<p>“She has bought a few things I thought were inappropriate- ( thongs bought when she was in 8th gd) I freaked and threw them out and told her why. She hasn’t done it again.”</p>
<p>And that’s your job. If I’d come home with thongs in 8th grade my mom would have freaked out. I just wonder why schools have to HAVE dress codes when “learning to dress one’s self” isn’t part of the curriculum… And I’m not saying I was a particularly easy to handle teen- my mom and I fought constantly (we still get along better when we’re in different states)- and we’ll never see eye to eye on some issues, but she’s the mom. </p>
<p>mini- that reminds me of a mitch hedberg joke where he was told he can’t sit in a certain place because it’s a fire hazard. He replied that as long as you have legs and are flammable, you are never blocking a fire exit.</p>
<p>Re: dress codes. I like my D’s school uniform. They can wear the official khaki pants/skorts or they can wear jeans on the bottom. They have to wear the shirt, though. She wears tight pink sweaters over the shirt, but she has the shirt on, so she meets the code. Kinda cute, IMO.</p>
<p>my daughters could have never attended a school with a dress code-
my oldest looked at a Catholic girls high school- that allowed jeans but none with any fraying or holes- that disallowed her whole collection ( she worked with ponies who tend to bite)
The youngest went through a period of wearing the same thing every day- but they were what she picked out- there was literally no way to force her to wear anything else.
I think uniforms are great for those who choose them, but especially public schools who force everyone to wear a uniform to continue to attend that school, I disagree with</p>
<p>During a real fire, how are those guys in the saggy pants and girls in jeans so tight their flesh hangs over the waistband, how are they gonna get out of the building when they can barely step up over the curb</p>
<p>as for dress code, its fine, its an agreement they make</p>
I think most dress code items are fairly silly - but I’m with the school board on this one - and on all other backless shoes. I hope my kid’s high school never has a fire. 3000 kids streaming down 3 flights of stair designed to transport 1500 kids max. Someone behind you accidently steps on the back of your flipflop, and down you go, with everyone else piling on top.</p>
<p>After racing items to BOTH my kids in the same day, I instituted a delivery fee.
I now charge $10 per forgotten item. It’s been working very well :)</p>
<p>Parents who care enough for their kids to help them to understand rules, who encourage them to bed on school nights, who limit television, computer and video game time; who have the strength to say no at the risk of being unpopular for the hour or weekend are saints and deserve the great kids they raise.</p>
<p>In Hawaii, kids at one school would save their place on the bus by leaving their shoes on the seat when they went into class. Some kept slippers (tongs) on campus but others were bare foot. One day, I was walking to school on one of those many perfect weather days, just the right combination of trade winds and sun light, I had to turn around, when I realized I forgot to put on shoes. Is there anything better than barefoot on warm sand or fresh cut grass.</p>
<p>“as for dress code, its fine, its an agreement they make.”</p>
<p>Yet another example of adult hypocrisy. They never would have agreed to anything of the kind, if the adults aren’t them hadn’t forced them to, while at the same time condoning cheerleaders walking around in their skimpies.</p>
<p>“I think most dress code items are fairly silly - but I’m with the school board on this one - and on all other backless shoes.”</p>
<p>The safest thing would be NO shoes. But since untied sneakers, clogs, and heels are perfectly fine with the schoolboard, we know what this is really about. ;)</p>
<p>With Mini on the adult hypocrisy thing. If there were a fire, there would be a million other concerns - such as dangling shoelaces, baggy shirts that can get caught, too-large backpacks that are weapons… there is always a “maybe if” reason to ban something - but that doesn’t make it a good reason.</p>
<p>Reminds me of what a local high school student was saying about her dress code, which effectively prohibits shorts. (Everything must be within a few inches of the knee - 3"? - and it’s impossible to find shorts that long for girls.) The guys all kind of laughed at it and said… “But skirts are more distracting!”</p>
<p>Just to show the gap between your Hawaiian experience and my urban one, I read your observation as “Is there anything better than barefoot on warm sand or fresh cut GLASS?” LOL</p>
From the feedback I have received about 6 children over 13+ straight years in this district, I have done a fine job of this. That said, I am at a loss with regard to helping them understand the selective and arbitrary application of those rules. </p>
<p>Another case in point: My daughter who was in 8th grade last year went to school with a young man who exhibited exceedingly bizarre and sometimes dangerous behavior. When the kids were doing a softball unit in P.E., this kid would stand for ages and do odd movements with the bat, often swinging it around in all directions. NO ONE said a word to him…they just let him do it, I assume because they were afraid of him. My children would have never been allowed to do this, nor would I have WANTED them to be. </p>
<p>In our high school, the dress code is applied selectively and arbitrarily. Like mini, I do not think a rule necessarily makes sense just because it IS a rule. SOME of the rules are useless and frankly, just provide one more avenue for adult/student conflict. I personally care more about general respect (no acts of harassment, no profane language, etc.) than I do about what kind of shoes a kid wears. Some of the rules just seem ludicrous to me. ~berurah</p>
<p>At my Ds school they can’t do homework…they sit there…for an hour…just sitting…“to think”…</p>
<p>what I don’t like about detention at my Ds school is that it is the same day, so if you have Drs. appointments, classes, etc, ah well…but, so far only one detention with oldest…don’t laugh…snaps on polo instead of buttons…yep, teacher in the reserves, she is one tough cookie</p>
<p>Right now, we are having a “drama” regarding"myspaces"…some girls posted some pictures of themselves drinking…I told my Ds, no paper or electronic trail for anything you do that breaks the rules or is illegal, not that they would break any rules anyway ;)</p>
<p>Citygirlsmom- I know that is what I was expecting. That is the way it was with my older D who also got it for being tardy. Son did say that some kids got kicked out for talking. They are not allowed to even speak a word.
Myspace is another one of those areas that I wish didn’t exist. My younger D has friends who are 11 whose parents allow them to go on and they end up leaving messages for my older son’s friends. I am always surprised what kids post on those things. I don’t know what they are thinking. Or maybe I do they aren’t thinking.</p>
They did ban those at our local high school one time because during a fire drill, a guy’s flip flop got caught in the doorway and slashed off half his toe nail. He had to go to hospital and get stitches. Since then they were banned but too many kids don’t follow the rule, so they switched it to banning the flip flops that can bend completely when you bend them backward. Not a really good rule as lots of shoes will band backward if you applied enough force, but it keeps everyone happy, students and school board.</p>