Yes there’s actually a club I’m joining specifically for girls who workout! The gym is easily 80% dudes and over half look like they’re on steroids 
Anyway maybe I’ll meet people there
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Another thing to think about the culture shock I am sure is part of this experience (if you are not from the South). It can take time to learn the rhythms, colloquialisms and the new vibe when you move somewhere radically different from where you grew up.
Most study abroad student go into those experiences knowing culture shock is probable, I think sometimes we forget how huge the US is geographically and that culture shock is real region to region (even if there is overlap in stores, restaurants, etc).
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I’m from Louisiana! I have heard of that being an issue for some people though.
Edit: most things as far as culture goes are the same as Louisiana (other than no Mardi Gras). The lack of seasoning on the food here is the real culture shock!!!
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My genuine sympathy for lack of seasoning. Not something I’ve dealt with in the South before!
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I would’ve thought the same! So odd. To be fair, dining halls aren’t exactly fine dining
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Don’t be sorry. You haven’t given a negative impression at all. All of your concerns are legitimate.
I am sorry for your predicament, and unfortunately I don’t have a perfect remedy, although much of the advice offered by others seems sound. My only addition would be to try to make the most of those things that you do appreciate and enjoy. Since you view the academics as solid, maybe seek out some upper level classes from professors you admire, and you might find people you relate to doing the same thing. Upper level classes/seminars tend to be be more intimate and you may get to know compatible people even in class. Same goes for lectures, clubs, and other social activities. (Sounds like you are doing this with exercise.)
Also, this approach may or may not be for you, but if the bigotry/apathy/viewpoint repression you’ve witnessed on campus bothers you, perhaps you might seek out like-minded people and/or organizations who are similarly taken aback and are trying to do something about about it. Activism isn’t for everyone, but if you do feel strongly about certain issues, you may at least find a conversation in any of the groups with similar viewpoints. Just an example, but I would guess that even Alabama has groups mobilized in response to the Dobbs decision. (That may not be your issue at all, just putting it out as an example.)
I guess what I am saying is throw yourself into the things you are passionate about, and some of the social connection may flow from that.
Good Luck!
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I definitely remember you, and I’m sorry that your college experience so far hasn’t been what you hoped it would be. But just remember, it’s your experience so far. There is still lots of opportunity and time for things to turn around. It sounds like you’re doing so many of the right things, and people have given you additional great suggestions.
Now I’m going to go in the opposite direction. What is the worst case scenario? You stay at U. of Alabama where you’ve received a very generous merit aid award and you take classes that you find interesting from strong professors, and then you go away. Someone already mentioned the National Student Exchange, and U. of Alabama is a member. So you continue to receive the generous merit scholarship resulting in a low COA and then you decide to spend a year at, let’s say, St. Olaf which has so many people rave about it. After a year at St. Olaf, maybe you say, hey, I miss the warmth, let me go to U. of Hawaii or U. of Puerto Rico or U. of the Virgin Islands. Or perhaps you think, hey, I love the cold, let me switch over to Gustavus Adolphus (another small college that I think flies under the radar that’s less than an hour from St. Olaf and similarly about an hour from Minneapolis), and maybe you’re even able to keep in touch with friends you made at St. Olaf.
(Note: The NSE rules indicate that a student can’t spend more than one academic year at an exchange school, but students are allowed to do additional exchange years at additional schools.)
Then maybe you return to Alabama for your senior year and find that people have matured in the meantime and find some folks who are more simpatico with you. Or (depending on whether Alabama has residency requirements for graduation) you just spend another NSE year away and never step foot on campus again. Or maybe you come back for a free 5th year and get your Master’s and move on to whatever it is you want to do in life.
Frankly, I think there are a lot of people who would love to spend a year on the California coast at Cal Poly - San Luis Obispo or a year in Quebec or wherever. If this is the worst that ends up happening…it’s not that bad. So maybe knowing that your worst case scenario is actually pretty interesting might be enough to take off any unconscious pressure about needing to make solid friends right away at the level and academic rigor that you’re accustomed to. And perhaps having that pressure off might make things happen socially so that you never want to leave Tuscaloosa. Wishing you the best.
Here’s the contact info for the National Student Exchange contact at U. of Alabama:
Stacy Jones, Ed.D.
University of Alabama
3500 Student Center
205-348-3326
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I was just rereading this, and in one way this is a great, and in another way it might be a potential issue. It’s totally possible to make friends in the lab, or while you and a classmate are talking to a professor about some topic from class, or working out, or talking with someone while you wait for the practice room keys.
But, if you’re always busy with something, there may be some people who think that you’ve got it all together and aren’t interested in adding more stuff to your plate (like activities with them). Alternatively, sometimes things just happen organically. You’re in your room in the honors dorm (with your door open) and someone walks by to see if you want to order pizza together or go play foosball. So perhaps just creating some space in your schedule for life to happen might be helpful. And if someone doesn’t drop by your dorm room, maybe you take a walk and then join a group watching a movie together or a conversation about the best meals available from campus dining.
