How much should a parent help kid to get into a BFA program?

College Majors Theater/Drama Majors
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<p>My D is a senior next year and she wants to apply to BFA in theater. She is sure she wants to be an actress because that is the only thing she really enjoys doing. And children of this century seem to be determined to do only what they enjoy. Unlike us in their age some 25-30 years ago. </p>

<p>Now I am not an “acting mom”. I am scared to death that this is a big illusion of my D and that she will end up jobless and hurt. So, I persuaded her to apply to some LACs, for BA. Since my D, as many of other art children, is absolutely not interested in academics, her GPA is not great (barely 3.0) and her SAT score is even less impressive (in the range of 1,600), I am not optimistic about her getting into a good LAC. </p>

<p>She may have better chance for BFA in a serious university because she does like acting and may be talented, I don’t know, I can’t be objective. As a grown up person, I understand she needs to do a lot to be prepared for the auditions and she should do it now, this summer. I know I can help her but I am not sure this is the right thing to do? For now I said I am only paying all the expenses and helping her with traveling, the rest is up to her. But deep down I have a feeling I am betraying my child. She is still young, inexperienced and idealistic. She is somewhat sloppy, not focused and procrastinates real badly. </p>

<p>What do you think how much parents should help their artistic kids in this important moment of their lives?</p>

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<p>What acting experience has she had? Has she done any actor training classes? BFA programs can be grueling - lots of work to be done while also working in/acting in productions. Your line about her being sloppy and a procrastinator worries me, but it could be that she really does want this, and will apply herself.</p>

<p>The process to get into a BFA is also time-consuming and requires lots of focus. Here is where a parent can help as far as organizing the work (applications, monologue, song choices, essays, head shots, resumes, travel plans, auditions) but your D is responsible for doing the work.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Marbleheader asks some good questions. It will help us respond if we know the level of experience your D has. Has she done any community theatre? Or acting classes? If so where did she take the classes? Did she do a pre college summer program for example. There are many pre college programs that give students the idea of what the BFA training is really like. If they come out of these programs saying “that was the best experience of my life and I can’t wait to go back” then a BFA program is probably right for your D. </p>

<p>BFA training is very intense. They are in studio for hours and hours every day, and then spend most evenings in rehearsal for shows. It is not a typical college experience like she would have with a BA. The BA is more than half traditional college classes and the remaining classes in acting training. </p>

<p>I think the best way to know if your D has enough talent to pursue acting is to think about whether she has been judged by a variety of theatre professionals. Has she been to a variety of auditions at different theaters? Has she been taught by a variety of teachers? If the answer is yes, and the majority of these people think your D has talent and cast her, that is a good sign. There are some people in my community who have only taken class at one small community theatre school, or at our high school. They ask me why my D and I travel to audition for other theaters. One reason is for an opportunity to be in other shows obviously, but the other reason is to find out if a variety of directors are interested in her. Because we have done this, and taken classes with several college professors, I feel confident that my D at least has enough talent to give this a try. </p>

<p>Now, as far as applying goes, quite a few parents end up helpings their kids out with apps and scheduling. Of course the student must write essays and prepare for the auditions and interviews. But most theatre kids are very busy with school, training and shows. There is just not enough time for the student to get it all done in most cases. </p>

<p>Most students applying for acting apply to 10 or more schools. Why? The programs are highly selective. As in, 5 hundred or 6 hundred kids apply and the school accepts about 20. It is more difficult to get into some of the BFA programs than to get into Harvard. So by applying to more schools, students give themselves a better chance to be accepted somewhere. You should also have a backup non audition school. There are other threads on this forum about that.
Fill us in a little more and maybe we can provide more guidance. :-)</p>

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<p>^^ “The BA is more than half traditional college classes and the remaining classes in acting training.”</p>

<p>Great advice and questions above… but a BA is not ALWAYS more than 1/2 traditional college classes and the remaining classes in training. There are BA programs that are closer to BFA programs in terms of the ration of academic classwork to training class work. There are some BFAs that have much more rigorous academic requirements. Most auditioned programs will require a high level of training coursework… more than most non-auditioned programs. This can be a good starting point. Then look at the specific required and AVAILABLE course work at schools to see the possibilities.</p>

