I delivered both my kids in a hospital. I gave H one and only one job—not to let anyone touch me and break my concentration in focusing on my labor and delivery unless absolutely essential. Both births were very calm. I was joking around with the staff much of the time and there was no screaming or yelling, and minimal medication. We lived literally across the street from the hospital.
Best of luck OP to you and your D!
All four of my babies were born at a birthing center with the assistance of certified nurse midwives. Home births were not an option due to insurance issues but had this been an option, I would have chosen it. The midwifery practice I went to was wonderful and I did see a dr one time during my pregnancy in case I did have to be transferred to the hosp.
One upside to working with midwives is that I was able to avoid a C section with my first child. My labor was going slowly because he was ‘sunny side up’ (his head was facing the wrong way). This situation often requires either a large episiotomy or a c section (and I wanted neither). My midwives were willing to be patient and they supported me and my wishes. In the end, I had a very successful birth experience and extremely minimal tearing (I only needed ONE stitch). My outcome at a hosp would have likely been very different and not what I wanted.
My daughter in law delivered at a hosp but with midwives. Her midwives supported her wishes which was for a vaginal delivery. She was in active labor for 3 days in the hosp and while checking that baby was safe, they allowed her to labor and she eventually had a successful vaginal delivery. Baby and moma were fine (baby is 3 years old now and never suffered any problem from the prolonged labor). A dr would have been very unlikely to have allowed her to be in labor for 3 days.
I was so thankful that I had midwives deliver my babies and was thrilled when I learned that my daughter in law chose to work with midwives. I don’t think that home births are legal in my state, so this wasn’t an option.
I can’t go back to edit my post so I’m adding the edits here.
My oldest was posterior at birth (also jokingly called ‘sunny side up’).
I would also add that I simply didn’t feel ‘safe’ in a hosp. I was able to relax and feel comfortable at the birthing center (where the midwifery practice operated and where I went to for my prenatal visits. It was a renovated home.) I noticed that a few other posters commented on feeling safer and more comfortable at home and this was what drove my decision to work with midwives and have a birth anywhere besides a hospital.
I have to add that while a home birth with a simple uncomplicated pregnancy might well be better than a hospital birth , for more difficult cases I still think a doctor and an immediately available ER is needed, and VBAC at home with twins is plain insane in my opinion. A healthy baby is more important than a great birth experience.
Physician here- the medical student’s dates/weight seem hard to believe. Amen to the healthy baby versus the experience. You can psych yourself up/down for anything. My experience with OB is that the place and staff are different than the rest of the hospital- happy place.
Of course 99+% of births go well. And historically things did not go as well as in modern times with medical intervention available. Some of us are risk averse and want the hospital, some of us know too much about what can go wrong… I also liked the thought of not having to clean up after the process. Some women have easy labors, different pain thresholds, different life experiences dealing with hospitals…
OP- are you comfortable with having your home be the birthing place, with all of the pros and cons? You likely are the one coping with all of the gross parts and cleanup. Some can handle that, others want to let someone else take care of things. I presume there are plans for the unexpected, that one percent with problems of one sort or another. Plus I presume your D expects you to do a lot of work taking care of her those first days. Do you have the time off from work to do so?
The birth may be at home but be sure the baby gets evaluated has required testing et al very soon.
I have no trouble believing the dates/weight. My son was also four weeks late (it’s a long story), and was 8 pounds something. I planned a home birth, but he was eventually induced.
The midwife or midwives cope with the gross parts and cleanup.
I was presenting a paper in Atlanta for the psychologists annual meeting, when I was asked by a friend to chair a conference on midwifery. These midwives had a facility nearby the hospital, back-up help if necessary, and very good relationships with the hospital OB GYNs. I learned so much about how midwives can turn a baby and many other techniques.
A few years later, I chose the hospital birthing center at my local hospital in Boston, a very reknown place. (my mom had had difficult labors, e.g. I was a breach), and I had already had miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy… 44 hours of labor, no,pressure, then the baby’s heart rate dropped precipitously. Within a minute, transferred to a hospital type room, dozen MDs or residents flooded into room, and baby delivered. The cord had been around neck &tightened. I was simply not a candidate for a midwife center and and thankfully, could go from a hospital birthing center to a hospital type room faster than a speeding bullet.
I Wish everyone had the possibility of using a good birthing center and patient, caring professionals , be they a midwife &/or an RN or an MD. In no way am I trying to put down home births.
I pay for insurance and hope I would not have to cash out on it, but if I was 100% certain “it” would never happen then I would not waste my money. To have access to top notch medical facility available to me if something should go south was insurance to me. I had my first child in a homey birthing room at a hospital where most emergency/difficult births were sent to. I knew if something were to go wrong my baby would have the best chance there.
