Italy is great because they are VERY educated about food allergies/celiac. It was such a pleasure traveling there for that reason. Most restaurants had gf versions of most dishes. I would never dare to eat something with wheat in it, no matter the type of wheat.
I have found that when offering to bring my own food it goes over like a lead balloon. People do feel a little hurt that I don’t trust them. But I’ve written about being fed gluten at a friend’s lunch, the resulting exorcist vomiting that caused a hernia needing surgery to repair. So I am anxious too!!
Circling back to say the all is going well so far.
I’ve been hosting family with celiacs for thirty years so that is in my comfort zone. No one has gotten sick under my watch ;).
Picky eater has been less picky than years past. No plan b required for lunch today and she’s going to do a veggie risotto for dinner (morphed from my sides). Tomorrow’s menu is built for her. Easter dinner she already said she will be thrilled with the soups, sides and dessert.
Peace to all and happy Easter to those that celebrate!
We don’t host many people for dinners, but when we do, I make sure there are plenty of options. We have friends where one of the couple is vegetarian/gluten free, so I make sure there is something he can eat. It is difficult, but I figure it out. Other people where I don’t know their preferences, I just make sure there are options. If someone asks what they can bring, I tell them what I’m planning and say if there’s something else they’d like to bring, go for it. Never had someone unable to eat anything. I’m a very picky eater, so I get it. The things I make are pretty simple.
I tend to cook simple items as well and always ask if there are allergies or food issues and folks are generally good about sharing and offering to bring food when they are picky.
We just grilled hot dogs and burgers at my Mom’s for Easter for 15 of us. I made both the potato and macaroni salads because of D2’s allergy to onions. My niece’s youngest D also has an onion allergy (which I just found out yesterday). I make sure to clean my food prep area thoroughly so there is no cross contamination that will make anyone ill.
Our family has a mix of picky eaters and allergies/sensitivities. I would never comment on or judge what someone else eats or doesn’t eat.
And to @vwlizard ‘s point, while I would want to make every effort to not put out allergic ingredients, I am totally aware that the sufferer is the best person to judge whether or not he or she want to eat something. I can’t imagine being upset that the celiac person did not want to eat my item. I welcome them taking care of themselves!
I may think I “know everything” but I don’t know what I don’t know - is gluten referred to by another word? Is handwashing enough to clean off a contaminated utensil etc etc.
There may be obscure or heritage varieties of wheat that are referred to by names that do not include “wheat” (or “gluten”). Examples are spelt and kamut. Also, rye and barley contain gluten. Barley is commonly used for malt, which may be used in various foods, including beer.
Oats do not inherently contain gluten, but are commonly grown and harvested in ways that result in cross contamination by wheat, rye, or barley. So those avoiding gluten may prefer to avoid most oats.
same here, and i’m not sure if dietitians you have worked with have ever used the term “ARFID” (avoidant-restrictive food intake disorder) with you but that’s what i have–it’s an eating disorder that isn’t the traditional weight-loss driven/lack of control ED most people tend to associate with eating disorders, but it’s a very real thing. folks with ARFID are often autistic/neurodivergent and will struggle with intolerance of certain textures, a fear of choking, and/or general disinterest in food–it’s picky eating taken to a clinically significant extreme. i wish i liked more foods. it’s embarrassing and it makes it hard to get myself adequate nutrition every day. i would recommend trying to find a dietitian who specializes in ARFID or neurodivergent clients–they may have strategies that are more helpful for you than general therapists.
when i’m going to someone’s house i generally don’t request accommodations or comment on my eating issues at all, although i suppose i might with multiple days. typically more “basic” foods work best for me (typically pasta dishes or something like a cheeseburger/hot dog station), although i don’t know how those interact with allergies. my suggestion would be to a) make lots of snacks available (crackers, fruit, popcorn, chips, etc) so those uncomfortable with the main entree can still fill up on something, especially throughout the day (“i’m full from snacks” is my go-to excuse for awkward conversations about food). maybe stock up on microwavable meals/pasta so folks can grab something after? and b) have a zero-tolerance policy for commenting on another person’s plate. i also really appreciate being able to check out the menu in advance/knowing what i’ll be eating so i can make alternate arrangements if possible.
Here’s a switch: I just had a couple over for dinner but I, the host, am the one with allergies. I served them soup and nice bread and cheese. I am unable to eat bread or cheese. I wrapped them up for them to take home. I ate the soup and noone felt badly.
Yes, we serve some food that we are allergic to sometimes and have the guests take it all as we prefer not to store it. Lactose or problematic for H, S and DIL. We still serve it sometimes. We also like to offer dairy-free option so so that everyone can enjoy them. Lots of the dairy free options are pretty good these days.
(Sadly, dairy free cheese still isn’t very palatable to any of us in this household but dairy free frozen desserts can be quite tasty and attractive.)
