Where has the OP gone?? We have so many questions.
I think we may have upset her with some posters suggestion of an affair.
Yeah… LL Cool J… 
My spouse has changed his hair style in the past, not shaving it off but different styles on occasion. I say “it looks good” or I say nothing.
I have changed my hair style in the past, different styles on occasion. He says nothing. When I once asked about how I should have his hair, he was like “I don’t know, whatever you want”.
I feel that the only comment to make is that if the husband didn’t warn the OP, and he doesn’t want to talk about it, leave him be. Talk about “what it means” is a waste of time. I would not be more or less suspicious of my spouse if he shaved his head.
If my spouse didn’t want tot talk about it, I’d assume he was probably not happy with the new look and looking forward to growing it out. H has never consulted me about haircuts, nor have I consulted him. I’d had some very awful ones, but we’ve both taken them in stride.
@Himom,
Okay, this statement just begs for elaboration, lol.
I haven’t done anything drastic in a long time, but last time I cut a lot off the stylist asked if it was okay with my husband. I was kind of annoyed with that.
Well, when I first returned to HI from law school, I was desparately trying to find a good hairdresser. Each one decided I was the perfect person to try their strangest haircut and/or perm on. I had asymetric cuts, one that made me look like Shirley Temple with dark hair, and other terrible hairdos. H couldn’t decide whether I was a cynical divorcee or someone who just had no taste in beauty stylists. Fortunately, he decided to give me a chance, so he asked me out and two years later we were maried. Fortunately, have found two good syllists now and have neverr had a truly awful haircut in some decades now.
This thread was a stunner to me. It’s never once occurred to me that how i look or dress would be a point of discussion unless I am asked Then my response would be the same as I get when I ask my H an opinion “You look great!.” But my H also has sporadically along the way done drastic things with his head hair and/or beard hair. - on and off, on and off and every once in while he does nothing for so long I’m tempted to tell him he looks like a person whose been on a deserted island for years. I find it amusing because I do the same thing - long, then short, than chin length…I get bored and want a change. I suspect the OP’s H was bored looking at the same face in the mirror everyday.
OP, come back! It would be great to hear an update on how you are feeling as time progresses - maybe as the newness wears off??
My husband really dislikes short hair on women. I don’t personally look good with short hair so it’s not an issue. I’d think just a matter of conversation you’d bring up making a huge change in your appearance. I wouldn’t like it either, but hubby is hanging onto his hair like grim death - even takes propecia. It’s not permission seeking, but conversational and being aware of the feelings of the other person.
Yes OP we have to know “how does he look?” You never really said whether you liked it or not.
If I made a drastic change in my hair on a whim, and it didn’t turn out well, I’d want a hug and reassurance from my spouse (if I had one). It would really hurt my feelings if my spouse berated me for ruining my best feature, etc. If he did react with a strongly negative attitude, I wouldn’t want to talk about it either.
I agree, eyemamom. about 2 years ago, i let my hair grow for my g/f, a cancer patient. She had always kidded how similar our hair was. Now my hair is a few inches below shoulder length. i had lots of comments after cutting it.
i was meeting up with son at an airport taxi place, and I could not find him. He had cut his hair short. I guess this was 8 years ago. This past year he let hair grow and grew a beard. I would not have recognized him. To him, it was fun to change his look. The only thing that matters is how he, and his g/f, feel about the new look.
I guess I’d be more curious about a grown man making such a drastic change, without talking about it first. seems weird.
I think OP, the er, t r o (you know) got the result they were looking for. Five entire pages of responses. But I’m stunned too by the number of people who insist their spouse get permission to make “drastic” changes of something not permanent. Surely no one expects their spouse to never have thinning or gray hair, or have any other physical changes due to age. If the OP is real, maybe her H won’t discuss it because he’s so appalled that he was expected to ask permission. Wonder if his wife would still find him attractive if he lost all his hair? Or what about a scar? Or age spots? What, are we supposed to never change how we look-fight age with everything we have at our disposal? Facial sanding, hair transplants, etc.? Ugh.
I’ve been sick as a dog all week and my H has done it all-worked, taken D to school and all her activities, grocery shopped, cooked, AND taken care of me. I look like I got hit by a truck, and he doesn’t care.He could shave his head tomorrow or dye his hair purple and I wouldn’t care. It’s what’s on the INSIDE.
Yea, H has been a peach with me and my broken fibula and crutches as well. I feel very blessed!
“But I’m stunned too by the number of people who insist their spouse get permission to make “drastic” changes of something not permanent. Surely no one expects their spouse to never have thinning or gray hair, or have any other physical changes due to age. If the OP is real, maybe her H won’t discuss it because he’s so appalled that he was expected to ask permission. Wonder if his wife would still find him attractive if he lost all his hair? Or what about a scar?”
Making a deliberate drastic change in one’s appearance (shaving head, getting a very short haircut if you have long hair, getting a tattoo, getting a breast augmentation, etc.) is completely different from a) unavoidable changes from the natural passage of time (such as thinning or gray hair) and b) consequences of a medical issue (such as a c-section or surgical scar). I don’t see what they have to do with one another. No one is saying that they expect their spouse to look exactly as they did in their early twenties.
As an example, my H is indifferent to scars that I have (C-section plus a large scar on my thigh from an accident) but that doesn’t mean he’d be indifferent if I got a big tattoo there.
Comparing these changes to natural-ravages-of-time doesn’t make any sense to me.
And call me superficial, we were attracted to each other physically at first.
Okay, but the OP’s husband didn’t get a drastic change in his hair, he shaved his head. If you shaved your head and your husband had a strongly negative reaction, you would shut down? I mean, you wouldn’t deem it remotely worthy of convo? At all? You left the house with a full head of hair, you’ve never verbalized a fantasy of going bald, you walk through the door one day having shaved every hair off your head and you expect no reaction and will have your feelings hurt if your husband is upset?
At the end of the day, my hair is my hair. I don’t have to ASK PERMISSION to shave my head. However, I would let my husband know my thoughts before I just walked in bald. But I also tell my husband my thoughts on lots of subjects. We are partners, we are very close, so we talk…about a lot of things. We disagree, sometimes pretty vigorously. But at least it’s very rarely a total surprise when one of us acts on our convictions.
The OP has never said her husband had to ask for permission. Yet post after post has ascribed that to her. I wonder why?
I think a woman going from long hair to very short is the equivalent to a man going from full head of hair to a shaved, bald head. A shaved head on a man is a trendy, stylish look (albeit not to everyone’s taste). A shaved head on a woman is completely different.