You are not a bad person. And avoiding fights with people who are physically bigger than you is a great life’s lesson!!! Hugs.
This is a real issue (5’1" 110 pounds - I see you).
Finances are big enough that sticking it out is the only logical option. I’m seeing some lawsuits and uproar about the new law and how it’s affecting our education, so hopefully, it gets reversed. I’m not a legal expert, but IMO it has a decent shot at being reversed by the courts.
Regardless, I can’t really leave, and definitely not over politics. My dad would not pay more just for me to go to a more liberal school, lol. He has 6 kids so I can’t blame him. Also, I feel like if everyone at Bama who felt that way just left, it would just get worse. FWIW, I also am thinking of going into maternal care (OB) and still would want to work in the South despite restrictions, because they need more maternal healthcare professionals. So I guess that’s just my nature.
Please don’t assume kids at Bama are different than other places. We are Jewish - my son never saw anything. In fact, Bama has a huge Hillel. He said it’s all media.
There is a poster on here who’s kid is gay and has had a wonderful experience.
There are drunk and stupid kids everywhere. I saw more confederate flags in 3 days in upstate NY than i see in a year in TN, AL, MS during my travels.
There are stupid people and bigotry and those type things everywhere - unfortunately.
Yes, there are state laws and they are changing things but hopefully most kids aren’t impacted day to day by them - no matter how denigrating they are.
Leaving Bama to say, Michigan, doesn’t necessarily cure what you say you are experiencing.
I am glad that your son never saw anything! I mean this as politely and respectfully as possible, but based on your posts and responses so far, it seems like your son and I have had different experiences at the University. It is a very large school, so that is not surprising to me! Regardless, your son seeing or not seeing certain things and experiencing or not experiencing certain things does not affect what I see or experience. I am well aware that there are all kinds of kids everywhere, which is one of many reasons I would not leave over politics. But, Bama is regarded as one of the most conservative colleges (excluding religious ones) for a reason. If I were at Sarah Lawrence or Berkeley and complaining about how liberal it is, it wouldn’t make sense to say that the kids there are the same as anywhere else because they aren’t.
The state law absolutely affects students and faculty in polysci, psychology, sociology, or any other discipline similar, but I am not in any of those, so it only affects me in electives. Which is not a huge deal. But, it definitely does impact some kids day to day. Especially minority students who no longer have a lot of DEI resources.
I don’t really want to argue about it, which it almost seems like you are trying to do (sorry if I’m misunderstanding). I’m very happy that your son has loved his time at Bama!!
Oh come on, Michigan’s culture and Alabama’s are not similar! I live in the northeastern bubble, and all my kids went South for college. And they had great experiences. But culturally those Southern Schools were not like comparable northeastern schools – in some ways for the better and in some ways for worse.
I applaud the OP, who really sounds fantastic, and like she has her act together. OP, I admire you!
Thank you for this update, I had not heard! Until recently, the maximum was 1 year/2 semesters total, and some schools’ websites do not yet reflect the new rule. Great news for those who really want multiple study-away opportunities.
Thank you for sharing your lived experience and I very much admire your self awareness.
While it may work for some and it is clearly a great financial option, Bama may not be a good fit for all kids. The school is undeniably influenced by Greek, sports and southern cultures set within the State of Alabama. The schools history is its history. To ignore these realities is to misguide future students.
OP- I am literally in tears at the thought of you wanting to provide maternal health care in the South. If there was ever an example of a “profile in courage” it’s you! You should be very proud of the decisions you’ve made in life that have brought you to this moment.
There ARE like minded people near and around you. They may not be in your sorority. I am professionally friendly with women in Oklahoma and Arkansas who have worked in the trenches for maternal and fetal care-- so I’m pretty sure they are where you are as well. You’re a college kid, so you don’t want your entire life being turned over to one single issue. But connecting with a couple of the organizations who are working medically, legally, political advocacy, practically, etc. might give you a sense of purpose? A summer job? Professional mentors?
Hugs. I’ll bet there are grad students in the psych, sociology departments who feel the way you do. Nothing says you can’t be friends with a 23 year old!!!
This may be one of the most tone-deaf things I’ve read on CC in a long time.
You have an actual, living human being on campus who is reporting actual personal experiences- and your answer is that according to your son (who is not living on campus right now) it’s all media? Are you intentionally gaslighting this poster or just trying to make her feel uncomfortable enough so that she doesn’t come back to CC for some help with a problem she’s facing???
