<p>“I’m wondering if an anti-depressant type drug might help him through the “withdrawal” phase of this addiction”</p>
<p>“I’m convinced there’s a physiological element to all additions, including social ones like gambling or online games”</p>
<p>See posts 42 through 58.</p>
<p>Engrisci, thanks for your informative post, as someone who knows little about this game, you offered some insight. While it may be practical to allow some kids to play in moderation, for my son this is not an option. While I agree with a few above that there is possibly more to this, and I do believe it is, it has also exaggerated the problem and he has become much more socially withdrawn, it has become easy now for him to go for weeks and weeks on end without socializing outside of school. For me, seeing a young handsome boy sitting in his room all weekend, in solitude playing a computer game is a very sad and depressing picture. It is like my heart breaks every time I see that, to me, a high school kid should be out socializing, pursuing new friendships, movies, parties, etc…he has withdrawn pretty much from anything and everything he once did. He has been able to hide it well, very few suspect he has changed much, who do not know him well.
I am determined, his computer is out of his room, I possess the games and I have a good support system in place from the relatives visiting for Christmas, I will not back down. I personally do not want to try to go the medication route RIGHT NOW, but if at some point in the future, feel its necessary, I would consider it. Thank you to all once again for your continued help, you have no idea how this is a daily source of strength for me to wake up to. Have a wonderful day and a merry Christmas.</p>
<p>Is it possible that there was an underlying depression or outside problems or pressures that lead him to see WOW as an “escape?” It could be that until those issues are confronted and resolved, the urge to return to the gaming world will continue. Perhaps a visit to a therapist is in order? Even if there was no previous problem or stressor, a trained therapist might be able to help him using behavioral training to handle the craving to return to the game. The therapist might also be able to give you some support and suggestions for dealing with him.</p>
<p>I’m not trying to “medicalize” this problem, but sometimes professional help is a godsend (I speak from experience).</p>
<p>Momneedsadvice, thanks for your take on this, yes, there could be a bigger issue here and i am going to get in touch with a therapist after the new year and see if we can do some furhter looking, hope everyone had a very merry Christmas!! Things here are being taken one day at a time, he told me how much he misses playing and that its hard to suddenly stop and I told him I totally sympathize with him, but that it is non negotiable and the game is not welcome in our house PERIOD. I will stick to it because I have seen the havoc it can wreak firsthand and I have no interest whatsoever in going through that hell again…will keep you posted. Thanks for staying in touch everyone!! Happy New Year!!:)</p>
<p>Well today was a better day, he did download a trial version but then said he was getting sick of it, and at my urging, erased it. i told him in no uncertain terms that we will do daily checks and if even a trial version is found, his computer will be removed from his room until the next break, and believe my my resolve is strong and I will not hesitate. I think he senses this and today as was yesterday, things were fairly smooth going…however I am taking it one day at a time and understand that no addiction can be conquered overnight, this has been a real learning experience for us both and I am confident that one day, hopefully sooner than later, we will both look back and realize how crazy this was and look back at it as another phase of life. Good night!</p>
<p>[WoW</a> Detox - The Detox center for your World of Warcraft Addiction!](<a href=“http://wowdetox.com%5DWoW”>http://wowdetox.com)</p>
<p>Show your son the posts on that website… It is a game that cannot be “won”.</p>
<p>ctmom: Just wanted to support you and say you’re doing the right thing. You have the right to run your house as you see fit. Sounds like you have perfected the “broken record” technique. No arguments. No negotiation. No need to even raise one’s voice. All you need to do is repeat the fact that you won’t allow that game to be played in your house. Son can stay; the game is unwelcome and simply not allowed under your roof. Hopefully, the breaking of the habit and his own gradually developing maturity will make him realize how destructive the game was to him and he will self police in the future. </p>
<p>What he chooses to do with his life once he’s out on his own, working, paying rent or mortgage and utility bills, will be out of your hands. But I applaud your stand that as a minor, living in your home, he will not subjugate everything to this game — not on your watch. Bravo to you.</p>
<p>Thanks jazzymom, believe me it has come at a cost, I am emotionally drained but at this point cannot back down because if I do, it will cost him his senior year and chance to go to good college. I know he too will one day look back at this and hopefully will be shocked at himself that he allowed this to go on for so long. I am tired though of being lied to, I so badly want to believe him but at this point the trust is totally gone. He will have to work hard to earn it back. THANKS FOR YOUR KIND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT.</p>
<p>You are doing the right thing, ctmom. I hope you can find a good therapist quickly and get him there. He needs professional help, and you need some relief from being the only one dealing with this.</p>
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<p>Ulcers are caused by bacteria, not stress. Don’t blame your medical problems on your kid.</p>
<p>I’ve posted about this in the past. I started playing the pre-releases versions of the games, and played enough to reach the absolute apex with the legendary masters of the game, and did it for years. I did quit years ago, but the temptation to start again is still there. Friends of the past still call with invitations to start all over … like in the good ol’ days. The game creators keep sending emails with juicy offers. </p>
