<p>Have your husband look at some of the Acceptance threads that each college has going right now. I’ve never seen so much unpredictability as this year. Here is a post from a person with Ivy stats waitlisted at Bucknell:</p>
<p>"waitlisted too 2250 m800 cr710 w740 3.9+ UW and shocked! IDK "</p>
<p>breathedeeply - you cannot change your H’s behavior, but you CAN change how you react to it. You busted your butt to guide your S toward the best possible opportunities and your S appreciates this loving gesture.</p>
<p>Your H knew for 18 years that this was coming down the pike, so if he had plenty of time to provide his desired input. I am sorry to tell him, but he cannot jump in at the end of the game and change the rules.</p>
<p>Stay strong and be proud of all you have accomplished!</p>
<p>Schmaltz - I was just getting used to the boxer short image and now you have introduced the “patio paver sandwich” image. Yikes!!!</p>
<p>Schmaltz is my new hero (post #70 did it; #71 sealed the deal).</p>
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<p>Yes! I am married to this same exact guy. :eek:</p>
<p>Even if he takes the garbage out, he never puts a new garbage bag in. HILLARIOUS now. Not so much when the kids were little and I felt run around. So funny.</p>
<p>Of course, since H doesn’t post on CC you will never know MY annoying habits.</p>
<p>Schmaltz, whatever else you may be, you are always bravely one to wade right into the midst of a thread like this and add perspective. Props for that.</p>
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<p>There was a theory during my older kids’ admission cycle that “demonstrating interest” (such as a campus visit) was a factor for out of state schools when the adcoms were deciding which x of the y qualified out-of-town kids they would offer, and which they would waitlist. So when DD1 was waitlisted (and at that time, I had never heard of CC, or “yield”, or tufts syndrome or any such jargon) one seasoned CCer told me that was my mistake that caused a waitlist versus an accept.</p>
<p>jmmom, you need to raise your standards a bit. My personal heroes are the people who clean up hotel rooms. I don’t even like cleaning my OWN bathroom, much less a bathroom which was abused by hirsute Floyd from Syracuse after he dined on stuffed cabbage and cheesecake at the local greasy spoon and washed it all down with 8 beers and 3 espressos.</p>
<p>*Depending on the actual image, I think it might be Mrs. Schmaltz that is drinking the beer! *</p>
<p>ROTFLMAO</p>
<p>breathedeeply - you cannot change your H’s behavior, but you CAN change how you react to it.</p>
<p>Yes, after any future criticisms, just calmly say, “you have no idea of what you’re talking about. You need to remain quiet and appear stupid instead of opening your mouth and removing all doubt.”</p>
<p>*POIH – my first reaction is “You can’t be serious!” But, since I’m quite sure you are serious, I’ll chalk it up to a cultural difference. *</p>
<p>In what culture is it “ok” to blame another person for something that he/she has no control over? In what culture is it “ok” to be completely irrational? Whatever culture that is, I not only want to avoid it completely, but I pray that it doesn’t get any hold in this country.</p>
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<p>Given how unproductive and good-for-nothing most blaming and finger-pointing is, I thought my services were over-priced. I take something that is worthless and turn it into $5 (for me).</p>
<p>But given human nature, particularly as it pertains to marriage relationships, I figure even with low prices I can still make a fortune on volume.</p>
<p>Ah yes Poet…I’m sure my H can bring up a couple (I never screw the tops of things on correctly or tightly I must confess) and I’m annoyingly punctual to a degree that I occasionally annoy myself. Schmaltz you are fabulous and Mrs. Schmaltz is a fortunate person I suspect.</p>
<p>I think we may be twins separated at birth. One year I had to make a new year’s resolution not to be five minutes early for everything. My kids say no matter what time I leave the house, even if I leave ten minutes late, I get there five minutes early. :p</p>
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<p>I think we may be twins separated at birth Poetgrl. I inheirited that “gene” from my mother, and my daughter already has it as well!</p>
<p>Who knew? I thought I was the only one.</p>
<p>Well then I’m married to your polar opposite…H can leave 10 minutes early and still be 15 minutes late</p>
<p>I’m early for EVERYTHING…unless my husband is driving. Then I’m late. It’s in his family gene pool…late for everything.</p>
<p>I arrive on time.</p>
<p>OP, while I think I am also married to your H, mine wisely did not blame me for college results. He grumbled about me being on CC constantly, but it gave me the ammo to demonstrate how much the admissions environment has changed from when he and I applied to schools. I started talking about it S1’s junior year of HS as S started looking at schools, so there was some glimmer of understanding of how many incredible kids were being turned down/WL at schools that would appear to be slam dunks. Guess I have learned how to avoid the snarkiness – at least on occasion, though I’d probably get less of the cr*p if I stood up to it more often. </p>
<p>I hope you confronted the H about his remarks.</p>
<p>Breathedeeply, you did the best job you could. Alas, parents don’t get to be on the admissions committees. 
If your S was not prepared to commit to an ED II, then it’s best he didn’t. I kind of held my breath about S2 not applying EDII to one of his top two choices, but he wasn’t ready to forsake all others yet, either. </p>
<p>POIH, clearly this parent did a good job with her S, since he has gotten into multiple honors programs with merit $$. The lottery nature of admissions has changed quite dramatically in just the past couple of years. I could tell the difference between S1 and S2’s college process, and they applied only two years apart.</p>
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<p>I never asked for agreement but each family circumstances are different. There are very legitimate/practical reasons for one person to take a back seat and it’s not at all absurd. </p>
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<p>It’s true that college admissions are unpredictable but if OP’s DS has done everything possible at his end then OP’s DH can only blame OP because of her leading role.</p>
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<p>I noted in my post that being a Dad I was not only responsible for the financial but also took the leading role in the college admission process. So OP’s DH could have done it too. But I still can convince myself that there are situation where it’s not possible for person responsible for finances to find time to take active role in college admission process.</p>
<p>Sorry, making money at our house doesn’t exempt one from responsibility. My H managed to take both of our kids to a number of schools and rack up thousands of miles, despite working insane hours.</p>
<p>POIH, you don’t have to be involved in the process. But if you don’t help cook the meal, don’t blame someone else if you don’t like the way it tastes.</p>
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<p>You can’t force a child 5000 miles away to call if (s)he doesn’t want. DW was unreasonable to demand DD to pickup phone whenever she calls her but it was unreasonable for DD to argue that she won’t have time to call even once.
I was able to convince DD about the value of the call and DW about DD right to call when she wants and not when DW wants. That’s what I think is good parenting. Now DD calls whenever she wants to and everyone is happy. There have been times when she doesn’t call but text saying she might not be able to call which is acceptable too.</p>