@mom60 - your post is wonderful! I’m obviously sorry that you’ve had so many hardships throughout life, but it is so inspiring that you took the initiative to have a new start. It’s fantastic that you see this as a great time in your life. I’m also saying “yes” more.
In my opinion, for which you did not ask, ha,ha, you should NOT retire. Why would you if your job is rewarding and you are physically and mentally able?
I absolutely loved my profession but hated the job which was ruined by corporate crap. I perhaps would still be working had things been different. But one day, just like that, as Forrest would say, I was done. Finished. They broke me. I had done a good job, I was a great employee and co-worker and professional but it was over for me. I am so blessed that it also coincided with retirement age! And also, dh is 8 years older and required major back surgery and recovery so it turned out to be the right time for us as a couple.
Losing him is the biggest fear of my life. I could use a thread talking about this issue. But I digress.
And yeah, no joke about the clothes. I sold most of mine on consignment.
That’s why I don’t volunteer at the free clinic. I am not going to maintain my pharmacy license and required Continuing Ed to do that. It’s a shame.
I bought travel insurance for our river cruise last fall. Luckily, we didn’t have to use it. But I did it because my mom is 98. And don’t you know, she became ill and ended up in the hospital while I was gone!! Lots of phone calls and wringing of hands but it was clear she was going to survive most likely and I got home and got to her as she was still in hospital so it worked out.
@oldmom4896 : You’re only four months older than I. But you still win, since I didn’t go back to school in my later 60s!!
Best thread ever. You all rock. You inspire me. I am my own worst enemy, always have been.
Proud of you @oldmom4896 ! @mom60 Saying yes can be a hard thing. So can saying no…
Thank you all for sharing. I’m experiencing some angst too - accelerated I think by just turning 65 and realizing that I have far more years behind me than ahead of me, and wondering what the heck I had been doing all those years. Really - where did the years go? I have to remind myself that I raised two great kids (albeit ones who still sometimes keep me worrying into the night), have been pretty successful in a difficult profession (but could I have done better if I’d worked harder, made better decisions, focused more on my strengths?), have an exceptionally close and happy family (but should I have tried harder to spend more time with them and keep in closer touch?). Etc. But as others have noted - that thinking gets me nowhere, and I am working hard on being intentional on how I spend my time, and living in the moment (in addition to making fun future plans). Some days are easier than others.
I love the stories about parents going back to school, especially in their 60’s. I keep thinking about it but fatigue is an issue (I am on a med that exacerbates fatigue). Some people here have expressed that they feel “tired.” I don’t know if I am looking for permission to do something more like school, or permission to stay on the couch. In the winter, on dark mornings, it is even hard to get to Tai Chi, which does help.
Our presidential candidates (not being political here) are mostly older than I am, and they make me feel as if I am giving in too early!
Thanks to all for sharing your stories. I sometimes think of the lyric fromJohn Mellencamp in “Jack and Diane”: “Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone”. Yet the song ends with the more hopeful “Two American kids doing the best they can.”
I am so impressed @oldmom4896 at changing careers in your 60s. I thought about it, but never had the drive or energy (and my job was fine so not that much incentive).
I think @mom60 made a great point:
One of things that helped me shake some of the angst was to realize that only I could make myself happy. My relationship with my DH has its share of negativity, but enough good stuff to stay. I also have friends facing more significant challenges with their own health and with their kid’s mental health than I face with mine. Choosing happiness, keeping busy (and being thankful I can afford the gym, outings and art class), and using the creative side of my brain really helps.
I don’t have the typical business wardrobe since we are pretty casual, but I have a LOT of clothes and shoes. All would be wearable (well- maybe not the company logo blazers), but there is just a lot…
My husband has a lot of, um, projects. I appreciate many of them, but right now he is down a rabbit hole of digitizing all of our old slides and negatives. I arrive home from work and he shoves a picture in my face from 25 years ago and says “Any idea where this was taken?” Not sure I want whole days of that…
I have been appreciating all your thoughtful responses! For me, I feel mixed. Personally, there’s a lot I like of where I am, but there are things that are unsettled. The first is, I really, really want to retire. I have no qualms about it; my job has never been my life, though it is very rewarding. I have a tiny writing career that I would like to nurture but it’s hard to fit into the cracks, even with a lot of the summer off. So retiring would mean getting my head back, and being able to concentrate for longer lengths of time.
Retiring would also be good for my health–both physical and mental. It’s just an added stress and sops up time for exercise and planning out good eating.