<p>I still believe that few understand how addictive games such as Everquest and WOW truly are. While I’d have to disagree that the games are evil to the core and have no redeeming value whatsoever (pioneering players have turned their addiction into very lucrative careers and you won’t believe how one can develop his or her vocabulary and social skills by playing), they CAN and DO tax one’s life. Because of the addictive character of the game coupled with the internal social pressures to participate, it is virtually impossible for high-level gamers to reduce playing time. In the same vein, deciding to quit or being forced to quit is EXTREMELY hard and painful.</p>
<p>I would not worry so much about the game hiding deeper emotional problems, but focus on the difficulty of letting go. Telling someone to go back to his life-without-the-game is a hard pill to swallow. Offering to play the same game in moderation is a poor answer. However, a compromise can be reached in allowing games that are not that addictive and do not have the ever-present community siren song. Although it might seem counter-productive, allowing your son to play other games from which he can walk away after a couple of hours is NOT a bad idea. The reality is that most games become quickly boring. People who want to stop smoking will often look for a patch. Quitting a game cold-turkey is every bit as hard. </p>
<p>At this stage, tough love is needed. Later on, your son WILL be thankful for your determination. However, knowing how hard it is for him will help you understanding the ups and downs of accepting he HAS to let it go and forever. Meeting him half-way by allowing different games on platforms such as the Wii, Xbox, or PS would be a clear sign of seeking a positive resolution to a problem that only has a painful process.</p>
<p>I keeping seeing “Witchcraft” instead of Warcraft in the title to this thread. I’m not sure which is worse. At least witchcraft gets you out and about.</p>
<p>PUDAC (persistent use despite adverse consequences)</p>
<p>That’s one way to define an addiction. Grades and family issues, personal grooming and social life deficits - when you are hurting yourself in these areas and cannot stop, you do need some help.</p>
<p>I couldn’t get through every post (there are so many). Your son needs a counselor who specializes in both young people and addiction. Personally, I think he needs a detox first (time away from WOW on a vacation or something, where he cannot get access to it no matter what he does, and then he can begin counseling).</p>
<p>This could be the only time your son is addicted to something in his whole life (please, God!). On the other hand, if he does have an addictive personality he could move on to other things at another place and time. This is an opportunity to learn about what happened and why, and have that knowledge for the future (just in case). The grades thing is unfortunate, but in the big picture this is an opportunity which could be invaluable for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>Check out bsafe.com for a great filter.</p>
<p>Sympathies to you, Mom. Parenting is so damn hard sometimes!</p>
<p>I think Xiggi has a good idea. Give him a different game to play, one that isn’t Internet-linked and doesn’t required so much time to master. What about getting a Wii system and playing more family-interactive games? I’ve heard the bowling, football, boxing, tennis games are a lot of fun, but not addictive.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to you in this battle and I’m sure that one day your son will understand that you were acting in his best interests.</p>
<p>The number of people confusing genuine addiction with poor time allocation and lack of responsibility is absolutely staggering.</p>
<p>That is not in response to the OP (well done), but some of the examples and suggestions are quite ignorant. In the interest of full disclosure, I played WoW at the highest levels for the first two years of the game, while in high school. I’ve seen it all. Your sons and daughters and brothers and sisters and husbands and wives were my guild mates. Did I stay home to play WoW instead of hanging out with real friends sometimes? Yes, but I never got drunk with my friends or arrested with my friends. WoW is, frankly, fun, and rewarding. A raid with 40 people who you have come to know pretty well, all with mics and headphones on a voice server, joking and laughing and winning (or losing) at 2 in the morning is FUN. Big achievements get your heart rate up. I’m not suggesting video games are exercise here (except DDR), but for every instance where WoW is described as a ‘grind,’ there is another instance where it is genuinely thrilling. Interactive online games are more than staring at a screen, I had a lot of friends in the game. Friends who were married couples who played together, friends who played with their parents, siblings and cousins and old friends who could all get together on Friday nights and play together, even though they lived thousands of miles away. I knew a guy from Fiji who played, but only on his boss’s computer- he had to pay his boss a potato per hour to play the game. You can’t make this stuff up.</p>
<p>YES, people take the game too far. Most people I knew, however, played responsibly. You can play 5 hours a day and be responsible. How many people do you know that probably go home after work and watch 4-5 hours of television before they go to bed? A lot, right? Is playing 4-5 hours of WoW worse than that? I’d argue that it’s better. It’s hard to look at the facts and say it’s not. Parents especially think that WoW is something sinister because they have virtually no understanding of it. They need to step in when kids neglect real world responsibilities, and most of them do, and good for them. But that’s a maturity issue. Kids are doing something fun instead of doing something not fun (homework or what have you). That’s what kids do.</p>
<p>But that is a learning experience. Not a reason for medication.</p>
<p>Well once again thanks for all of the wonderful and supportive posts…they truly are a source of strength for me. He received an amazing new computer for Christmas (bought well before this game was an issue) We thought we would give him ONE more chance, but unfortunately last night he blew it. This morning his computer was removed, the trial version broken and again we reiterated this will not be played under our roof. I can see he seems to have somewhat removed himself from playing incessantly the way he did before even said he feels a little bored by it, but I am not taking that at face value. The bottom line is the computer is out of his room for awhile and whatever work he needs to get done will have to be done at the family computer. I agree with the above, allowing him to play a game here and there, like xbox, or Wii is not an issue to me, because I know he will bore of them within an hour. If that is the release he needs, I am open to it in moderation.