<p>There are many options for your D. Knowing a bit more about her background and experience, the part of the country in which you reside, her academics in HS, et… will help those here make suggestions.</p>

<p>Many parents do help their children with the logistics of scheduling, some researching, etc… but your D needs to take some of the responsibility and “drive the bus” … or at least navigate from the passengers seat! :-)</p>

<p>What are some of the schools currently on her list. Is the 3.0 weighted or un-weighted? Does it include grades in arts classes and other “soft subjects,” or mainly traditional academic subjects?</p>

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<p>As Kat said your D needs to “drive the bus”. This will also show you her commitment level to this. I helped with the scheduling, the basic application information, looking for additional scholarship info, and the typing of stuff. My D was completely responsible for all her audition prep stuff and all the essay portions/activities list for the applications and scholarships.</p>

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<p>Thank you very much for your responses! </p>

<p>My daughter has no experience in theater, she did not do anything until she was 14 because she played sports, that was my ambition I must admit. She was a great athlete and had good chances to become a pro but one day she told me she does not want to play sports any more and her dream is theater. We live abroad, she attended the only American school in the city, it has no theater class. No community theater either, it’s not an English speaking country. She found a performance arts high school in US, applied, auditioned and was accepted. I did not support her decision but did not stand on the way either, it’s her life after all.</p>

<p>She enjoys the school a lot and really lives from one show to another. But outside of school she has no experience because I want her to be at home the whole summer. So, no theater camp, just local dance and vocal lessons. Her resume will look poor I guess. It was really difficult first year in school for her because she realized how much behind her peers she is in terms of voice and dance. She is doing much better now and theater teacher gave her good comment with B+ grade.</p>

<p>I told her getting into BFA is her project but I feel like it’s too difficult for her now. I read here somewhere that it’s not fair to get into a gun fight with a knife. That’s how it looks to me. Should I help her more even though I am not sure it’s right thing for her? Get her an acting coach, look together through schools, visit some of them, listen to the monologues she works on, encourage her more? She recently broke down because all this stuff just overwhelmed her. She usually holds it though, not a very open kid.</p>

<p>I really don’t know what to do, any words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated!</p>

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<p>My D “only” had her school productions on her resume plus local voice and dance training. She was also on the dance/drill team. Granted she has been dancing since she was 2, but she had no community theatre credits on her resume and didn’t start acting till freshman year in high school. She was accepted to one BFA MT program, two BA auditioned theatre programs and Muhlenberg which is a BA program with auditions for scholarship, as well as other non-auditioned BA’s. She really felt she had great choices. She applied to a broad range of types of programs. Plus she was accepted at other schools academically (but not into the BA/BFA program) so could have opted to attend one of these and major in something else.</p>

<p>The point is, you don’t have to narrow your choices down right now, just do the research with your daughter and make sure there are some schools on her list where she has a good chance for academic acceptance (and where she would be happy) so if she doesn’t get into the BFA she wants, she still has choices.</p>

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<p>She goes to a performing arts boarding HS in the US? That is quite a bit of experience. There are many successful applicants to college programs who do not have outside of school experience or performing arts HS experience. </p>

<p>What do her teachers and Guidance Counselors say at her HS? They should be able to provide coaching for auditions and advice on developing a list of schools where she might be competitive both academically and artistically. </p>

<p>Can you help her articulate exactly what is overwhelming her?</p>

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<p>It’s funny that you almost mention it as aside that your daughter left her family to study at a Performing Art high school in the states. That shows a tremendous amount of determination, initiative, and independence—not to mention commitment to her chosen field. You also have to give her a lot of credit for confidently and wholeheartedly changing course at age 14. Bravo!</p>

<p>First off, as KatMT said, I would rely heavily on her high school to help both of you navigate this path. Sometimes Performing Arts high schools even attend auditions as a group.</p>

<p>The extent of my involvement with my daughter included helping her research BFA/BA programs, hiring an acting coach and traveling with her to visits and auditions. (And, of course, funding this expensive undertaking!) Applying to the schools, communicating with the schools and scheduling/preparing for her auditions was up to her. I figured it would not only demonstrate to me her commitment, but also give her great experience for her future career. There was only one misstep that I am aware of (scheduling overlapping auditions at Unifieds) which she had to rectify on her own.</p>

