<p>If your brother is willing to throw money at it as you say, why not let him? Women of her age may tend to get very vulnerable-husband may be gone, longtime friends gone, remaining friends focused on their own families or their own health issues. Those like your mom who sounds like she is still well, vibrant, seem to really try to hold on as long as they can. I have seen it with mom and mother-in-law (both very intelligent women)-good friends have their own issues , are getting older and disappear. Church, college Club, Garden Glub ,etc. still send cards but fade away with any real support. Women who felt they wanted to stay independent, sometimes have trouble with that. Maybe your mom is trying to hold onto whatever social stuff she still has-bridge, clubs,etc. If she has been affluent, she still probably wants to project that image . It is amazing how health, that kind of stuff can change on a dime at that age. She may very well have seen contemporaries be vibrant one day, playing bridge,etc. and then having problems the next day. She may just want to maintain her style as long as she can and include some remaining friends in her celebration! If she is too demanding about any celebration for her, you and your brother may just need to set some limits with her.</p>
<p>My brother does not have a pot of gold either. He and his wife were thinking about spendng a bit more because they feel that they may need an extra hotel room to pay for a babysitter (yet another expense to go with this). They are new at the “parent thing” and are nervous about taking their child out of his routine and familiar environment, but they are willing to do so (they have done it once already). We are going to split the costs on this, regardless of what we decide. For our older children we will also pay for the same extra room, but my brother might have the babysitter added costs if they feel that a babysitter is necessary.</p>
<p>Give her a check and call it a day–she sounds, according to your posts, unappeasable.</p>
<p>The Greenbriar is lovely, but poster said that she is worried about budget. A weekend there for a family (esp. a larger family) could run well above 5k.</p>
<p>Or, maybe, a subscription to match.com? She might like, and you might get to foist her off on someone else for her birthday.</p>
<p>If folks go to Europe “off season,” prices CAN really be quite reasonable. If a trip for two to Europe is what both of you really think your mom would love, don’t discard it out of hand as being too expensive. There are lower-priced tours that can be had if the travelers aren’t too picky. Maybe if you & brother are able to contribute toward her Europe trip & she (and friend) can pay the difference to upgrade it to the trip of her dreams?</p>
<p>HImom, she has had many of these “trips of her dreams”. She is a seasoned traveler. Thanks though. </p>
<p>SWHarbor, thanks for the warning about Greenbriar. I just mentioned it to him and he would have considered this. Now that you mention that this could run 5,000, forget it. I would be responsible for 2.5 rooms and 4.5 people (sound funny to say 4.5 people, but obviously sib and I are sharing cost for mom).</p>
<p>The Greenbrier is expensive but if you get a reasonably priced room(275-300) and don’t go overboard with the food , you could probably keep it well under $5000. If your brother thought it may be a decent idea, it may be worth exploring further. It still may prove much more than you want to spend though.Any nice resort will be fairly expensive and it sounds like your mom likes nice things!</p>
<p>Another thought would be to stay somewhere much less expensive nearby but have one nice meal at someplace like The Greenbrier. This would apply at other resorts in different areas of the country if The Greenbrier didn’t work out. Often, there are nearby places that are nice but much less expensive. For instance, years ago , we stayed at The Inn at Gristmill Square (very nice but alot less expensive) in Warm Springs but had meals at The Homestead and The Greenbrier for our anniversary. We showed up for our anniversary dinner at The Greenbrier and as we were walking up the hall to the Main dining room, my husband turned to me and said he did not have his wallet! (had never happened before and has not happened since but happened at The Greenbrier of all places!). We were young, only about 30, before kids at the time. We hesitated for a minute but decided to proceed to the maitre’d as husband did have his checkbook in his suit pocket. We appoached the maitre’d, explained we had only a check but said where we were staying. The maitre’d did not blink, promptly seated us and we had a wonderful meal at a prime table with excellent service. Of course, I’m sure after they seated us they discreetly called the Inn to confirm who we were (my husband is quite tall so they only had to describe a very tall bearded man who happended to show up for dinner claiming he was staying at their Inn!)but I was impressed with how this was handled. Anyway, that’s my Greenbrier story! We passed through White Sulfur Springs last year and had a very nice lunch there at one of their other restaurants.</p>
<p>sevmom, thank you for taking the time to share this information with me. This type of thing might be one way to go for a weekend.</p>
<p>What about tickets for two for a week with hotel in HI for your mom? It isn’t Europe but they do have some sales that make prices quite reasonable and it could create some nice memories for your mom while taking the pressure off. The immediate family could have a nice dinner at your home in addition. It’s a thought & generally much cheaper than Europe.</p>
<p>Thank you for the suggestion, but I know that she does not want to go HI. I know that I’d love to go there though!!</p>
<p>For my MIL’s 80th birthday, we kept the celebration intimate and focused on her. We reserved a small room in a nice Italian restaurant. We arranged to bring her favorite cake to the restaurant and they agreed to serve it. Her family (kids and grandkids) and few of her closest friends were invited.</p>
<p>Now for the real present. At the time, the grandchildren ranged in age from about 8 to 20.
We asked each of them if they could write something special about grammy. The alternative suggestion was to create a piece of art for her. Our main objective was to have the grandkids use their own “voice” in their work. Just before serving the cake, each grandchild was given the opportunity to present their piece. They each had their turn to read their piece to grammy. We didn’t pressure the kids and we gave each of them the option to simply hand the piece to her if they felt nervous reading it in front of everyone. It was lovely. The pieces were later passed around the table and shared among the guests. </p>
<p>She’s 83 now and still talks about that gathering. She has the written pieces tucked away in a special place and every once in while, she pulls them out and reads them.</p>
<p>nysmile, that sounds just so lovely!</p>
<p>I’ll second sevmom’s experience in the area surrounding The Homestead in Warm Springs. There are several Inns that are not as expensive as the Homestead as well as small restaurants (Sam Sneads is nice). One nice feature of the Homestead is their children’s center/camp/babysitting in room. You’d have to check for the ages. The Homestead does have specials from time to time. Some package prices include dinner. Meals quickly add up. Children usually stay free. When looking at the price, unless otherwise stated, it is per person.</p>