<p>I told my husband the other day that I was thinking about letting my hair go to its natural color, which now would be mostly gray. He said that he thought I should keep it colored because that is what most women do. It was very funny because I don’t think he even thinks about those things.</p>
<p>My husband is not a big makeup guy either. He tells me I wear just enough,which isn’t very much. I wonder what all these guys have in common?</p>
<p>NSM, maybe the sports jersey is what you need to wear the airport, beautifully accessorized of course.</p>
<p>Re: your “feast or famine” comment, NSM. I think your husband probably has a medical issue – the kind a whole branch of the pharmaceutical industry has capitalized on. If he’s friends/acquainted with his regular doctor, maybe he would be more willing to talk to a doctor he does not know socially or otherwise?</p>
<p>He isn’t friends with his current doc. He became friends with the doc who did his surgery abroad. </p>
<p>But, I agree, after thinking about the situation and about comments people have made in this thread and via PM, I suspect a medical issue.</p>
<p>I’ve always been a tom-boy and don’t like dressing up. I don’t wear makeup, dye my hair, do nails, etc. I’m just about to break on the hair dye thing–because EVERYONE else does. They have an unfair advantage in looking younger. (I need all the help I can get–my baby is starting kindergarten and I’m old enough to be the mom of a lot of the other moms.)</p>
<p>Once, many years ago, I bought a sexy (I thought) little nightgown to surprise H for his birthday. He was already in bed when I walked into the room. As soon as he saw me he burst out laughing. Big laughs. I went back in the bathroom and cried. It was mean of him, but he explained that it was so “NOT me” it did sort of look ridiculous. (I kept the nightgown, wore it occasionally through the years-- it became a joke between us.)</p>
<p>Whenever I have to dress up to go somewhere with H, I always ask him, “How do I look?”
and he ALWAYS says “You look GRREAT!” without even looking at me.</p>
<p>I mentioned this on another thread.
Years ago, when still the often-harried mother of a young child, I had my hair cut in a new style with bangs. Several weeks after the haircut, we were getting ready to go out. I had obviously taken some care with my appearance (I was in a dress!). My husband looked at my bangs and said…“Are you doing that to your hair on purpose?”</p>
<p>Now my H likes makeup- but as I get older it is more of a PITA and yes I am emphasizing that- to put on.
I can’t see, I have to use a 15X magnifying mirror and even still if I get close enough, the brushes are too long!
I can go on and on-
So usually I hardly wear any- but as a redhead with very fair, very dry skin, I still wear something- even if it is just lip gloss and primer.</p>
<p>hey- I didn’t start this tangent;)</p>
<p>So if I am going to look * natural* it could take two hours to get ready to my satisfaction re: makeup-clothes etc.</p>
<p>If I am going to a club & I figure it is gonna be dark so no body is gonna freak if this 50+ yr old is wearing thick eyeliner, than I may do that.
H likes that for some reason. I * rarely* ever wore it like that when I was young enough to do so, but I was playing around one day and had what I considered heavy makeup and he really liked it- if you know what I mean.</p>
<p>Classy guy
:rolleyes:</p>
<p>& ya know what he really likes?
The pushup bra -tight jeans & heeled boots- I don’t wear the boots if I am gonna be standing up at a club all night- but I do wear the pushup- with 34DD it is pretty impressive and I admit at times I like the attention-
But most of the time I am appropriate- I don’t consider dressing like Goldie Hawn or Cher appropriate- even though they are older than me- I haven’t had as much surgery as they have!</p>
<p>But really- it isn’t always about what you look like- if they miss that you used to buy clothes for a night out then they should USE THEIR WORDS!
WHen my H was unfaithful, before we were married- it was with someone ( IMO) who was dumber than I was- who certainly had a dorkier career than I did) and was a crappy dresser and not as cute to boot!
( H agrees)
I was insulted- I but now I realize that guys are looking for different- not better-
I mean look at who Sandra Bullocks H wrecked his marriage for.