<p>That being said, every kid is different. On the audition trail we ran into “backstage moms” orchestrating every detail, as well as students traveling completely on their own.</p>

<p>You don’t say where your daughter attends school. I would definitely learn about the closest Unified auditions where she can audition for several schools at once.</p>

<p>Also…as I told my D, there are many ways to become a professional actress. Attending a 4-year university is only one of them and none of them guarantee success. My daughter very definitely wanted the full-blown university experience, but we would have looked at other options had she not been committed to this particular path.</p>

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<p>If your kid was able to do all that when she was 14, she will be able to do even more now that she is graduating from High School. And it sounds like she will do it with or without your support, as you say you didn’t support her decision when she was 14, but she went through with it anyway.</p>

<p>She has had an incredible amount of experience and education in theatre. She will have a HUGE advantage over many of the other auditioners. (It doesn’t matter that all of her experience and education is at one particular performing arts high school)</p>

<p>She is bringing big guns to the gunfight!</p>

<p>If she is behind in dance and voice, she may want to consider auditioning just for plain, vanilla, “straight” theatre instead of Music Theatre.</p>

<p>She should talk to her current teachers about what they would recommend for her college plans, and whether they can give her some audition coaching.</p>

<p>But also remember that if she gets some degree, and then later changes her mind, she can always go back and get educated in a different field. As I have mentioned to many people, there is no requirement that anyone major in the same subject in grad school that they studied as an undergrad.</p>

<p>KEVP</p>

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<p>Since she is in a performing arts high school I would guess she is getting some significant training. She’s likely in pretty good shape.
Unless you have arts training, I wouldn’t recommend you watch her monos. Maybe one of her teachers or look for an outside acting teacher…someone who is recommended by a friend you trust. Don’t just go by ads; there are alot of bad acting teachers out there!</p>

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<p>I think your daughter is on the right path for her passion. I do think you might want to (behind the scenes) see what is available for these kids. Theatre kids are a special group, they have a passion and drive that is not so common in kids their age. To know at 14 what you want to do is a rare thing indeed. And their love for this drives their every decision. Do they all end up on stage or in the movies? Heck no, but those who are determined are able to make their way through and find a life they love. I am the mom of 2 of these kids, and they honestly could not imagine a life without the theatre arts. I have a feeling your child is the same. The more knowledgeable you become, maybe the more comfortable you will be with her decisions.</p>

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<p>Thank you very much for your advises.</p>

<p>austinmt-- I agree with you, my D needs to have BA options but she isn’t strong academically, so it’s not a good chance. That is why I insisted that she gets SAT tutoring this summer and the only reason she is doing that is because her reach school is NYU. I know her GPA is way below their standard so I am not optimistic but if she raises her SAT score significantly, she may have a good chance for some good LACs. </p>

<p>KatMT–the performance school experience may sound better than it is. She did not get into cast until her junior year and it was a small part. She enjoyed being on stage though! She also went through many auditions in school, some call backs, always stress and rejection. She loves being part of the show even on backstage, never complains about staying late until 11 pm and so on. I am the one who complains! Her grades could have been much better, she used to be a straight A student in our school. Oh, well, at least she is working not just wasting her time hanging around as most of her classmates here. And yes, she has a great college counselor in school, very thorough, she helped my D to make a list of schools she is going to apply to and guides her somewhat in terms of preparation. The problem is my D’s ambitions are very high and far from reality. She wants to apply to all those great schools that are on the CC list of the best-- NYU, UCLA, USC, CalArts, Fordham, Chapman, New School, schools like that. She tells me if she won’t get in, she’ll take a leap year which is what I am scared of. And that’s what overwhelms her I think. She knows it’s very hard to make, she knows she needs to work a lot to achieve it and she does not know how to do that. For example, she started working on monologues, brought books with monologues, picked some but then realized that she did not get the plays themselves! Ha! You can’t get the play you need here, in our country. And getting it through internet is quite a deal. She should have thought about that earlier! But she didn’t. So she realized the task may be too difficult for her and she broke into tears. And I don’t think I should help her with this kind of things, or should I?</p>

