<p>Hugs to you, EK. It probably doesn’t seem like it right now, but this is progress. Baby steps.</p>
<p>Thanks for the hugs.
Neither H or I saw oldest in Portland, although I did have to tell H to call her when we were ready to leave, because youngest had taken off with the dog and left her phone in the hotel room and I guessed she was meeting her sister.</p>
<p>I have no idea what she is doing for Xmas, probably flying across the country to see her boyfriends family.
The last time I have seen or spoken to her, was Christmas last year.</p>
<p>I know it isn’t wise to send her anything for Christmas, but it feels wrong * not * to.
Not even some homemade toffee bark?</p>
<p>It sounds yummy… but she’d probably not appreciate it. It would be best to send it to me instead in Colorado ;)</p>
<p>:)</p>
<p>I can’t make it until right before we leave to see youngest, cause I’m afraid I’ll eat it.
Or maybe I should make a sample batch just to get the recipe right.</p>
<p>EK- I read the first five pages of this thread before realizing it began in August. I skipped to this page and I am wondering when did you get your pup and what kind is it?</p>
<p>We got our pup towards the end of August. Younger D had been sending me so many petfinder links, and while he isn’t the oldish fluffy smallish dog that I envisioned for myself, he is very entertaining.
The shelter told us he was a boxer mix, but he looks almost identical to this guy.
[Rhodesian</a> ridgeback mix - Google Search](<a href=“http://www.google.com/search?q=Rhodesian+ridgeback+mix&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=dZuuUpSwM5bcoATfg4HwDg&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAA&biw=320&bih=452]Rhodesian”>http://www.google.com/search?q=Rhodesian+ridgeback+mix&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=dZuuUpSwM5bcoATfg4HwDg&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAA&biw=320&bih=452)
He was just one when we got him & very high energy.
I bought him one of these, as he is destructo dog & shreds tennis balls.
[Horse</a>, Pony, & Equine Toys to Relieve Stall Boredom: Jolly Ball for Horses](<a href=“Petco: Pet Supplies, Pet Food, & Pet Products”>Petco: Pet Supplies, Pet Food, & Pet Products)
He’s lucky he’s so cute!</p>
<p>Oh, what an adorable pup!!! I have learned a lot from your story and I hope you will continue to have the strength you need to carry on. I think you have received some incredible insight and advice from other posters. Have you ever considered rocking newborns in a children’s hospital? My youngest did this for several summers. She rocked sick and also premie babies and also took care of their parents by providing conversation and emotional connection.
I, too, miss nurturing others and I have had to find ways to do this outside of my grown children.</p>
<p>MY brother, who is very difficult, did this to our parents-- mostly mom. He cut her off and would have no contact. It was apparently due in part to his misunderstanding something she may have said, and moreso due to the influence of his very odd and dysfunctional wife. IT was very painful for her. Sorry you are going through this.</p>
<p>Emeraldkity,
That puppy looks just like one that my brother had when I was a kid. She was a Rhodesian Ridgeback/German Shepherd mix. I loved that dog.</p>
<p>Stay as strong as you can during the next difficult weeks. We’re rooting for you.</p>
<p>So a week or two ago, I sent both Ds email iTunes cards.
It wasn’t much, but I just wanted to do something.( ok I had a glass of wine)
:o
Anyway, my youngest texted me that she didn’t want it, because she was trying to use her electronics less.
:eek:
Ok- fair enough, and I realized that even if older D wanted it, she was blocking my email anyway.
So I wrote Itunes yesterday and asked that it be applied back to my acct.
They replied promptly, but told me that both the gift cards had been used.
Younger D said " oh yeah, I found something…".</p>
<p>EK–love that story :)</p>
<p>So you think older used it?</p>
<p>So you think older used it?</p>
<p>Im assuming so, since thats what the itunes rep told me.</p>
<p>She called her dad yesterday, because she was offered a permanent full time position at the educational company where she has been working for almost a year as a temp. ( permanent positions are difficult to get) However he was on his way out of work and the connection wasn’t good so they didnt talk long.
I’m so happy for her, working in the educational field but not actually in front of a classroom is what she wants & it is supposedly a good company to work for.
She will even get benefits! Shes been working part time/as a contractor since finishing grad school, so benefits will be wonderful!</p>
<p>She is leaving today to spend a week with her boyfriends family in the southeast, and H is going to call her back to finish their conversation & to ask if I can send her a Christmas card.</p>
<p>Im baking today & trying to track down all my mail which wasnt delivered because the carrier placed a dog hold on my mail without notifying me.
( he barked at her as I was putting him into the car when it was in our driveway, & she did yell at me that she was going to make a report, but I didnt realize that barking was enough to stop our mail, although some of it still got through)</p>
<p>oh emerald, I can’t stand it one more minute.<em>%$!^&</em>&^!!%&$</p>
<p>If this was my husband he had better be telling my daughter to knock it the heck off, get off her own pedestal and figure out a way to be pleasant to his wife. Polite pleasantries if nothing else. Plain and simple. Life is too short for this bullshi**.</p>
<p>oh and thanks for the horse toy link…who knew you could buy toys for horses?! I’m buying one of those balls for my dog and his crazy brown lab play date who will destroy anything and eat it in under a minute.</p>
<p>Like button for post #174.</p>
<p>While in theory we’d probably all like to shake some sense into EK’s daughter, the risk of EKs H reading the dau the riot act is that it risks alienating the dau from her dad as well. But this triangulated communication is, I agree, unhealthy.</p>
<p>Too bad. </p>
<p>The reality here is that emeralds husband is quietly okaying the daughters behavior by not challenging it.</p>
<p>We all have our issues but common decency calls for at the least pleasant superficial conversation. </p>
<p>If she loves her father at all she would know that her behavior is hurting him and that THAT is good enough reason to speak with her mom.</p>
<p>Emeralds husband should insist.</p>
<p>This really infuriates me.</p>
<p>I’ve been wanting to comment on this thread since it was first posted…but first things first:</p>
<p>emerald, I’m grateful that you posted this. Currently, I’m not on speaking terms with my father and it’s interesting to see the “otherside”. My siblings still talk to my father. I don’t. I know to some effect what me not talking to him is putting him through, but I definitely don’t hear what you have put in this very thread. </p>
<p>In regards to post #174, I am not speaking specifically about emerald’s husband, but I can understand why a husband, spouse, or whatever may not be forcing to daughter to speak to the other. 1)The parent who currently speaks with the child may have already brought up the situation and feels it simply does not make sense to repeatedly bring up the subject again. 2) The pushing might create tension between the parent and child. 3) The parent may simply feel as it’s between the other parent and the child and, in good time, they’ll sort it out.</p>
<p>EDIT: Some people are just not comfortable with polite and pleasant phone calls when everything truly is not “pleasant”. Personally, I don’t enjoy speaking as if all is fine and well to my father when deep down inside all is not fine and well. </p>
<p>I only have experience in why happened in my family and I am in no way suggesting it is the equivalent to the dynamic of your family, emerald. My parents are divorced so things are much different. ;)</p>
<p>It is an important life lesson to learn how to be civil. Even if you do not want to be. </p>
<p>Life is too short and fleeting to purposefully hurt those around us.</p>