@nooneathome - how was drop off? We are headed out tomorrow and I am a bundle of tears tonight. Held it together while we loaded up, but now my D is asleep and I can’t stop sobbing… Ugh. Ready for these “better days to come” that the mom’s who have been through this before mention… I know they will come but can’t see them right now! Hugs to you - hope it was ok!
I am loving those random questions. D os usually little miss self sufficient but would text with the most random things that she expected me to know about her off hand. I’m sure DS will do the same. They do both know that they don’t like eggplant though! 
Ah @kidsrexpensive , the night before… Hang in there. Let us know how it goes.
@nooneathome How are you?
“Did I ever have chicken pox?”
My daughter asked for her social security number 100000 times during freshman year.
DS texts several times a year to find out what he’s allergic to (most recently on Thursday) and he hasn’t even gone away yet. We could start a pool on how many more times he will ask his freshman year. 
I am starting to feel the impending departure emotionally as it gets down to just over a week out. Reality is setting in. 
Hey all, it’s as important to check in here AFTER the drop off as before - people need to know you CAN survive the initial departure!!! 
I hope in the midst of so many people’s sadness that you ARE genuinely excited for your kids AND are showing it to them. Deep down, many of them are also anxious as heck. Give them confidence.
((((((((( saintfan )))))))))
Me too, @nooneathome. I want to know how you’re doing as well. This Saturday is ‘go time’ for us, but I had a couple of days of genuine euphoria last week. I was feeling a bit proud of myself until I realized it was just relief from having gotten all the dorm room shopping done. Oh well, I’ll take what I can get.
@oldmom4896, LOL, now I don’t feel so guilty. It’s good to know my kid isn’t the only child who hasn’t memorized his SS number. Some lady at registration had commented that every kid should know that by now.
In the good news column kid #1 is actually home for almost the entire month of August - longer than we’ve had her since the summer after her Freshman year. I will, at least, have a kid to come home to after I get kid #2 installed. Kid #2 has joked about being a pain in the ass so as to make me miss him less but he made it up himself and was just kidding which actually made it worse. He is the funniest person I know and I will miss his little quips.
@saintfan and everyone else…BIG HUGS. I’m going through the same thing, hitting me hard this past weekend. The whole summer we have been thrilled and on a huge high, because he found out his last week of school he gets to go to the flagship…we thought he was going to have to stay home while all his friends left (go to the regional campus then transfer). Well, we haven’t felt the blues all summer…just so happy and excited! It’s DH’s and mine alma mater…so that added to the excitement. But…with the sadness of my Dad passing, it just really hit me HARD this past weekend an this morning that we take him next week.
He is my last child…my easy child, the ones who’s smile just brightens my day. I can’t believe this part of my life is over. Oh, we are so excited, as he wants us to visit alot (campus is only 75 minutes away) and we will. But it’s just not seeing him everyday that is hurting me SO MUCH. With my older son, I went thru the changing of life grief period, but I still had my youngest at home. Now there will be silence and 2 empty rooms I look at every morning. I"m not doing too well right now.
We keep telling ourselves to not mourn, because we are pretty sure our oldest won’t have a job out of college and will be back in 1 1/2 year…so we need to enjoy the next 18 months! Actually, we are going on a trip to Italy 3 weeks after drop off…so I’m hoping that will take our mind off of this. When I started planning this trip almost a year ago, that is what I had in mind.
good luck everyone.! We’ll all be crying together.
@conmama, My goodness, a trip to Italy sounds so much better than getting back into yoga. I’m jealous!
@evermom1 I’m actually going to start yoga for the first time, too. But…I am excited about this trip, been planning it since last September.
There is also an empty nester group at a large church in town (i haven’t been in ages). It says it meets on Sundays, but does things outside of that. So, I’m going to go once and see what it’s all about. There is also a book club at the same church that meets once a month at 5:30. Might check that out, too.
I’m feeling a little lost, like everyone else. Many of my friends still have one child left at home for 2 -3 years, so I can’t hang with them yet.
I really don’t know what to do with myself. Before kids, I worked FT and when at home, relaxing with DH. AFter kids…well, we all know what that is like. LOVED it, busy, busy busy and lots of socialization for me, too. Now…things are back to where they were again, except I only work a reduced schedule, DH works until 7:00 and I basically have no hobbies.
I feel like I have enough to get done in the yard to keep me going for quite a while and DH and I have some date nights blocked out for September. I’m not so much worried about time as the emotional part which is just starting to hit as it gets close. We’ve had a full house with D’s GF here for 10 days. She leaves today then it’s down to 2 for a week then 1 for a final week after I get back from move in. On the one hand, as a introvert am kind of looking forward to quiet time, but not necessarily at the expense of not seeing my babies until Christmas. But . . . that’s the whole point of parenting so I get it intellectually. I didn’t even cry at DS’s HS graduation so there’s already pent up emotion. I do anticipate being a mess.
It makes me SO sad to hear things like “I can’t believe this part of my life is over” - I just never think of it that way!
Any not-yet-but-coming-up-in-a-year-or-two “empty nesters”, please take steps now to make sure you have a life of your own, interests of your own, plans of your own. There is room to be a mom and “you” at the same time!
Other tip for those soon to be kidless at home - start planning NOW for things like their first trip home, your trip to visit them (if they aren’t too far away), plan the first couple of care packages, etc. YOU WILL SEE THEM AGAIN!!!
It is possible to have a life of your own and still miss your kids. Nothing wrong with being wistful even if the rest of your life is full and busy. I work full time, have a loving spouse, two pets and lots of pent up yard and house work,not to mention hobbies that I’d like to explore again. I have no intellectual qualms about sending my kid across the country to school. Still I will miss him dearly and I’m not shy about it.
Everybody misses kids and grandkids. However, if it causing to be in complete mess or not depends strictly on a person. Life is still going on and if it is going on in your way or not, depends strictly on a person, nobody can provide it to a specific person, not even a spouse, got to build it for yourself, with your own hands and brain. I do not see any way around this fact. For some, job is of primarily importance, for another is it a dog, for third person, it is tons of travel, shopping, cleaning, gardening… person #10 may need lots of new hobbies and person #11 loves to volunteer! Some love the combo of many things…and somebody just like to be in complete mess, this is their call. Who in a world can tell what is your call? Who can tell what you prefer doing with your life?.
This is true what you say @saintfan. I guess I just picture some moms here, with an empty house and a seemingly empty day and it makes me sad!
I would never mean to discount anyone’s feelings but I also have to be an advocate to “pick yourself up”!!!
I think it’s a comfort to know that this feeling of dread is not yours alone. I sent this thread to a friend who found it very helpful to read everyone’s take on the subject. And if not here, where???