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<p>skewlcounselor-- yes, my D told me she will go to Unifieds at NYC, I will travel with her of course. I will do all the arrangements for travel, that’s fine with me but yes, I told her she is the one who communicates with schools and fills in all the papers and schedules all the auditions. I also don’t know if I should research the schools? Should I? It’s so different from what I did. I am a lawyer, it’s very far from arts life. For me the name of the school matters more, I am very sorry to admit that but that’s how it is. My D does not care about the name, she wants a program in NYC or LA so that she could start auditioning as early as possible. She keeps telling me she needs more experience. She also wants a full university experience, not just acting classes. She told me she thinks general education is very important for acting as well as professional training, that is why her reach schools and NYU and UCLA. Well, at least here I agree with her! </p>

<p>TheRealKEVP-- no, my D is not applying to MT, she understands she has no enough training. She loves singing but dance is something she couldn’t master! Sports made an impact on the way she moves, lol. And yes, I agree she can pursue other professions once she realizes she wasn’t destined for stage. Life is not that simple though. Sometimes you can not go back to fix things. That is why I am so concerned.</p>

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<p>dramamom0804-- thank you very much for your advise, I appreciate it! My D does not want me to hear her working on dialogues and I will not do that then. I am not sure her teachers in school help with monologues though. I told my D she can find an acting coach but she will have to work with her/him through Skype? Or during the fall? </p>

<p>photomom5-- thank you so much for your kind words! I do want to believe everything will be good for my daughter, that she knows what she wants even in this young age. It’s just, it does not look that serious to me. I am sorry I am so down to the earth.</p>

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<p>I was very active and involved with each of my kids’ college searches and app processes. I told them that this was likely the last time I would be so involved in their lives. Going off to college was a “letting go” experience for me and for them. So, yes, I did get heavily involved. </p>

<p>One son did major in MT, got a BFA and is now the poor starving artist. Yes, it 's tough. This board has a great forum with MT and theater advice, and I suggest reading it I wish I had had that resource at the time, because it was all new to me and I made a lot of mistakes not knowing how to navigate the process.</p>

<p>I do want to tell you that grades and test scores will be an issue at a lot of these programs in addition to the auditions. Yes, if your kid is literally the one in a million who blows them away at the audition, the academics may be given a pass, but the truth of the matter is that the most competetive programs look at BOTH, and can afford to do so. There are soooo many talented young people going for limited spots at these programs, so that the admissions process can afford to give heavy weight to the academics as well. NYU Tisch, Steinhardt will tell your right out that they academics are also very heavily weighted. Michigan won’t even let you audition without looking at your academics and making sure you meet college standards. At a number of the programs, you have to apply to the school AND the program, and yes, it is possible to get into one and not the other. Also any merit money will often involve the academic numbers. </p>

<p>And then comes the financial part of all of this. The fact of the matter is that there really is not a lot of money out there, and you do not want to send your kid out into the Performing Arts fields with debt. My son might be living hand to mouth but at least he has no outstanding school loans. You will likely have to give some handout those first few years out of school. </p>

<p>So, yes, help her out, give her an opportunity to give it a go. Let her apply to the schools that are lottery tickets, but as a back up, look for performing arts opportunities at schools that you can afford and that she can gain acceptance.</p>

<p>My old college roommate is force in theater in her city. She runs a major theater and produces, directs , peroforms in many productions. Absolutely NO training in theater. She started this as a pasttime 20 years ago,a nd ti became a passion, and with success as become her vocation. I have another very close friend in the same situation. So, there are many roads to getting where one wants to go. I am trying to get that through my son’s head right now as he feels he is stuck in mud. Successful enough to barely make it, but not make it enough to be what he feels is successful.</p>

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<p>notactingmom, your daughter sounds determined, passionate and hardworking. She’s gone a long way on her own. If I were you I’d do whatever is possible (within reason) to help her. When you love something so much that you’re willing to really work for it, just that love is a gift. Let her follow it wherever it takes her. Yes, there will be disappointment, but there will also be satisfaction. Her path will twist and turn like everyone’s-- but how wonderful to set off with such energy and commitment!</p>