However, it would also reduce our income. My possible plan is tosemi-rtire-- go back to adjuncting a couple classes a year and start collecting SS early (62 in June.) But that’s a bit less than my salary, and also, I cover our health benefits and they’ll cost thousands more when H takes them over.
But for me, my bigger stresses are definitely existential. I’m paralyzed with dread over the huge changes that are coming with climate change–keeps me awake worrying about what kind of future my GD, and all the babies, will have. I’m also worried about the state of the world which seems to be teetering to war and authoritarianism in many countries (I’ll leave it at that). It’s not so much myself that i"m worried about as the young folk.
Retiring will give me more time to fight the good fight, so that’s one way I may be able to feel better–knowing I am doing what I can to push the scales toward progress and a safe future.
Picking your protests is another option for free time, garland. Right now, I’m not certain how much authroity the common voice gets. But it can influence the next generation to speak out, in their turn.
I think a lot of us have “tiny writing careers” here on CC (ha!), but I’ve got that same goal, @garland. I’ve done some freelancing over the years, but I’ve never wanted any additional commitments or deadlines (too much of that in my prior work life). Anyway, I have the time now so I, too, may do some of that nurturing in the future.
Again, same here. I signed up to help on a 2020 political campaign as I can’t just keep telling myself that all I can do is vote.
And then this came out of left field last weekend. We attended our last Academy Ball while our son was home. The Navy captain who was his Blue and Gold Officer during his application round always attends the ball and sought me out after dinner to say that he would like to recommend me for the BGO program as he thinks I would be an excellent candidate guide. Our Army son is appalled that I would go over to the dark side, but I am considering it. Kinda like military CC IRL. We’ll see.
Anyway, for me, keeping active and busy is not the antidote for my internal angst as it is not caused by idleness or feelings of personal uselessness. Yes, I need to find another mountain or two, but those I can find or make (if I can get off the Internet long enough). Busyness just diverts my attention from whatever is driving this sense of loss. Like @garland, I find myself despairing over things I’m helpless to do much about it. Is this really about bodily aging or is it about aging into the reality of this time and place? I listen to our son’s rather dystopian world view and wonder if he chose the military because he sees it as the (ironically) safest and most secure place to be when harder and harder lines are being drawn both economically and globally. He is a deep thinker with an informed understanding of domestic and world issues, and what he ponders only deepens my concerns for him and for all of us. This world we’ve made is a tough legacy. His reality informs my reality. What to do about it and where to find lasting hope for the future is certainly part of my unease.
@lookingforward --Re: influencing the next generation–my next generation are pretty much full-time fighters of the good fight; I’m just keeping up. My one year old GD has probably attended more protests than the average CC’er! 
Stop listening to young people. They don’t know what they’re talking about.
“Babies born in America today are the luckiest crop in history.” — Warren Buffett
“Now is the best time, pretty much. Those who think the past is better have not read enough history.” — Elon Musk
“The world is getting better, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.” — Bill Gates
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/07/19/musk-gates-and-buffett-say-now-is-the-best-time-to-be-alive.html
What do those 3 guys have in common? They are in the .001 percent.
@ChoatieMom If it’s any consolation, I believe every generation has worried about the world they’ve created and/or are leaving behind. There are temporary times when dreams may surge, we think it’s safe to be hopeful. But even then, terrible worries. (Add me to tose who aren’t sure if we can mention certain things. But just when more were buying homes, diseases were being cured, more kids were getting more education, we had genuine threats to keep us awake.)
…
For a moment, with the talk of going back to school, I was struck by how very much each of us IS involved with, a little shadow of the superwoman days. Even those of us who claim not to do much. I think we don’t always realize the amount of stress (and it’s sisters, anxiety, insecurity, etc,) we carry. Because we’ve trained ourselves to.
Because, by gummy, we’re strong! I wonder if there’s room on our priority lists for just being kinder to ourselves, more forgiving, sometimes choosing to get off the treadmill, for a few moments. On an easy day, most of us are probably still operating on high octane.
Let’s not turn this lovely thread away from its gentle sharing of our humanity.
So much wisdom and insight and candor in this thread. OP, thank you for starting it; it’s been a meaningful one to read through.
I will add that there are many external factors that are increasing my own unease these days. In general, the family - the nuclear and the extended one - is doing OK. No major hurdles, unusual fears. But I worry about our country. I worry about the thousands of homeless people living in makeshift tents in my economically thriving state of the richest nation on Earth. I worry about our environment. I see political turmoil worldwide. I don’t have grandchildren, and may never have them - but I do worry: what kind of world will they face? Have we finally gotten to that place where NOT having grandchildren makes you feel… relieved?