<p>I agree that you should give them a way to back out graciously. I like the idea of drinks at your home and then dinner out. Having never had, nor ever giving validation to those with allergies, I developed a severe intolerance to preservatives/sulfites and many airborne particles/odors (new construction odors/dust , bon fires, nail polisher remover, etc) as a reaction to the drugs used during my neck surgery. It is very embarrassing for me to try and explain this and even harder to live with.</p>
<p>“Allergies are tough. I always feel bad when somebody with allergies has a parent who gets a cat or dog once the “kids” move out. My friend can barely go home to visit because she is very allergic to cats. I think it’s kind of selfish by the parent. I guess I won’t be getting a cat when I get old or son will have excuse not to visit.”</p>
<p>I am not a parent, but animals are a huge part of my life, and I don’t agree with the above. I think there is only so many years a parent should keep sacrificing and sacrificing and sacrificing. At some point, I think all people are allowed to pursue what makes them happy, and animals are a huge and important part of life for many people. I say good for the parents! They clearly spent decades taking care of your friend, probably paid for her college, etc. Now, she has a life of her own. It’s OK for the parents to do the same. A life sentence on no animals sounds pretty horrible to me.</p>
<p>As to the original question, I am definitely in the love me, love my animals camp. They are my family - not furry family, not ‘family’ - actual family. It is absolutely their house no less than it is mine. I wouldn’t date a guy who didn’t like animals, even if he tolerated them. And as for guests, I doubt I would invite someone over frequently or even at all (depending on what exactly was the accomodation they needed) who required accomodations that made my animals uncomfortable. I understand it’s out of some people’s hands, but at the same time my animals come first. We can meet at their place.</p>
<p>As an allergy sufferer I pretty much know where I can and can’t go, and I really try to never make a big deal out of it. I’m allergic to avocados, hence also guacamole - I just don’t eat it if it’s served. I’d be surprised if anyone beyond my immediate family knew it.</p>
<p>I am allergic to Christmas trees, so after Thanksgiving I do have to be careful where I go. I do actually end up in the ER not breathing. A friend has a party every year, she always has a live tree. I go, stay as far away from the tree as possible, and go outside several times, and usually I have to leave within 2 hours. </p>
<p>I’m also allergic to oak trees, if people have a real fire, chances are I can’t stay in the house long. My in laws burn real fires and I’ve spent many an hour during the winter sitting on the front porch. </p>
<p>I’ve told my kids, the silent signal if they don’t want me for the holidays when they get their own place will be if they get a real tree. I wouldn’t blame them for once in their lives having a real tree and wouldn’t want them not doing it because of me.</p>
<p>We have cats and try as we might to keep our place really clean, those allergic to cats generally have a hard time in my house. Not that I’m hoping for them to be gone, but when my pets do die, I have told hubby we need some time without animals for my sake.</p>
<p>Allergies are a bear. We recently returned from a very nice vacation. D spent about half the trip with her face puffed up from allergies (dust mites). It started at a hotel and continued when we stayed at my son’s place because it was dusty since he had just returned from being away for 2 of that past 3 weeks. </p>
<p>H and I also have allergies and most of the time, we can keep them under good control by being careful and using antihistamines promptly. D sometimes lets them get out of control (she’s more sensitive anyway), and then it takes a lot more to get them back under control.</p>
<p>We find when our resistance is low, the allergies are more likely to overpower our systems and cause problems than when we’re otherwise healthy and robust. S has allergies as well, so he was very apologetic and sympathetic. Fortunately, none of us has ever needed to go to the ER for help due to allergies (or anything else). It is just part of life to have to live with allergies. We are all also allergic to life Christmas trees, so we don’t have those either. We are all aware of our own allergies and able to manage our lives around them.</p>
<p>I am highly allergic to cats. Luckily no one in our family has cats; we’re not cat people at all. But when I’ve gone over my boss’ house to work from her home, I <em>do</em> expect her to keep her cats in another room away from me. That’s just not fair to me (or to any other adult). One of her kids has cat allergies, and they still have cats. To me that’s both insane, and not very nice - I would NEVER have a cat or dog if someone in the family were allergic. My younger sister was contemplating getting a cat (in a moment of weakness - like I said, we don’t really like them very much). It went without saying that if she had and I were to come over, she’d put the cat away. </p>
<p>I love my dog, but if someone were allergic to him (or just didn’t like dogs) – in a bedroom or laundry room he goes. What’s more important, pets or people?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>^^^^^I think you would find that many people consider their pets to be just as important as people. Someone on this thread even said their house belonged to the pet just as much as to the humans.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I’ve known people who would even put their pets above humans, much less on equal footing.</p>
<p>Personally, I would put my dog in my bedroom if I invited someone over for dinner who was allergic. He’d be fine. I don’t know if that would solve the problem, but it might help.</p>
<p>The OP seems to have come to a satisfactory solution, though.</p>
<p>It depends on the dog! Our dog just wanted to greet people (he didn’t jump on them…just needed to wag his tail).,.then he would go to his bed in the corner and sleep. HOWEVER, if we put him in the bedroom, he would howl and spend the evening scratching on the door. </p>
<p>Luckily most of our friends have pets too…and tolerated him.</p>
<p>My husband is allergic to cats…and we have two now…don’t ask…you don’t want to know why! He is actually ok with our creatures. We vacuum a lot, and dust. </p>
<p>We have a very good friend who has two dogs, and two cats. It makes my husband wheeze to go there…so he takes some allergy med before we visit them…an OTC one, and he is fine. He is also careful to wash his hands and not rub his eyes!</p>
<p>I have to point out that people can be allergic to other people’s dogs but not their own. </p>
<p>“You may be allergic to all dogs or just to some breeds, or to some dogs in one breed but not others. The only way to know how you’ll react to a specific dog is to spend time with him.”