Yes, this is a good point since I see Bama recommended on here all the time. It is an AMAZING opportunity financially. I can’t stress that enough; it is incredible. And especially for business, education, nursing, and STEM, the professors and resources are really good. But, prospective students should be made aware of the environment in case that is a big deal for them.
I live in the (deep) south, went to college in the midwest, and have had stints living in other parts of the country. My husband is from Michigan and we visited his family in October. When I saw all the signs and flags flying around the suburbs of Detroit, I had an (accurate) premonition of how the presidential election would turn out, and they were not just signs with a candidate’s name. And these were not exurbs bordering on rural parts of the state…these were what I’d consider inner suburbs. Though I live in a very blue city, the next parish (county) over about 10-15 minutes away voted extremely red, and I still didn’t see the kinds and numbers of signs that I saw in Michigan. (I am in that county at least 2x/week.)
So yes, there are differences between various regions but, sadly, the use of derogatory terms toward people of other races or sexual orientations is not limited to one region of our country, and I don’t want that to be a takeaway from the conversation.
Thank you, @elise123, for your thoughtful, reflective, and respectful contributions to this forum. I think it would be great if we focus in on providing suggestions that can help OP with the current topic of loving the school she is currently at.
My D was there 2018-2022. We think that the school has changed even in this short time from when she arrived on campus. Whilst it is a fabulous financial deal (it’s why D attended, that plus Blount), the cultural and political landscape will not be for everyone and that needs to be taken into account.
D said if she was applying now she would not consider it. My other kids were not / are not interested either.
I’m not saying they are the same. I’m saying there are kids who say stupid things and do stupid things everywhere. And there are rednecks in most places, even blue states outside the city centers.
My point is leaving does not necessarily solve the issues mentioned…many of the issues mentioned.
The bigger issue (to me) is that OP and her friend are using each other as a crutch - that needs to be broken. It’s nice to have that security blanket but it also leaves you in this trap of not meeting kids. Bama is loaded with Illinois, NY/NJ/CT, and CA kids - there is geographic diversity in spades.
@elise123 good for you for reaching out here as well as looking for varying opportunities on campus.
Keep looking for like minded friends. You will find them, perhaps in some of your activities.
Neither of my kids were friends with college roommates…cordial, yes. Buddy buddy…no.
This seems like a local place where you might be able to volunteer and find more people aligned with your beliefs.
I don’t want to stay off topic (sorry moderators) but to respond for any prospective NMF students reading:
If you’re going into business, nursing, STEM, or engineering, the laws shouldn’t affect your major’s classes too much, if at all. Maybe a bit for education, and quite possibly for anything in the humanities, depending on the discipline. The DEI ban prevents the university from funding DEI initiatives, but it does not prevent DEI-type student organizations. There are several black student organizations and organizations for women, just not as much from the university itself. I’ve also seen organizations for Native American students, Hispanic students, and Asian students. Just from student orgs, not from the University. There is also a good support system for first-gen students, from what I’ve seen and heard. There is a noticeable lack of LGBTQ+ resources if that is important to an applicant. There are several clubs for progressive issues, although attendance may be a bit lower than at other schools. However, the general campus opinion is definitely right-leaning, sometimes strongly.
If you are more progressive and do not fit the bama stereotype, I would strongly recommend joining a specific honors program. If you think you would enjoy Greek life and can afford it, go for it; you can always drop. But don’t rush just to rush because it’s what everyone else seems to be doing, what your family or friends want you to do, etc. That’s what I did, and I think I would’ve been in a crowd I enjoyed more if I hadn’t have. But the specific honors programs have more smart people that don’t fit the bama stereotype, and I would say the people in them as a whole are more left-leaning.
Basically, my point is don’t let it scare you away from free college (and possibly a free masters). Do take it into consideration, but don’t just read this thread and get scared away. A lot of my problem was ending up with the wrong people for me!
Edit: Note–it could change with the new administration, which seems to side with where the state of Alabama is headed. If there is any NMF student worried, feel free to PM me in April or May when new laws have had time to pass and the effects of new executive orders have set in.
But during what years? It is possible that the campus population and the state government views and actions on matters of race, gender, religion, etc. have changed since then.