<p>CGM: I really like your technique of returning time. I’m going to remember that one.</p>
<p>Hazmat - It’s the poor teachers at our school who are under the gun to report “violators”. I know that teachers don’t always agree, but they’re kinda between a rock & a hard place. I don’t blame them - They are accountable to administration.</p>
<p>mom60</p>
<p>That was funny. Next time maybe they’ll eat in the car??</p>
<p>I am just not used to an individual teacher dishing it out…that must be hard to do…plus they obviously know that “uniforms” are off limits. I love reading about this and the lunch trip with the hobbled walker…so funny.</p>
<p>I love it when my kiddos say “Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw no one likes a told-you-so!!!” Yep, that’s me, the told-you-so mom. But then again the five of them would have a hard time getting out of the house if I don’t like what they are wearing. Heck, according to them, the school dress code is much more liberal than I. No saggy pants, always a belt, clean shoes, no tight shirts boy/girls, no funky shirts, military haircut for the boys, hair up in either a pony-tail or bun for the girls, little to no make-up, no funky shoes- all closed-toe…</p>
<p>And since they were athletes, no roller-blading, no ice-skating, no trampoline, no snow boarding…</p>
<p>See Mother Mean=Kat</p>
<p>And yep, mine would have had detention, and I am sure I would have had to park the car, get a pass to be on campus, WALK ALL AROUND CARRYING HER PANTS, searching for her and finally finding her to present her with her pants. I know my son LOVED this when he forgot his “necessary” equipment for football. Oh yes, he just LOVED it!!!</p>
<p>So far, years later neither he nor his 4 sibs have forgotten anything major or at least I haven’t heard about it. Yep, the kiddos think school has far less rules than the house does…just the way I like it!!!</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>It all worked out, the teacher had picked on a bunch of freshman girls, who got pants, no detention, as he didn’t collect names</p>
<p>As D was waiting for me in the morning, the Dean of Discipline went by and said “hey neat outfit, great school spirit”</p>
<p>D was embarrassed because a teacher brought in her pants during french class, she meakly said Merci…</p>
<p>and he said, Ciao</p>
<p>Kat, That is really funny! At least you can laugh a little too :)</p>
<p>Some of you may appreciate why some teachers are in favor of uniforms. A skirt or blouse on one student may be fairly appropriate but if the student grows it crosses a line, or if another student with a different build wears the same outfit it is a violation…None of us want to be the clothes police, we came to teach…but it is also unpleasant for a teacher to be criticized by a principal for failing to enforce the code. Once in Hawaii, a young girls plunging neckline resulted in a phone call home for a change of clothes…the mother bringing the clothes walked across campus in her string bikini…and there wasn’t a lot of string.</p>
<p>my D is 5 feet tall, but has really long legs for her height, so skirts that fit her friends legs, go way up to THERE on her</p>
<p>I have a friend who is a high school teacher. When he first started teaching fresh out of college he was teaching highschool seniors at an all girls school. He said it was amazing how short those girls could make their skirts once the sat down. He spent the first few years teaching only facing the blackboard, becuase the girls would sometimes, um, sit certain ways to get his attention. He knew his best bet was to not even face them, so the novelty of a fresh young college man would lose its appeal</p>
<p>30 years later, he is still teaching</p>
<p>Do you even have a clue how annoying it is to try to teach when students come in late (only a few minutes, maybe, but every single time that door opens the whole class has to look up and be re-collected)? Or trying to deal with the distraction of adolescent boys with the skirt that’s just a little too short—and the girl wearing it can’t stop pulling at it, which just draws attention to it? Or the top that just barely reaches the bottom, but the girl isn’t comfortable, so everyone has to watch her fidget with her navel to keep it covered (which of course is the point, the navel piercing)? Or perhaps the boy whose shorts show–just a little? Or the kid you have to remind about the school policy against t-shirts advertising alcohol, delaying class while he leaves and comes back with it on inside out?</p>
<p>It’s amazing ANY teaching gets done, really. </p>
<p>Seriously: that was the first ten minutes of my teaching day. Oh, yeah, I got to write up the fight I stopped between two kids before class, too.</p>
<p>
mini~
This is a real pet peeve of mine! Our school is just out of control with the dress code thing…they enforce “harmless” stuff so strictly, but the big (white elephant in the room) stuff, they just let slide.</p>
<p>Case in point…they say that there can be no “gang” apparel or stuff that calls excessive attention (like weird hair colors and such). My oldest daughter, thinking her pretty little pink bandana was adorable all folded up to look just like a headband and worn like one (not like a scarf), was told to remove it because it was “gang clothing”. O.K., fine. But what did they do with the BOY who came dressed up in a slinky dress, high heels, make-up, etc. with black lipstick? Absolutely NOTHING. Why? Probably because MY child is well-behaved and will respectfully follow instructions and the other kid would most likely have cursed the administrator out. Nope, they don’t bother THOSE kids! </p>
<p>CGM~
I do understand your frustration and the “I told you so” feelling, but I think the school should have handled it WAY differently on a special dress day!</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>“she has to give me 45 minutes of time doing household chores, sounds harsh, but its not like she didn’t know and wasn’t advised against the short skirt.”</p>
<p>Harsh? For heaven’s sake no! It sounds perfectly reasonable to me.</p>
<p>No hats, caps, head bands, bandanas, dew rags allowed in my class, dresses are allowed, high heels and sandals are not. I will not waste class time or much of my time explaining why I am not going to allow pink and not allow red on a bandana.no bandanas means just that…I have too much to do as it is and the kids know that.</p>
<p>I don’t have a lot of behavior problems and it is very rare that I send a kid to the office (3xs last year,) a lot of it is avoided early in the year with short private conversations about respecting my space, school rules, and on developing strategies for bad days. If a kid is dressed inappropriately, and I notice (I try to keep contact with eyes not shoes) I usually tell them that it embarrasses me to have to tell someone thier age how to dress, would they not embarrass me again…they rarely do.</p>