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<p>It sounds like you are a lucky woman with a great husband – he is telling you the truth and he doesn’t have to look at you, because in his eyes you probably always look great. He’s not looking at your face or your hair or what you are wearing… he’s looking at the inner you. </p>
<p>(The flip side would be a husband who berates you on your looks, criticizing your weight, etc. )</p>
<p>The best makeup, IMO, makes you look like you’re not wearing any. No eye shadow, no heavy mascara, no lipstick look.</p>
<p>I’ll bet Bill Clinton told Hilary he hated makeup and big hair.</p>
<p>I bet Hilary didn’t care.</p>
<p>Oh, I think she cared, just chose to use him for what he was getting her. Her husband cheated on he endlessly, yet she stayed. Worst possible role model for my DDs as far as I’m concerned.</p>
<p>Hey – you ladies married to men who don’t notice when you get your hair done and dress up – they are guys. They don’t ask for directions, either… and they probably leave the toilet seat up every time they use the bathroom. And have you ever noticed that they can’t manage to find basic supplies in the kitchen, even though they have been in the same place for past 15 years? </p>
<p>If you want to be married to a male, then some things just come with the territory.</p>
<p>^^I don’t agree. I think Hilary looks classy, while he looks immature.
She took the “for better or for worse” vow very seriously.<br>
At this point she doesn’t need him at all, yet she stays.</p>
<p>“Are you doing that to your hair on purpose?”</p>
<p>Thanks, mafool. This gave me my biggest laugh today!</p>
<p>Oh please, Bill is making the millions that bought her house in Georgetown where she olds court in DC and her secure financial future. He brings her a lot of international currancy. It is absolutely a business deal.</p>
<p>Classy? I’m glad that my DDs and their contempories see her as pathetic.</p>
<p>Okay - C’mon group!</p>
<p>The only way Bill and Hillary (or any other political couple) should be in this discussion is if either one is a CC poster. </p>
<p>NSM - I do think you are on to something with the sports team shirt. As I said earlier, sometimes WE are the ones who don’t GET it.</p>
<p>Sometimes we don’t pay attention to what our spouse likes. I think for my DH, when he sees me in sports stuff, he appreciates that I try to stay in shape. I think it reminds him of the younger and more carefree me. So, that is what he finds “sexy.” I had to learn that a dress with sequins was never going to be the ticket with him - not that he wouldn’t say it was nice - but I believe it just seems less approachable.</p>
<p>You are far more cynical than I, Redroses. You and I see marriage differently, so I doubt that we would agree on this. ( And let’s not turn this thread into political commentary. 
)</p>
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<p>Agree.</p>
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<p>That’s a really intriguing concept, Poetgrl. I’ve been prone to deep clinical depression virtually my entire life, and as a result it really seems to have taken a toll on my body over the past 10-12 years. I’ve come to look a lot older than I actually am (early menopause; hair falling out, almost totally gray, 40 lbs heavier than 10 yrs ago, rosacea and melasma. :rolleyes: I look in the mirror and see a total train wreck. And lately, I always feel wrung out. You know you’re in trouble when your younger sister’s (by 3 years and 4 months) friends, whom you’ve never met say to you, “Oh nice to meet you! You must be So 'n So’s mother!”:eek: Yep. It’s happened to me on no less than 4 separate occasions. Now I’ve taken to dying what’s left of my hair before I visit her in Maryland. Just in case…LOL! To H’s credit, he tells me I’m beautiful all the time (you wouldn’t know it from my prior posts, but in many other ways, he’s a really great guy). But, I haven’t felt beautiful in years.</p>
<p>I wonder if you can fake your way out of depression. It seems like it might take a lot more energy than I’ve got right now, though. I’ve decided it’s time to see someone, though I’d rather stick a fork in my eye before going back on meds.</p>
<p>Poetsheart: bravo!</p>
<p>Happpy to leave Hilary out of this:)</p>
<p>Could not agree more that happiness is often a choice. And also that it requires work.</p>
<p>Poetgrl, any links to studies</p>