This stuff may not be super easy to get in all geographies, but I’ve found a couple of cheeses that are better (imo) than the daiya-type stuff (though those have their uses when dairy is off the table). Some Miyoko stuff is good. I really like the Violife feta - it’s a good sub-in for paneer as well. And best of all are the Rebel brie and goat cheeses. I agree that ice creams are more successful than cheeses at this point.
We have a very serious multiple food allergy situation in our family. I appreciate all the thoughtfulness you guys put into the topic, since it’s central to our lifestyle. Having ingredient labels is a really nice comfort when eating at people’s houses…I’ve even asked at restaurants when they use a bread or pre-mix.
Lol, that is why with large parties, we usually opt to go to a restaurant. At our age, it’s worth a few hundred bucks not to worry about shopping, prepping, cooking and cleaning up, let alone dealing with different tastes, allergies and dietary preferences.
Thanks for the suggestions @UnsentDementor ! My H was so unhappy with the dairy-free cheese he’s sampled so far, he really prefer to avoid it but perhaps if he tries a few that he likes, he may change his tune. I’m pleased at the dairy free Ben & Jerry especially. I love the dairy free cherry Garcia and don’t feel I’m missing anything! Have had a few vanilla dairy free options but am less enthused by them.
We don’t entertain a lot, but have family over for birthdays and when D and her family visit from out of town. We have a combination of a full vegetarian, 2 semi-vegetarians (one turkey only, one no red or processed meat), one very picky eater, and a few who just try to eat healthily. So we usually resort to pizza or large pan of pasta with meatballs on the side from local restaurant, salad and bread. I know…not particularly healthy, but I know everyone will eat it. Summers are easier, when we can grill burgers and veggie burgers, with various vegetarian sides. When kids were little, my go-to birthday dinners were ham or ham loaf, cheesy potatoes and seafoam salad, but now nobody would eat that!
I have a working menu of easily prepared food for almost all big gatherings (but not holidays, as those are different recipes) at my house that let’s people pick and choose and that I can modify depending on the restrictions of who is coming.
Grilled salmon and chicken. In the winter it might be pulled pork and chicken depending on the meat eating status of the guests. I’ve also perfected a veggie pulled “pork” using soy curls that I haven’t served to guests yet, but wouldn’t hesitate to.
Pasta, pea, pesto salad. Easy to make. You throw frozen peas, pesto and fresh spinach into a bowl and pour the cooked pasta on top. The heat for the cooked pasta “cooks” the peas and spinach. I can adjust the pasta and pesto if there are gluten, dairy or nut allergies. I like this room temperature salad with walnuts so I will usually serve them and some Parm on side.
A large garden salad with a variety of dressings.
Potato salad. Either mayo or vinegar based. If doing the pulled pork/chicken, I’ll do coleslaw. Because you have to have slaw and pickles if you decide to make a sandwich out of it.
A bread basket (with separate GF options if needed)
A fruit salad.
Dessert is usually chocolate covered strawberries and GF/DF King Arthur brownies.
I find this menu is so easy to adapt and that people can make their meal as hardy or as light as they wish. It seems like a lot of food, but most of it is easily done ahead or right before guests arrive. I can do it in my sleep and know exactly what to shop for.
The very easiest thing to do when hosting people with a large range of food allergies and preferences is to have a taco bar where they can put together their own food. Have gluten free taco shells along with regular shells. Lots of veggies available, rice and many diverse options. What people choose to put (or not put) on their plate is fine with me. And when people ask what they can bring, tell them what you’re having, say if there’s something in particular they like to eat or drink, bring that. At least they’ll know there’s something they’ll eat if they have multiple food issues.
We have friends whose son can’t have any gluten at all, so cross contamination is a real issue for him. He knows not to use a knife that may have come in contact with a gluten item, like a flour tortilla or bread, so he’d either need his own ‘bar’ or go first so that no utensils may have come in contact with banned ingredients.
The annual party we see him at has quite a few gluten free people so they usually set up two separate tables (or just have everything gluten free), but he is the one who will actually get sick if there is cross contamination. The others will be uncomfortable, but he actually gets quite ill. One of the others is actually a great baker so there are always gluten free options (that are delicious).
Having only those would reduce the risk of wheat cross contamination. Similarly, taco fillings could be offered without the usual food allergy ingredients like milk (cheese), fish, shellfish, peanuts, tree nuts, soybeans (including soybean oil) to minimize cross contamination risks.
Honestly, if I was someone who was actually going to get sick if someone just used the same knife, I’d bring my own food. I wouldn’t expect anyone to hold a party like they were in a laboratory with an uncontaminated zone. The people we have over have gluten issues, not severe allergies.
We usually have taco shells that are made with a flour/corn combination. They are very good. Fortunately we’ve never had anyone so allergic to gluten that the possibility of them touching other shells would be an issue.
I suspect that people with severe issues and many requests, like utensils not touching other utensils and not a whiff of gluten, don’t get invited to many parties.
The people we have over have gluten issues, not severe allergies.