<p>It ranges from the recounting of one’s blow-by-blow golfing game to someone relaying bits of office gossip in extreme detail to a spouse who isn’t interested and wouldn’t care as he/she’s unlikely to be involved to the extremes of first-daters even into their 50’s spending the entire date recounting their tales of woe with exes to the dismay of the date being talked at*. </p>
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<li>This happened to an older female HS alum friend who was dismayed even 50-somethings do this on a regular basis. IMO…if you’re in such a state that all/most of what you can talk about on a date or with your SO is about tales of woe with exes or crappy things in one’s life…one may need to consider seeing a therapist or working through those issues before venting them on SO or worse…a date…especially a first-date.<br></li>
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<p>If my spouse is excited about his golf game and wants to recount some great shots then I am going to listen. It’s the give and take of everyday life. I enjoy seeing him excited and happy about something. Usually he is a pretty quiet guy. I could care less about the shots but who the heck else can he tell? I enjoy seeing his happiness. </p>
<p>We have been together 40 years…since we were 18. It has been important to give each other space to grow and change and also allow each other to not grow and change. It ebbs and flows. That’s why I just don’t believe you can expect to be in the same rhythm of growth at the same time regarding staying in shape and being healthy.</p>
<p>I wish my DH would take up golf and tell me all about it. He really needs and deserves to take some time off and pursue a hobby. Plus, we live on a golf course.</p>
<p>Hearing about some great shots is one thing, pretending to pay rapt attention to a shot by shot replay of an entire golf game when you’re not interested as described by the poster above is just sad. Especially when the golfer is not interested in hearing about your day.</p>
<p>My H just had a long conversation with his dad about his sailing race. If you think talking about your golf game is boring, try sailing. Boring! </p>
<p>My H and his family could talk hours about running, garmin’s, shoes, bikes you name it. If it has to do with running, biking or swimming they are all over it. So I can talk about my running to my hearts content. </p>
<p>My H has a terrible memory, it’s really bad. But how can he remember every shot from golf last week ;). </p>
<p>ONE time H took all my cash out without telling me. I found myself in a situation where I needed that cash that day. H’s excuse for not telling me was that he didn’t want to wake me. What? he couldn’t leave a note? It was the last time he did that.</p>
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Really the rudeness, if any, is on the part of the person who thinks you would be interested in the minutia of his golf game.I mean, who is that unaware?</p>
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<p>I agree.</p>
<p>If I spent even 5 minutes talking about some fab recipe, shopping expedition, or hobby, H would probably suffocate me with a pillow. But, today at dinner he did go on and on about the Long Drive Contest. (where’s a pillow?)</p>
<p>Re: the wallet. When the kids were little he had to leave for work early . He sometimes would realize he was out of cash so he would take $ out of my wallet so he didn’t have to go up the wood staircase and wake up any babies - our deal was, if you take the money, leave the wallet open n the kitchen table so I would see I needed to refill when I got up. Worked.</p>
<p>Stealing? Say what? Ridiculous. Will chalk that one up to inexperience in the relationship department.</p>
<p>Total change of subject. A message was left on the voicemail today that apparently blew a surprise that DH is having something extravagant delivered tomorrow for our upcoming big anniversary. I admitted I hadn’t gotten him anything yet (though travelling to see his sister who lives in the desert region, in July probably gets a boatload of spouse points, and the new 55" tv we just bought is probably a gift to him, but I digress). Anyway, I pined that I hadn’t gotten him an anniversary gift yet. He suggested a motorcycle. Um… NO WAY JOSE’.</p>
<p>Thats what I said about skydiving, but my D did it on her 22nd birthday.
I didnt find out until after.
Her boyfriends parents knew, she figured one set of parents was plenty I guess.</p>
<p>I must say, this ranks up there with one of the most ridiculous things I’ve heard on here.
I take money out of my fiance’s wallet all the time (he always has cash- I never do). I then transfer money to his account later. It’s easier than going to the ATM.
We’re in a relationship. We share bills and cashflow. We have separate account and keep finances more or less separate and equal just because it’s what is easiest. It’s not stealing. </p>
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<p>My parents have been having this issue recently as my dad does not take care of his health (and it’s rapidly deteriorating) and my mom is extremely careful with her health (though does have chronic, hindering health problems that aren’t related to lifestyle). She normally lets it go but now that he’s had TWO hospital stays in the last month, she lost it. We sat him down a few days ago (after he got out of the hospital) and I told him I’d never forgive him if my kids didn’t know their grandfather because he didn’t take care of himself. (He made, and kept, one major appointment this week and has several more in the upcoming months.) </p>
<p>Yes, happy anniversary jym! We solved the anniversary present issue by agree that we should buy things together for us, not for each other. Often the fancy meal seems like enough expense as it is, but some years we’ve gotten things like nice artwork. </p>
<p>DH always assumes that a half full dishwasher has dirty dishes in it, while I look to see whether they are clean or dirty because I don’t necessarily finish the job when I start it. I think it took at least 20 years before he learned to look and I learned to warn him before he put dirty dishes in with the clean.</p>
<p>He’s welcome to take money out of my wallet without asking, but he should leave a note if he’s left me with not much.</p>
<p>We solved the issue by giving experiences, not more stuff (the the Bag a Week thread). So we celebrated in HI and in Paris so far. Hope to get to Australia on the next big one - goodness, it is coming soon! </p>
<p>congrats to Jym on upcoming anniversary AND birthday. </p>
<p>we just had an anniversary and next year is a biggie…if no one gets suffocated with any pillows. H retired 2 months ago…so far, so good. actually, i think things are even better.</p>
<p>I know several couples who keep their finances separate or have an arrangement where one is in charge of all the finances and the other spouse “gets an allowance” because one of the spouses either has serious past issues with overspending/losing track of the family money or said spouse has a serious psychological issue handling/managing money and would rather his/her spouse handle all of it. </p>
<p>The vast majority of the ones I know of with the latter arrangement tended to fall into the wife being the one in charge of the money and the husband being the one “receiving the allowance”. </p>
<p>I never did get that whole “allowance” thing between a married couple. Seems so childish. I would never let someone put me on an allowance and I cannot imagine myself being attracted to a man who would agree to be put on one. </p>
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But, today at dinner he did go on and on about the Long Drive Contest. (where’s a pillow?)</p>
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