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<p>There are college audition coaches that work through Skype, Mary Anna Dennard for example. You can google her for info. She has a very helpful book called I Got In! which you can order on her website or on amazon. We didn’t use her but know others who have and loved her. Plus there are many other coaching options (look for CC threads about coaching).</p>

<p>Most of us parents were total novices about theatre schools and the admission/audition process when our kids got into this. I read and talked to other parents going through this and researched the schools myself so I could be knowledgeable when my D had questions. After all, her dad and I are footing a lot of the bill, so we wanted to stay informed and help as much as possible with this important decision!</p>

<p>If you aren’t going to forbid her from pursuing this path (and I wouldn’t recommend that!) then I would put your feelings aside as best you can and finds ways you can help her. Sounds like she has the drive so refusing to help with stuff like research and emotional support when she gets frustrated may backfire in the end! :slight_smile: It is a long, difficult process and she will need some assistance.</p>

<p>PS. Chicago is a great theatre town too! And it can be easier to get your foot in the door with jobs during and after college.</p>

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<p>I’m guessing that your daughter is now on summer vacation from her US boarding school, is that right? I think she (and you) really need to be working with her teachers in America. They will be able to either help her with her auditions for college, or else put her in touch with other resources that can help her. That’s part of what these schools do. She will have an easier time finding plays when she is back in the U.S. (but she seems to have learned the hard way one reason not to work from those “monologue books”)</p>

<p>Even if she hasn’t had many roles, she has been taking acting and other performance arts classes, right? That still gives here a big advantage over most American high school graduates. And she will keep taking these classes and working on school shows during her senior year.</p>

<p>One question I have, since you seem to be an international family, is why your daughter is limiting herself to American colleges. Are their programs in your country worth looking into? Another nearby country? Some other country?</p>

<p>I don’t understand why you are so afraid of a Gap year, those are becoming more and more common. Yes, she will need to find a job to support herself during that year, but many young people do that all the time. College isn’t going anywhere, you can always go to college later, there is no reason that anyone has to go to college right now. My own life is certainly an illustration of that fact.</p>

<p>And in fact many succesful actors do not have any college degree at all. Many get training and experience in other ways. She may want to explore these as well, especially if she is taking a gap year.</p>

<p>KEVP</p>

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<p>Thank you again for the kind words. I spoke to my D and told her that I will support her in this process and that I think the most important thing for her is to find the place where she will enjoy studying and then enjoy working. It may have sounded a little fake but she wanted to believe my words. I myself never do what I’d enjoy but rather always what I believe is a right thing to do. So, I am not a good example for my kid. </p>

<p>She told me more about the process-- said the school teachers will help her with monologues, both classical and contemporary, she just needs to make an input by reading plays and looking for the right ones. So, I’ll do the books shopping and will remind her to spend more time on reading (she is not a great reader which is really bad!). She said she will work on monologues by herself, she will also research schools by herself. So, this is off my worry-list. She would prefer to go to auditions without me too but we will see how it goes. I only need to discipline her and make her to study for SAT and to write some essays over the summer. She asked me if I could find her a coach who would give her extra help with monologues and also will help her with resume/DVD/headshots. I’ve researched CC already and will contact the coaches who are recommended here. So, it all came to a compromise-- some help but without any control :)</p>

<p>KEVP-- yes, my daughter is back to home for the summer. She certainly hopes to get more experience during the senior year but so do all of her classmates! She wants to go to US college because she wants to live here and she wants all the US university experience. She told me she’d love to spend some time in London or Paris or Moscow, maybe to have summer semester there, but we will look at finances later, once she gets into a University. She is fluent in French and Russian but her native language is English (unlike mine, lol), and she really wants American education. She wants a gap year (sorry, I keep calling it leap year which sounds funny) if she does not get into a BFA program or BA at NYU/UCLA, but I am against of it. I believe it is very hard to get back on college track if you did not do that right after you are out of high school. I know many people are able to do that, I just think it’s not good for my D. I’d rather her go to a LAC and then try to transfer a year later. For now she agrees with me, maybe because she hopes she will get into a BFA program!</p>

<p>Thank you all very much for your input. I was so happy for a foreign girl who got into CalArts all by herself! I hope my D will be like her. Too bad she refuses to read CC, says it’s mostly for parents.</p>