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<p>I don’t know if you can fake you way out of it but you can talk yourself out of it. BUT it does take practice and the right tools. Try to find someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s done wonders for me. Hugs.</p>
<h1>578:</h1>
<p>No, I do not believe that you cannot fake your way out of a clinical depression. You may be able to fake yourself out of a situational down period or depression. But if we are talking about brain chemistry, that is something else.</p>
<p>Indiana 91-- I’m glad! Laughing is underrated. I laughed then and I laugh now when I recall that day.</p>
<p>He is still clueless. We still have “issues.” But he is a good man.</p>
<p>One can’t fake one’s way out of clinical depression, but there are things that take the edge off. I believe Norman Gould Cousins wrote a book about the palliative power of laughter.</p>
<p>I tend toward sadness, and I have come to understand that it’s just another color. I am very funny, in stand-up kind of way, in my classes, and the sadness just comes along, like a rider on a horse.</p>
<p>The more I fight it, the more problematic.</p>
<p>I had a tough childhood, and it has been diagnosed as PTSD and not depression.</p>
<p>And then not being able to breathe because of the asthma doesn’t help.</p>
<p>But there are still so many things to enjoy while I’m here on our little blue planet.</p>
<p>The hair story reminds me of the time my sister-in-law got married and her sister and I were in the wedding. We’d both had our hair done and we both showed up with “big” hair. My husband looked at both of us, smiled and said, “You look like you both stuck your finger into the same electrical socket.” </p>
<p>To keep this post on topic, NSM, I downloaded into my Kindle “The Sex Starved Wife: What to do When He’s Lost Desire”. (The Kindle is actually my husband’s so all orders go to his e-mail and I sure hope he noticed the title.) So far, (about 24% of the way through) I am finding it very good. I just finished the chapter on biological causes and coincidentally DH’s endocrinologist’s office called today saying he has an appointment tomorrow. I am hoping to hand him the list of causes I wrote down today and ask him nicely if he will bring this up to his doctor tomorrow and discuss it with him. There is a chapter in the book about how to broach the subject, so I’m going to read that before initiating a conversation. The book is helpful because it makes it seem like it’s a lot less about me and much more about him while offering (haven’t gotten to it yet) solid suggestions on actions to take. I’m not sure if it’s the book or the thread or both, but I am feeling a renewed desire to try to make this work. If anyone wants to send positive energy my way re broaching the subject and that DH will choose to talk to his doctor, I’d be most appreciative.</p>
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<p>Agreed. That wasn’t really what I was talking about. Clinical depression is something else than mere dissatisfaction with life. </p>
<p>Redroses, I first stumbled on the neuroscience of happiness in several Buddhist texts I was reading. There is one popular book, The Buddha’s Brain: The Nueroscience of Happiness, which is interesting.</p>
<p>Then, it turns out my D is majoring in neuroscience and I have seen some of the clinical stuff…She is, for example, the one who told me that if you cry tears of happiness they actually have a different chemical composition than tears of sadness…hmmm.</p>
<p>Also, if you smile, real or not, it releases the same exact chemical in the body…etc…</p>
<p>The study of what causes happiness is fairly new and, to me, really fascinating. So much time has been spent on the pathologies, so little on the joy, in our field. I’m excited to hear more as the field progresses.</p>
<p>(sorry, off topic)</p>
<p>ETA: cognitive behavioral theory is a wonderful tool! Truly effective.</p>
<h1>582–cannot edit. I did not mean to post it that way!! Bad edit.</h1>
<p>No, I do not believe that you can fake your way out of a clinical depression.</p>
<p>That’s what I meant.</p>
<p>I am off to pick up my husband - who just got back in town. This thread helps keep a positive perspective on the things I have to be grateful for.</p>
<p>Poetgirl you have symptoms of low thyroid (hypothyroid) issues - hair loss, depression, weight gain. Assuming your doc checks your thyroid levels regularly…if not run to get 'em checked. Google around - there’s lots on the net about subclinical thyroid issues and diet and alternative med stuff. Thyroid issues can be dreadful. Talk about a mood killer!</p>