I think people can have so many options in having their babies now and one can pretty much tailor the experience they want, but the bottom line is how far is nearest facility if something should go wrong. I picked my doctor based on his hospital affiliation. I would think it would be important to know a midwife’s hospital/doctor affiliation in the case of emergency. How far is your home from such facility? What’s the facility (hospital) safe/delivery rate? I always hope for the best and prepare for the worst, and that’s for work. If it’s for my grand baby then I would want almost 100% certainty.
To have child birth at home, is it for the benefit of parents or baby?
I have a number of friends who had their babies at home. All were healthy births. The one woman I know who should have gotten immediate help for her baby and didn’t get it had the baby in a hospital. She was low risk, giving birth in the hospital, no complications expected, and evidently the Z team was on the case because when the baby was born and needed oxygen, they couldn’t get it working.
The baby (now an adult, as this was a contemporary of my son’s) got cerebral palsy. That kid would have been better off born at home. Midwives know how to use oxygen and bring it to home births.
Although I would have not wanted home birth for myself, I am familiar with the topic. It seems a reasonable choice IF careful screening has been done to rule out high risk situations.
For several years my Sunday School teaching partner was a midwife (who sometimes did have to be gone for a weekend baby). Often the homes were remote locations, tso he winter driving was stressful to her. But her reports of the birthing experience were positive. In this case, I’d worry about the logistics. I once heard that only 5% of babies are born on their due date.
It’s funny how people think homebirth midwives don’t come with medical equipment. They have pretty much everything you would use in the hospital in case of emergency - oxygen, IVs for administering fluids, etc. They can’t do surgery and can’t administer anesthesia or pain medication, obviously, but it is only in extremely rare cases where there are true emergencies that require absolute immediate attention in childbirth. Even at the hospital they have to round up doctors to handle those situations. Most of the time you are hanging with other medical professionals with the same level of training as the midwives. One time I was in L&D with an issue being monitored and I signed myself out AMA. They had to wake up a resident to come in because no OBs were available in the hospital to countersign the form. If I had had an emergency they would have had to call someone in, too.
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Often the homes were remote locations, tso he winter driving was stressful to her. But her reports of the birthing experience were positive. In this case, I’d worry about the logistics. I once heard that only 5% of babies are born on their due date.
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A hospital birth doesn’t involve a Star Trek transporter taking the woman to the hospital. She still has to drive. A woman living in a remote area might be better off with a home birth, especially if the hospital is far away and the midwife lives close by.
My midwife ended up delivering twins at a home while I was pregnant. The mother was planning a hospital birth and was not my midwife’s patient, but then the '89 earthquake happened and cut off her area from the hospital just when she went in labor. Luckily for her, the midwife happened to live nearby and could assist at the birth. Both babies were fine.
One cousin had all 4 at home. She reported that the placenta makes great rose food! Who knew?
@gardenstategal I used mine for that!
I’m counting…I know of six babies who were born at home within the last 20 years. All good.
I’d be worried too @massmomm , but I think the worrying is normal and it’s hard not to let that worrying run wild.
If my kids would have been born in reverse order I would have considered home birth as my neighbor was an ob/gyn married to a mid-wife but my first born was a cord around the neck and I was grateful to be in a hospital with oxygen and the ability to get him out quickly as it was not discovered until the last minutes. Otherwise all 3 of mine were born with no drugs, or epidurals or issues just the last few minutes of number 1 were panicky but it was enough to use a hospital based midwife and doctor team (not my neighbors) for 2 and 3. I think like much in life it is an individual decision based on a number of pregnancy based signals and personal factors. First timers can greatly misunderstand the sheer work of birth or they are individuals who cannot get on top of pain and could panic but u would presume midwives deal with that all the time.
Everyone knows that a huge percentage of babies have cords around their necks when born, right? I have heard anywhere from 30-50% It’s a completely normal thing and generally not dangerous. The doctor or midwife just usually unloops it as the baby comes out. And midwives carry oxygen. Heck, YMCAs all keep oxygen on hand. Having oxygen is not really restricted to hospital settings or even clinical settings. @momofthreeboys not wanting to contradict your experience which may have been made up of other complications, too. I just see these two scenarios - cord and oxygen - often cited as reasons to be in a hospital but it’s due to misunderstanding.
Thanks for sharing your stories. I am personally a wimp and just wanted my babies delivered safely with maximum pain control. My daughter is cut from a different cloth, and wants a more natural experience. She also has a much higher pain tolerance than I do.
It is fine to say that many places have access to oxygen and that most deliveries are perfectly normal. But, if you are the 1 in whatever # of deliveries that has sudden complications and immediate intervention is necessary and your child dies as a result, there are no 2nd chances and you could really careless that most deliveries are just fine.
FWIW, 3 of my 9 deliveries were emergency Csec. Without those Csecs, I would most likely be the mother of 5 instead of 8.