<p>I would also comment, having served on disciplinary committees, that 80% of the kids who get into trouble are great kids who screw up for a day…and the teachers who help get them back on track are the ones who save them from joining the 10% who are seen almost every day. Why a parent would let a 13 year old girl wear a shirt to school declaring her, in sparkling letters, “SEX GODDESS” is beyond me. </p>
<p>Getting back to the lighter original post. A few years ago as I was telling my son that I didn’t approve of his decision…he turned to me and told me that I had had a choice to raise a robot child that obeyed every one of my whims and wishes, or I could raise a child who would think for himself, and on occassion learn from a mistake…“.Please don’t tell me you changed your mind and want be to become a robot child…because I think we passed that.” Two years later he was back asking for advice and occassionally taking it.</p>
<p>As far as making a mistake and refusing to admit that you learned from it…is par for the course.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Mr. B~
I have absolutely no issue with rules that are applied in a uniform and consistent manner with ALL students. I do, however, take issue with the selective application of said rules. In our school, it is not uncommon for SOME girls who wear midriff-bearing clothing to be written up, while so-called “popular” girls get away with it. By the same token, I consider a strip of material folded and worn as a headband (which IS allowed in our school) to be much less “distracting” than a boy in a slinky dress, high heels, and black makeup. This boy dresses like this constantly and has yet to be addressed. While “skimpy” clothing on girls is disallowed, there is a “Goth” group that dresses in tiny corsets and skirts. THAT is what I have the problem with…my child being held to a higher standard than some others. </p>
<p>Selective disciplinary action is also evident with student behavior. It is not at all uncommon for kids to backtalk and/or curse at teachers and have NO consequences. Meanwhile, my ultra-respectful daughter had to serve a lunch detention and wipe tables for accidentally forgetting a Wal-Mart bag on the lunch table once. </p>
<p>BTW, I am a former educator and a strong advocate for public schools, not someone who is clueless about how things work. </p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>our area doesn’t have probs with gangs as far as I can tell- not in school anyway. Dress code mostly fastens on language on shirts- can’t be violent/encourage drug use etc.
It is in an “inner city” area, but belly tops and pants that barely cover your a$$ or that you have to hold up with one hand while you walk seem to be losing their appeal for most.
Jeans worn with short dresses seem to be the new style ( well for girls) boys are still wearing jeans with baggy tops but not so baggy.
My kids have always been reasonable with their clothing- quite amazing really when I remember what I used to wear to high school-
My 15 yr old now mostly wears jeans and tee shirts, but she is long legged and short waisted so the tee shirts always cover her belly, the jeans are really tight though-( i guess she does have some cheerleader type skirts, but this girl maybe wears skirts a couple times a year, and usually it is on fridays when all participants on sports teams are supposed to dress up)
I don’t know what I would do if she went out of the house wearing something that I knew would challenge the dress code and she would be sent home- glad I don’t have to deal with that complication!</p>
<p>re: gangs
I was listening to the radio interview with Katrina survivors who have been relocated to LA. They are not happy- they are glad they are relatively safe, but very upset that they have to alter their wardrobe because it might be taken as a “sign” by one gang or another. They want to go back, where they can wear what they want, and not worry if it is red or blue.</p>
<p>I had to laugh reading the initial post. I remember being a h.s. kid getting dressed to attend a football game. My dad took a look at my pants and declared they were too vulgar, and he insisted that I change.</p>
<p>I was really, really angry, sure that he was too conservative and very wrong.</p>
<p>It took a while (OK several years) for me to realize that the pants were so tight that one could clearly see the crack in my butt, and yes, they were vulgar and inappropriate.</p>
<p>I remember that incident when S gets upset that I insist that he iron his clothes before doing things like attending college fairs.</p>
<p>What does the fact that the kid in a dress was a boy have to do with him being distracting? There was a transexual at my high school. She was very nice, wore dresses, or skirts or jeans and no one said boo.</p>
<p>That said- I still don’t understand where these kids get these so-called innappropriate clothes… are your kids buying their own stuff? Maybe it was me & my utter lack of interest in wasting my own $$ on skimpy tanktops (concerts were/are a much more appealing waste of money), but if I tried on an outfit and it was too skimpy, it didn’t get bought.</p>
<p>
It was the “unnaturally” colored makeup…that my daughter would not have been allowed to wear. What’s wrong with a pink headband?</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>I did buy my own stuff from sophmore year in high school.( I was employed) If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have even had a winter coat as my parents had other issues than making sure I had clothing.
The way I was built ( 32DD) made clothing that would have been reasonable on some girls, make me look like I was accepting “favors”. I didn’t really realize that though- I just wore what I liked.
I think lots of kids do buy their own stuff. My daughter gets a clothing allowance and goes shopping with her friends. She is a pretty good shopper and will compare items at several stores before she buys.
She has bought a few things I thought were inappropriate- ( thongs bought when she was in 8th gd) I freaked and threw them out and told her why. She hasn’t done it again.</p>
<p>The latest in one of our local school districts is that backless sandals are not allowed because they would make it more difficult to exit in case of fire. (Gag me with a spoon.) But backless clogs are perfectly fine. I’m very glad that they care so much about my children who are just incapable of thinking about the consequences of their backless sandal decisions.</p>
<p>The kids know exactly what this is about. Command and Control; Shock’n’Awe. The adults are often too hypocritical (and too cowed) to see it.</p>