[Allergies</a> to dogs](<a href=“Allergies to dogs - DogTime”>Allergies to dogs - DogTime)</p>
<p>“It appears that some people can be allergic to certain breeds of dogs and not to other breeds. While there is no such thing as a non-allergenic dog, some breeds can cause less allergies than other breeds.”
[Dog</a> Allergy – Dog Allergies](<a href=“http://allergies.about.com/od/specificallergens/a/dogallergy.htm]Dog”>Dog Allergies: Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, and Treatment)</p>
<p>My father, a dog lover and owner, had his first asthma attack after interacting with my golden. It was pretty obvious to me that the dog was the cause.</p>
<p>I’ve also got what I consider to be a mild - moderate allergy to most of the shedding dogs. Not nearly as bad as my cat allergy in that I can be in a room with any dog, no problem, but if I’m in very close contact, ie I pet them or they lick me, I will feel my throat immediately start to get swollen and scratchy. Initially, I was this way with my neighbor’s golden, too, but I see her all the time and with the frequent exposure, I no longer react in any way.</p>
<p>I now realize just how many people have dog/cat allergies. I was told by sister and niece that if I got a cat, they couldn’t enter my house.</p>
<p>My allergy is mild, and I think depends on dog too. On a plane ride, woman next to me had a small dog. The scent was so bad, within 20 minutes eyes red, throat swollen. I always carry Benadryl, but this time I got so bad the attendants moved her and dog. I can only imagine how bad it is for people to have to go to an ER.</p>
<p>I’m a little surprised at all the people here who seem to think putting their dogs outside or in a separate area for a DINNER (not an overnight, it seems) is an extreme inconvenience and others should just tolerate their multiple pets.</p>
<p>I’d do everything I can to make the area as pet and dander-free as possible. People before animals. </p>
<p>It sounds like the friend is trying to see you, and would like to be away from the dogs this time. That is not an unreasonable request, in my opinion.</p>
<p>I have cat allergies, and they depend on the breed. Some which are supposed to be non-allergenic are the worst! And it has nothing to do with how good a housekeeper someone is. Some advice I’ve gotten from my allergist (other than just don’t go there - not an option with family) includes staying on hard surfaces, like wooden chairs, not upholstered. This makes a huge difference. Hanging out in the kitchen, especially if there is carpeting in the other parts.
Obviously, I avoid petting the cat, but putting it in another room doesn’t make much of a difference.</p>
<p>His analogy for allergies is a bucket - the more you’re around allergens, the more your bucket fills up. So if you have a seasonal allergy, then go around another allergen like an animal - your bucket might already be full, and you’ll feel it worse.</p>
<p>It is really tough when you have to limit visits because you just can’t breath if you stay too long.</p>
<p>^^^One of my high school friends had a cat allergy and she would only come into my house to pick me up for band practice or some other function and within only a couple of minutes, she would be stopped up, sneezing, and having watery eyes. It was really quick, so I usually tried to be ready when she got there. She always wanted to come in and greet my parents, but anything more than that and she was struggling.</p>
<p>VeryHappy - Perhaps you could suggest to your friend, since the dogs appear to be particularly dander-laden this year, that she just come alone, and youll pack up a “doggy bag” for her to take home to her husband afterwards. Seems like it would be a much more pleasant evening for all concerned.</p>
<p>dodgersmom, that’s not going to work. It’s a gathering of this couple and another, and to leave out the husband would be weird. </p>
<p>I offered them an alternative – drinks here and then out for dinner – and she declined that option. I feel comfortable that I have responded appropriately to her concern.</p>
<p>And for those of you talking about your allergies to pets, I completely understand. We had a neighbor who was allergic to cats (back in our pre-dog days) and she couldn’t be in our house for more than five minutes without wheezing.</p>
<p>“I love my dog, but if someone were allergic to him (or just didn’t like dogs) – in a bedroom or laundry room he goes. What’s more important, pets or people?”</p>
<p>Pets, hands down in this situation (and probably in most situations). To rephrase your question, what’s more important acquaintances or family? These people are random guests. Pets are family.</p>
<p>Yes, but the pets aren’t going to SUFFER if they are put in a bedroom or laundry room or confined for a few hours. I “confine” my dog to the laundry room every time I leave the house - he tends to get into trashcans otherwise. He’s hardly “suffering” or being mistreated. He does what a dog does, which is wander around and then take a nap.</p>
<p>Depends very much on the dog or animal in question. If they don’t mind, it’s OK.</p>
<p>My dog does not have separation anxiety. I work and am away from the house a lot. He is totally fine with me leaving the house. But if I were to lock him away when I am IN the house (ESPECIALLY when there is another person there), he gets SUPER stressed out and very emotional - cries and is in general very upset.</p>
<p>That’s because dogs are born to be with people. They want to be with their master, desperately.</p>
<p>I got a completely different vibe from the email. The use of the words “ages ago” is what I noticed. I think someone wants to emphasize that they haven’t been invited over in “ages” and now they’re invited in order for you to show off your house. I wouldn’t have a problem with that because I’m sure I’d love to see the house but that is how it struck me. </p>
<p>Regarding dogs wanting to be desperately be with their masters. It is not fair to the dogs not to train them to handle being away from their owners. Things happen that require it - accidents, illnesses, death even. Everyone owes it to their dogs to crate train them and teach them that they will be fine without you in sight. You want your dogs to be content no matter where they have to be, particularly for a very short period of time.</p>