time that they do have access to it. I don’t expect someone, generally a school official or professor, to respond to my email right away, but a response back in expected by the end of the day or early the next morning. </p>
<p>My recollection from my childhood (in the south) is that people typically did not first identify themselves when they called to ask to speak to somebody. But most of the time it was a personal call from somebody you wanted to talk to. We weren’t inundated yet by business and fundraising calls. You said, “Could I speak to Jane, please?” Then, in the background, you’d hear, “Jane! It’s for you!” Then, Jane would pick up. Or, you’d hear Jane say, “Who is it?” and Jane’s mom would say, “Who’s calling, please.” “It’s John Smith,” you’d say. Jane’s mom would then yell, “It’s John Smith!” “Tell him I’ll call him back!” “She’ll have to call you back.” “O.K., thanks.” And you didn’t worry about whether Jane had your number, because it was in the book.</p>
<p>But now, the majority of calls we get on our landline are unwanted, so that old practice is no longer effective. If somebody calls asking for my wife, I always ask who it is before I put her on.</p>
<p>Also, back then, answering “Smith residence” was not for anybody who lived there–but that’s what the maid said if she answered the phone while working there.</p>
<p>During my childhood in the south, I was taught to answer the phone, “Smith residence, alh speaking” probably because my father was a doctor who did frequently have patients or the hospital or colleagues calling and it was important callers know they had the correct number as quickly as possible. I did not ask any question of the caller and immediately went to find the adult they were asking for. When I learned to write, I was taught to take a message.</p>
<p>I don’t mind the sound quality of my cell phone when there’s good reception. The ring tone on the other hand is best on my sole surviving rotary phone.</p>
<p>I like it when people make phone appointments. I can set aisde time to talk and not hurried. </p>
<p>“IIn business, except for that abomination known as the conference call, the telephone is an almost extinct form of communication. I didn’t work in an office for 20 years (late 1980s to late 2000s), and one of the first things I noticed when I came back to an office environment is that the phones don’t ring anymore. People don’t call. They e-mail. Only if the topic is too confusing for e-mail, and if the other person is not in the same building, would anyone think to pick up the phone. (If they are in the same building, you walk to their office and talk in person.)”</p>
<p>Completely agree. E-mail is what’s used. People don’t call, they email to set a time to talk on the phone. I maybe get 1-2 voicemails a month.</p>
<p>My DH’s business is still very dependent on the telephone. Emails are only for solidifying details. Negotiating deals is still primarily done by phone or less often, in person.</p>
<p>DH has a large home office. His phone rings constantly. It bugged the crud out of me for months. Now I kind of just tune it out, and the phone downstairs is on a low volume ring.</p>