He says he is bored and that is why he even played the trial so now we have to help him develop some new interests and to encourage him to stick with them. Agreed tough love is the ONLY thing that will work in this case, it is a very black or white situation, no gray areas.
As far as stress not bringing on an ulcer, theoretically you are right, they are triggered by bacteria but stress affects gastric secretion and injures the stomach mucous which can defenitely aggravate an ulcer, for the record.
Thanks once again everyone…will continue to keep you posted!</p>
<p>Band, while in a perfect world your post would be a breath of fresh air, I for one just cannot buy it. I mean from everything I have discoverd about this game, it appears there are virtually no real redeeming qualities worth mentioning. I mean for someone like my son who became rediculously addicted, it was painful beyond words to watch his downfall. Excruciating to see him isolate himself, and frankly it appears most games do just that. Sure you might be interacting online with people all around the world, but you are not physically interacting with them. I saw him get too comfortable staying home the entire weekend, holed up in his room, often eating meals in his room, neglecting the way he looked, losing weight, looking pale, and these all seem to be telltale signs of serious game addcition. I am sure there are some who can limit themselves to playing a couple hours a day and for those, you are right its possibly not much more harmful than watching TV, except that a TV show or movie rental ENDS, which WOW does not. It keeps you going back for more and thats where the danger seems to lie. If it catches a youngster at a vulnerable time in their life, such as their teens, it can become an all comsuming activity far too fast, and swallow them up whole. It is scary what it can turn kids into. I saw it firsthand.
There is just too much research and data now on the seriousness of addiction with regard to this game in particular, it is likened to a substance abuse addiction and withdrawing and quitting can bring on the same physical and emotional symptoms quitting drugs or alcohol can. It has been studied for years now and just now are the results becoming clear and obvious.
In the Times just a few weekends ago, there was a huge article about how wealthy Asian families are sending their addicted teens to these detox type camps for weeks and sometimes months at a time, it is akin to a national epidemic in some areas, and the U.S. is almost there as well. The numbers are staggering and the stories are beyond sad. So many young lives ruinied because of a game, its hard to wrap your head aroudn that one.
While it may have been fine in your life, I truly believe you are the minority, if there were more like you, there wouldn’t be such a debate as there is over this, with all due respect.
Thank you for offering a different perspective, I am really thrilled for you that this did not affect your life the way it did my son’s life. I feel really strongly about my argument because I saw the devastation that it wreaked on my sons life in a such a very short time, about 4 months. Seeing it through my eyes, has been a very difficult experience and believe me if you experienced what I did, you might see this quite differently. I dont’ think poor time allocation and lack of responsibility are caused by the game specifically but I do think once the obsession kicks in, those traits are simply unavoidable byproducts of the devastation that being addicted to the game can bring.
I may be “old school” or not with the times but to me particularly for a young teen, nothing can or should take the place of live phsyical interaction amongst their friends or peers. I think its natural and mandatory to achieving normal emotional growth.</p>
<p>Your son is the minority, not myself. 9 million people play or have played WoW. If the average person became obsessively addicted, I think it would be making headlines. </p>
<p>My views come from actual experience with the game, and your views come from experience with your son, so neither of us will be convincing the other anytime soon. I’ve said my piece.</p>
<p>I have to agree with BandTenHut. While it can be detrimental to some folks, WOW was the only shining light in my son’s difficult move to a new location in high school. On most Friday nights, he would walk over to a friends house and play (as a team with him) until midnight. Sometimes, they would play other computer RPG’s. They didn’t play computer games during the week, at all. </p>
<p>We were delighted that he found a friend with a common interest. It never occurred to us that it could be addictive. </p>
<p>Oh, S is now in college and doesn’t play WOW anymore, his new group of friends plays RPG with cards and dice.</p>
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<p>Yes, and YOUR actual experience is also only ONE experience with the game. There are lots of people who played similar games when WOW was only a figment of the imagination of a game writer. And, having done it for years, I can definitely tell you that there IS something wrong for a teenager to be up at 2AM finishing up a raid or playing 5-6 hours during week days. What is wrong is that few people who sleep 3-4 hours a night are doing well in classes the next morning. Nothing comes for free in life. The hours spent leveling and mindlessly waiting for the right spawns don’t ever come back. This will make more sense later, and you won’t need much convincing! </p>
<p>Please accept the fact that people who DID play the game, and at levels you could only dream of reaching after two years on WOW, have an opinion that aligns itself more closely to worried parents than to teenagers who still believe in their self-proclaimed invincibility. </p>
<p>Ignorance remains in the eye of the beholder.</p>