<p>And, men DO get hypothyroid disease tho doc’s aren’t so likely to look for it in men as in women. Know this from family experience. Men with low thyroid will be exausted and depressed and the last thing they’ll want is sex.</p>
<p>Hugcheck, you mean poetsheart…
And, good catch about the thyroid.</p>
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<p>Sending positive energy your way, mimk6…</p>
<p>And good wishes for you, too, jym626…</p>
<p>Just catching up with this thread. </p>
<p>NSM, PLEASE do not get a Yankees shirt. Really. I grew up in NY - a Mets fan at 9 years old ( I grew up with brothers). I am now a Phillies fan…much to the delight of my DH. I don’t think a Yankees shirt will get you where you want to be. A dislike for the Yankees runs DEEP. Trust me. </p>
<p>On to more serious topics, I do think self talk can help when you’re blue…maybe not for full-blown depression. My yoga teacher introduced me to a book…Louse Hay…Heal Your Life. A bit out there ( I don’t for example believe that thoughts cause cancer) but I think the positive affirmations she recommends actually work. They certainly don’t hurt.</p>
<p>Sending good energy to all who want to be happier.</p>
<p>Thanks poetgrl, will have a look.</p>
<p>poetgrl: I don’t think your post is off topic at all. I really enjoyed it.</p>
<p>"I wonder if you can fake your way out of depression. It seems like it might take a lot more energy than I’ve got right now, though. I’ve decided it’s time to see someone, though I’d rather stick a fork in my eye before going back on meds. "</p>
<p>I don’t think that one can talk oneself out of clinical depression that’s due to a hormonal imbalance any more than one can talk oneself out of diabetes.</p>
<p>I think one can talk oneself out of the blues that aren’t related to a chemical imbalance, however.</p>
<p>What do you have against taking meds? Did you have a lot of side effects?</p>
<p>Due to the fact that I’ve had at least 3 major depressions, I’ll need to be on antidepressants all of my life, my psychiatrist says. When I heard that, I felt very discouraged, but then younger S asked me to consider what my life would be like without the meds. Then, I felt lucky to have been born during a time in which the meds were available, and to have insurance that covers them. I’m fairly sure that my mom and grandmother, too, suffered from clinical depression, but neither got any help for that problem.</p>
<p>“NSM, PLEASE do not get a Yankees shirt. Really. I grew up in NY - a Mets fan at 9 years old ( I grew up with brothers). I am now a Phillies fan…much to the delight of my DH. I don’t think a Yankees shirt will get you where you want to be. A dislike for the Yankees runs DEEP. Trust me.”</p>
<p>Hmmm. Maybe I should get a Chicago White Sox shirt since that’s his favorite team…</p>
<p>Sounds like a plan.</p>
<p>Mimk6; good luck. This thread has really helped me take a kinder view point and as a result, this week has been a major improvement on the road my H and I have been traveling. My problem is not the lack of sex but that the blame has been put on my doorstep, for his inability. His interest in suddenly doing things that I am not comfortable with, I believe is only due to his feeling he must go up several notches in order to get some satisfaction. I am being vague because this is something I can’t believe I am talking about but…everyone here has said so many insightful things, I am hoping, someone has an answer for this.</p>
<p>Hm. Viagra or hormone check might help or some visual or auditory aids. I would never do anything I wasn’t comfortable with, but I think it is sad for these guys when they are quite the men they were.</p>
<p>Of course, they blame us. Externalizing is part of their upbringing and coping style.</p>
<p>I know I am generalizing, and this isn’t true in every case.</p>
<p>I guess it gets challenging to love each other through the various diminishments age brings. Especially when we boomers and post-boomers have always been taught to set the bar so high for personal satisfaction.</p>
<p>I think this is a very difficult time when we discover we’re no longer young but we’re not yet old.</p>
<p>I hope for easy transitions for all of us. And that we each have compassion for each other, our spouses and friends.</p>
<p>And if anyone would like a great chuckle on getting older, there is a great YouTube spoof on Beyonce’s Put a Ring On it. I know I can’t link it here, but its called “All the Wrinkled Ladies.” And I see my future. I am not the cute one singing.</p>
<p>MD Mom, that video was amazing. I also, sadly, am not the cute one singing. So funny.</p>