You may already do this, as you’ve been so on top of doing so many recommended things, but in case you weren’t, I just wanted to throw this out there as another idea to consider.
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So there was a thread year’s ago that was similar.
The female student just wanted to meet people that were liked minded. She really wanted to play tennis even though she was just OK, go out after for pizza and have fun
She posted this on the school Facebook /social media somewhere. 8 girls answered. This group grew.
My son answered a Facebook from another student that was liked minded. He was the only one that wanted to start a certain tech organization on campus. That led to forming a board to having conferences and weekly lectures and workshops that helped steer to his internships and job offers.
My point. Your peeps are out there. Now you need to go find them.
You can even post wanting to have educational conversation over making brownies.
Your advisors and professors might be able to help you also.
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Going back to the title of how to love your safety.
Safety has nothing to do with it.
You could be at Harvard or Michigan or Tulane etc and have the exact same issue. And many do.
But you and your friend do need to break from each other’s security blanket situation.
Good luck.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I feel like a lot of people are glossing over the politics of this situation (on campus and at state level) since they are scared of admin blocking them. I would personally not pay for my kids to go to Alabama (for a number of reasons - not just political). I am NOT saying everyone should make that choice, but that is right for my family.
I don’t know you, and so can’t tell you what to do. I agree with others that for many (most?) kids first semester is very hard, and it DOES take time to find your people. There is value in sticking things out often, and but you know yourself… some things just will never work out (no clue if this is the case here). Do you have a helpful someone that knows YOU well? A parent, aunt, former coach, etc? I feel like an open chat would be super helpful!
I also don’t know finances here, which obviously plays a role.
Also, you say are FROM a conservative southern hometown so this isn’t “culture shock” as some say may be the issue.
Wishing you all the best - hugs.
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Also, I could count on one hand the number of times I have heard the N word said aloud in last 30 years. This isn’t normal everywhere, we don’t need to normalize it.
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I’ll also add that whilst it may say 30% of female students are in Greek life, it can FEEL like way more than that especially in freshman year. Freshman year is also the worst for people believing the ABC chapter = losers ( or whatever) gossip.
My D was in a sorority at Bama, and she said it chills out a lot sophomore year onwards. A lot of girls drop out esp junior / senior year as they find their feet and become old enough for bars and not so reliant on frats for entertainment. So it will shift and change.
My D also left her house midway through junior year as she was over the rules, pettiness, and grew out of the activities. She also did not like the conservatism which is at its most in Greek Life esp at Bama. She was never a fan of frat parties.
Her friend group grew over time to include Greek types, girls from her club sport and other clubs, from Blount, friends of friends. But it does take time.
I like the exchange idea. You can also do study abroad. One of my D’s friends only ever did 3 semesters max at Bama through a combo of these things.
Good luck.
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I don’t think anyone is normalizing it.
I know a lot of adults who end up living somewhere which is overall not culturally conducive. The workaround is to find the pockets of like minding individuals… which doesn’t normalize anything, but it provides interesting people who aren’t going to be constantly offending you. And hopefully can create some nice friendships…
“The standard you walk past is the standard you accept”
Note, for one’s mental health (or physical safety) I think people sometimes have to ignore appalling things.
Given this is a message board this is a low stakes place to stand up and almost everyone ignored this seemed to be a normal occurance for the OP.
That said, this is also a low-stakes message board and don’t actually expect everyone to be thinking deeply on each post:)
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Last, I think if people haven’t lived or worked widely, they may not know a different culture / norm is possible 
I will drop whole thing now though, have said my peace:)
I don’t disagree with you. And normalizing appalling behavior becomes a slippery slope.
But short of telling the OP to transfer to XYZ college in ABC state filled with likeminded individuals (which may not be affordable, may not be acceptable to the family, may not be practical given other constraints) how should a college student handle things like hearing frequent racial slurs?
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I had the same experience in college (many years ago). In retrospect - I should have joined more clubs. So ditch the sorority (you don’t have to stay in it) --and join more clubs. ALSO - see if you can join a research lab. Students working in the research lab are likely to be more academically motivated. You can often volunteer, earn credit, or even get paid. Also -try being friends with some of the guys if they seem okay. Sometimes guy friends are nice to have.
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As I said I think she needs to find a trusted adult who knows her and her situation well…I don’t know how much this is impacted her mental health or she is fearful (she doesn’t sound fearful, and I hope she isn’t).
I can’t say more than that - I can’t advise “deal with it” OR " leave" with any ability based on this post alone.
Tbh I ignore it. If that makes me a bad person so be it, because I’m 5’2 110 lbs. I’m not about to pick a fight with a drunk frat dude the size of a grown man
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