@blossom as my luck would have it there really IS NOT enough room in the car 
Toomany- you are lucky! BF gets to either take the bus, drive his own car, find a ride with someone else, or have to wait until the next weekend to make it to campus.
@blossom - So true, were discussing last night that if it came up again she should come because it would heighten the “different places” sense. But just found out HS starts a week earlier, and move in is on a weekday… but I still said no first.
Inviting HS GF/BF on a vacation seems CRAZY to us, too. Problem is, it doesn’t to them so we are consistently the bad guys.
Constant pre-college buzzkill at our house, LOL.
@1399HdJ Tell your son one of two things will happen:
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She is his one true love…not being there on move in day, him making friends, not seeing her every weekend will cause no issues as she is there for the long run and would want him to get settled into college life
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She ends up not being his one true love…and not being there on move in day, him making friends, not seeing her every weekend will allow him to meet people and start off college right
Exactly - if it is real and lasting, they will both be okay with being apart and focusing on what is good for their futures. Such an adult concept! I have told him not to underestimate how hard this could be for her - we’ll see!
@1399HdJ This is why I am kind of OK with my other daughters boyfriend who is active military - they are both doing what they need to do for their own futures
@toomanyteens–not loving the odds but OK. https://scholars.org/brief/rise-hookup-sexual-culture-american-college-campuses Just watch what you wish for.
This. There is no universal outcome.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t be letting bf come along on move-in day. What the D does after that is her business, but IMHO this day is for the family of the student.
I just don’t get this at all!! I have been trying to imagine this position on the issue.I just can’t. I don’t understand what the problem is, but perhaps because I don’t know the individuals involved.
“I did tell my daughter that she was NOT allowed to spend all night talking to her hs boyfriend while she was at college and that I would find out and shut off the phone”.
At what age will you start being supportive of her decisions (right or wrong) and let her live her own life? Maybe there is a reason she needs to spend this much time with her friends (boyfriend or otherwise)…
What @Sue22 said. My high school boyfriend, whom I was absolutely certain I would marry, was actually a mama’s boy. My mother loved him, so I had no reason to rebell against anything. But by the spring of my freshman year, I was done with him.
Years later I was dating a guy that my parents really disliked. I spent all of my time defending him, which meant I had very little time to think about whether he was actually good for me. My mother in particular couldn’t stand him. We married and were divorced within a year.
When I stop paying, for both the phone and for tuition. She was not very good at managing her time in high school with the phone and the boyfriend. He lived 3 time zones away, so she had to be told to hang up and go to sleep. (for him, it was only 10 pm so he wanted to talk long into the night) I didn’t expect this to suddenly change when she went to college.
She was not, in fact, very good at managing her time her first year of college, even though the long distance boyfriend was gone.
How are you going to control their use of FaceTime, Skype or WhatsApp?
Taking her phone away will simply give her an excuse not to respond to your texts and phone calls.
While her behavior may not change when she goes to college, it will be up to HER to regulate it. She will learn through consequences. She’s not going to let you do it.
For people who don’t want the BF/GF to come with your family on move-in day:
If the BF/GF comes, then he/she has to drive back home in the car with one or both parents, without your kid. It’s hard to imagine anything more awkward than that. Your kid doesn’t want to subject the BF/GF to that, right?
Also, I’m surprised by all the people who think that drop-off is for the family. I thought it was about the student. The parent is just there to drive the car.
@1399Hdj I’m curious, why do you think it’s crazy to invite a BF/GF on a family vacation? I told my D she could invite her BF on our family vacation and his parents said an emphatic no. We let my D invite friends on vacation all the time, so it was no big deal to us, and they would have had separate rooms. Our D knows we like her BF just fine but that we expect that they’ll most likely break up eventually since they are going to different schools.
Daughter is now older and has a different boyfriend who lives in the same town. It was the long distance high school boyfriend I cared about (as the OP of this thread was concerned about with her 18 year old heading to college). She didn’t abuse the phone in college, and in fact the service wasn’t very good so she used it less than she had been using it in high school. I had no trouble telling her to hang up the phone and go to bed when she was 18 and in high school, and I had no trouble telling her to put the phone away and stop texting and talking so much when she was 18 and in college. Could she have used the other apps and FB? Sure, but it is less convenient than texting and constantly being on the phone, and sleeping with the phone at her ear so that if the boyfriend called she could respond immediately. She could have even gotten her own phone line for $40-50 per month and then I wouldn’t have had any control at all. She didn’t do that so she must not have minded that much that she still had to live by my rules. This month she used almost 3GB of data on our shared account. I told her to cut back and save some for me. If she doesn’t want to, she can get her own account.
Anyone on a college campus has unlimited wifi which makes facetiming/Skyping/Googlechatting completely free and untraceable by whomever is paying for his/her phone.
I had been with my bf for 4 years by the time they dropped me off at college. Well before that though, my dad would take him places if need be since his own parents weren’t really in the picture.
Not everyone has an awkward relationship with their SO’s parents.
My daughter almost did drop-off with her BF at an out of state college. She would have done the drive with him and the parents were going to fly down. They parents and my kid were going to fly back together. I discouraged it because she had other things she had to do and I thought the family deserved time together but she and they would not have found it awkward to travel together.