<p>Okay, it is “free dress” at Ds HS today…tropical theme…I told her her skirt was too short (dress code is knee length) she and her sister told me “well this week is different and everyone is wearing short skirts”</p>
<p>me: well, its too short, please bring pants just in case
her: mom, you are being ridiculous, its fine
me: its too short
her: you are driving me crazy its fine</p>
<p>her, calling in a panic: can you bring jeans to the flagpole before school starts, asap?</p>
<p>Of course I drive down there, she doesn’t come out, I wait, find someone to give pants to D so she has them, a very understanding teacher who brings them to her first period class</p>
<p>It was first meeting of yearbook today, she was very excited, but she might have detention because of short skirt…and miss it</p>
<p>I am more angry because of her snooty know everything attitude and blowing me off than the actual detention…but missing the yearbook meeting, the first one, is really irresponsible of her…taking a chance so she looks cute…arggghhh</p>
<p>Okay, okay I know you’re angry but I was laughing the whole time I read your post. Teenagers are the devil’s spawn – I take comfort that I’m not the only one being driven insane.</p>
<p>Teenagers are not the devil’s spawn - they just stumble over our hypocrisy. So they set “free dress tropical”, and then when someone shows up in a tropical sun dress, or a hula skirt (authentic, no top), the adults go ballistic.</p>
<p>Exactly how “free” was the “free dress”? :(</p>
<p>within dress code…so skirt was supposed to be at knee, but many girls broke dress code yesterday, so duh, they will enforce it the next day</p>
<p>I think she looked adorable, but, when they say “within dress code” they mean it- so skirt length is enforced, but you don’[t have to wear a polo</p>
<p>Its gonna be hard to bite my tongue, as I said it wasn’t the detention, nor the skirt, it was her attitude, that I was here just to make her miserable, that I am clueless and have NO IDEA what I am talking about- the skirt issue has been going on and this year they have been sticklers, but of course my Ds both knew best…</p>
<p>That is what was so irritating</p>
<p>and her sister, well mom, LOTS of girls were wearing short skirts, that teacher is just mean…</p>
<p>yeah, well, you break the rules, be sure you will be the only one caught</p>
<p>worse things in life to be sure, but I WAS RIGHT AND SHE WAS WRONG</p>
<p>We know you were right. She can join my son in detention tomorrow for getting caught in a tardy sweep. He was only 2 minutes late so what was I getting all caught up about. And he still insisted that it was possible to drive to McDonalds with 4 friends, order, eat there, drive back and walk to class and be seated in 30 minutes. Which any sane person knows is not possible.
And the thing is they will do the whole thing all over again.</p>
<p>thank you, cause I am sure she won’t tell me I was right, but that’s okay, it will be in the air, floating around</p>
<p>worse things to be sure, but I use these moments to say, “sometimes, I do have a clue, daughter dearest, and once your head stops spinning around like that, you will see that”</p>
<p>and, you know it was the really slow lady at the cash registers fault, and they should have run the reds to make it on time</p>
<p>So why did you drive the pants to the flag pole and hang around until someone took pity on you and gave them to “Miss Know It All”? I dont quite get that part. You sound pretty calm to me…what would have happened had she not gotten an alternative article of clothing?</p>
<p>CGM: the really annoying thing is that right or wrong, she could have taken the “just in case jeans” and not hassled you. </p>
<p>I have been known to not rescue the kid in these situations, obviously depending on the situation and the context and the consequences- which ones will teach more, mine or the ones about to be encountered!
Then again, I have driven an hour to take sporting equipment so that the team will not be let down, but hey, I got to watch the game, so I did not mind! I will rescue when the others(team) are depending on the kid, but am more likely to allow her to struggle when it only affects her ;)</p>
<p>she would have gotten worse detention, missed class, thus missing a quiz and getting a zero, we are allowed to bring clothes if they break dress code, it was her first offense, and I was able to do it</p>
<p>ah, she will owe me for my time, that is her punishment from me…she has to give me 45 minutes of time doing household chores, sounds harsh, but its not like she didn’t know and wasn’t advised against the short skirt</p>
<p>so, if Ds do something really dumb, when I, or their Dad, have given what is usually sound advice, if we have to take our time to remedy situation, they owe us that time back</p>
<p>and they get that…works pretty well actually…that time I spent waiting, running around, I could have been doing something else, so they “give me back” my time…it usually ends up being fun and a chance to talk about stuff…we kind of like sweeping the stairs and baseboards, or washing a few windows</p>
<p>Yeah, I like that technique, the amount of time I spent gathering the goods, racing to school, waiting around and then getting back to being busy is the amount of time they can help me out with things I need done. My H still thinks I am too willing to rescue!</p>
<p>I guess as long as she understands the value of your time and that is all that you see as being the problem…it works. I just wonder what her reaction would have been had the logical consequence befell her…skirt too short and she failed to plan by taking another article of clothing…what then?</p>
<p>Yep. Have had the almost the exact conversation with my teens and now my 12 year old. And now my 16 year old is taking a moral development class (one of the religion requirements at her school) and claims that all this nonsense (mostly the inflexible positions she takes on whatever comes up) is because she is a “stage five” in her moral development and that’s what stage fives do. And our seven year old, according to her, is a “stage two” and stage twos respond to being punished, so I should punish the seven year old if she acts up, but not the 16 year old because stage fives don’t respond to punishment . . . But the seven year old needs to learn there are consequences to her actions (and the sixteen year old does not?) So her dad and I ask her, “so, we should hold the seven year old to higher standards than we hold you?” Good grief, what next . . . Right now, I feel like my sixteen year old was smarter two years ago and is getting dumber by the year . . . even a year ago, I had such high hopes . . .</p>
<p>I can understand Mini’s point about adult hypocrisy. My daughter was called out by a teacher because of a too-short skirt (I actually didn’t think so, but…) While she was being written up, a cheerleader flounces by the teacher’s desk wearing her uniform skirt, which is MUCH shorter than my daughter’s. No problem with that because it’s a uniform, says the teacher.</p>
<p>My in-laws always had a saying for their son (my H), it basically wishes all of the pleasant times they had raising their DS on us too. Another words, I hope that your kids pay you back for all the rough times you gave us!</p>
(not sure if I would be able to…)</p>